Got drunk, got flashed, do I tell?
So a few months ago I went to a party and my “friend” that I’ve known for years peer pressured me to get drunk (he’s a boy), I had 5 shots of vodka and wanted to stop so I went upstairs and wanted to relax away from people as it was the first time I’ve ever drunk alcohol and been drunk. This boy, my “friend” then comes in and pulls down his pants and shows me his flacid ****. I look away and ask him to put it away, he doesn’t, I say it’s again and then he does. That was it. The thing is tho at that time me and my boyfriend were dating for four months, now we’re almost a year. I’ve been too scared to tell him. I’m not sure if it was sexual assault? Do I tell him or just leave it?
Original post by Anonymous
So a few months ago I went to a party and my “friend” that I’ve known for years peer pressured me to get drunk (he’s a boy), I had 5 shots of vodka and wanted to stop so I went upstairs and wanted to relax away from people as it was the first time I’ve ever drunk alcohol and been drunk. This boy, my “friend” then comes in and pulls down his pants and shows me his flacid ****. I look away and ask him to put it away, he doesn’t, I say it’s again and then he does. That was it. The thing is tho at that time me and my boyfriend were dating for four months, now we’re almost a year. I’ve been too scared to tell him. I’m not sure if it was sexual assault? Do I tell him or just leave it?
Unless he physically touched you then it's not sexual assault, more indecent exposure than anything else
It's not sexual assault because he didn't touch you.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
Original post by OddOnes
It's not sexual assault because he didn't touch you.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
I wouldn’t report him to the police or anything, I’m more torn on wheteher or not I should tell my boyfriend what happened as at the time I was too scared to tell him with fear of gown he would react
Original post by Anonymous
I wouldn’t report him to the police or anything, I’m more torn on wheteher or not I should tell my boyfriend what happened as at the time I was too scared to tell him with fear of gown he would react
I don't think I'd bother. The guy was probably just drunk and stupid. He the fact he was flaccid tells a lot. If he had an erection that would be more concerning.
That’s true thank you!
Original post by OddOnes
I don't think I'd bother. The guy was probably just drunk and stupid. He the fact he was flaccid tells a lot. If he had an erection that would be more concerning.
That’s true thank you!
Original post by OddOnes
I don't think I'd bother. The guy was probably just drunk and stupid. He the fact he was flaccid tells a lot. If he had an erection that would be more concerning.
he didn't touch you, stop crying about it.
Original post by 93jm
Just because he didn't touch them doesn't make it OK and it can still be traumatic and is definitely inappropriate telling them to get over it is not a helpful or nice thing to say. What I would say to OP is that you didn't do anything wrong and it's up to you whether you tell anyone.
Just about the only sensible reply in this thread.
To the OP, is this something that has psychologically affected you, or are you able to brush it off? If it's the former, I would suggest you speak to a counsellor or something.
So we've established you're not going to the police... telling your boyfriend, may raise questions on why you didn't tell him when it happened. On the other hand, if there's any chance that he may find out some other way, then it will be better coming from you.
Original post by OddOnes
I don't think I'd bother. The guy was probably just drunk and stupid. He the fact he was flaccid tells a lot. If he had an erection that would be more concerning.
But you're overlooking the fact that he pressured her to drink, even though she was teetotal before this. The fact that he then followed her up to the bedroom suggests that he planned for something to happen (to some degree).
As for the fact that he was flaccid, how do you know it wasn't "brewers droop"?
Original post by OddOnes
It's not sexual assault because he didn't touch you.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
It's probably not indecent exposure because it took place in a private house.
I'd just leave it as he did put it away after you said no (albeit a second time). I'd just laugh at the situation. You can't prove he did it as it would be your word against his. And would you really like to ruin his life for pulling his pants down once.
According to the Sexual Offences act (2003), a person is guilty of indecent exposure if:-
(a)he intentionally exposes his genitals, and
(b)he intends that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/66
Whether it happened in public or private is inconsequential according to the law... although I do concur that it would be harder to prove in these circumstances. However, the OP has already said she won't go to the police, so it's academic.
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