Should break up but I can't Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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We've had a lot of problems in the relationship and I'm permanently anxious, sad and kinda depressed. My insomnia has got worse too. I was happy before the relationship, and happy at the start, but he changed, he became hot and cold, inconsistent, it became hard to believe he liked me or loved me. I told him it hurt me, hurt me a lot he kept pushing me away and denying it or saying he would change and doing the same. We have bedroom problems too. He's tried to improve recently but it's too late, the damage is done, I don't think I'll ever be happy with him again, Im permanently doubting myself or him, I can't trust him and the pain is just destroying me. I love him but I hate him for doing this. I think it shows we're incompatible too, I need someone who gives me as much love and time as I give, else I'll just save all my love for myself, someone who is honest and open and good at communicating and assures me they love me, but gives me space and freedom. He used to be this person once but he had to change and ruin it all, and there's probably still some stupid hope that we could be happy like that again.

I would break up if I thought it would bring me peace, but I don't think it will. I'll still have lots of unanswered questions and never know the answers, and think about him all the time and still love him. I also hate the finality of it, and I can't bear to think I'd never kiss him or cuddle him or hold his hand or see him or speak to him again and we'd be strangers once more. Anyone been through this? I'm just such an emotional person, I know I need to leave but I just can't
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Nischal123
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#2
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if you see even the smallest possibility that things can turn around then dont end things, be patient, go out for a dinner, communicate with each other and hopefully it can work out. or you could maybe take a 1 week break and see how you feel during that week.
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Designeddeath
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We've had a lot of problems in the relationship and I'm permanently anxious, sad and kinda depressed. My insomnia has got worse too. I was happy before the relationship, and happy at the start, but he changed, he became hot and cold, inconsistent, it became hard to believe he liked me or loved me. I told him it hurt me, hurt me a lot he kept pushing me away and denying it or saying he would change and doing the same. We have bedroom problems too. He's tried to improve recently but it's too late, the damage is done, I don't think I'll ever be happy with him again, Im permanently doubting myself or him, I can't trust him and the pain is just destroying me. I love him but I hate him for doing this. I think it shows we're incompatible too, I need someone who gives me as much love and time as I give, else I'll just save all my love for myself, someone who is honest and open and good at communicating and assures me they love me, but gives me space and freedom. He used to be this person once but he had to change and ruin it all, and there's probably still some stupid hope that we could be happy like that again.

I would break up if I thought it would bring me peace, but I don't think it will. I'll still have lots of unanswered questions and never know the answers, and think about him all the time and still love him. I also hate the finality of it, and I can't bear to think I'd never kiss him or cuddle him or hold his hand or see him or speak to him again and we'd be strangers once more. Anyone been through this? I'm just such an emotional person, I know I need to leave but I just can't
You can’t because you think you need someone to make you feel good about yourself. Sis, you’ve got to start putting you first. Did you sign up for hot and cold? Because the chase is over doesn’t mean the hunt was useless, leave him
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mothcode
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I have gone through exactly the same thing as you. This was my first serious relationship which I had for 3 years. At the start, it was amazing. Later on though, I felt so anxious, depressed and confused all the time because it was so unstable. We kept arguing, breaking up and making up a couple of days later.

I did and do still love him, but I stayed until the fights got worse and decided to break it off a month ago now. I only realised how truly unhappy I was until I spent time away from him after the final break up. I haven't been this happy in years, and honestly it's a relief. A huge weight has dropped off my shoulders, I've lost the extra weight I gained, I can finally focus on my health, work, friends and family.

From personal experience, you'll keep loving and coming back to the person until you can't take anymore. But at that point, you realise it's time for change. If you're at this stage now and you need the final push - break it off. It's not worth it.

The most important thing to know is - you don't have to fall out of love to break things off.
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