Not sure what to do

hi. before I left uni for the summer, I sent my friend who I have feelings for a message explaining how I felt and that I wanted to not talk for a few months to get over him (he doesn't feel the same and doesn't seem to be over his ex). he agreed and was even the one who suggested space in the first place. but it's been a week of no talking and he keeps messaging me pointless things, like videos and replying to my story. the first time he messaged me he kept the conversation going until 4 in the morning. sometimes if i reply, he won't seem interested in the conversation even though he's the one who started it.

i just don't understand what he's doing - why suggest space if you're not going to give it to me? every time he talks to me i feel like i'm set back and my getting over him process restarts. idk what to do, i don't want to tell him not to talk to me because he's said before that i'm one of two of his closest friends and i feel bad if he feels like he can't talk to me when he needs to, but at the same time his behaviour is confusing me and i don't know whether i should be selfish and say you need to stick to our agreement... any opinions/advice appreciated

hi. before I left uni for the summer, I sent my friend who I have feelings for a message explaining how I felt and that I wanted to not talk for a few months to get over him (he doesn't feel the same and doesn't seem to be over his ex). he agreed and was even the one who suggested space in the first place. but it's been a week of no talking and he keeps messaging me pointless things, like videos and replying to my story. the first time he messaged me he kept the conversation going until 4 in the morning. sometimes if i reply, he won't seem interested in the conversation even though he's the one who started it.

i just don't understand what he's doing - why suggest space if you're not going to give it to me? every time he talks to me i feel like i'm set back and my getting over him process restarts. idk what to do, i don't want to tell him not to talk to me because he's said before that i'm one of two of his closest friends and i feel bad if he feels like he can't talk to me when he needs to, but at the same time his behaviour is confusing me and i don't know whether i should be selfish and say you need to stick to our agreement... any opinions/advice appreciated

Maybe he's just being friendly, but yeah he doesn't seem interested.

I would definitely tell him he needs to sort his s**t out and let you move on. Or even directly ask ‘why are you messaging me we agreed not to?’

To me, it seems like he’s so used to just talking to you and having you there, he himself feels lost you not being there. (Doesn’t have to be romantically, we all have them people were so used to talking to/telling everything too that when they’re not there we feel a bit lost)
It looks like he’s selfishly continuing to feed his own need (need being that empty feeling of not having someone to to talk to that he’s used to) and is going ahead and talking to you. not taking seriously what you have agreed of giving each-other space.

If he really is as good a friend as you believe him to be, he should be letting you get over him. True friends can handle blunt and honest and awkward conversations, don’t feel that you’re being mean, or selfish or horrible. I would simply make it clear if he NEEDS you, an emergency or something is seriously getting him down (effecting his mental health) you will be there for him. But as for the day to day, there
needs to be no contact, until you feel over him.

Also side note, that bit you said about him not replying when you message him, it sounds like sometimes he’s only interested in talking to you properly when he wants to?

There is someone so perfect for you out there who is going to change your life, the longer time spent trying to get over this friend the longer you’re being kept away from this perfect person for you. Do it for you!☺️

I know he's not interested he said so very clearly. I was just wondering if I should let him still talk to me or whether I should put myself first and enforce no contact more.

Thank you so much

It's definitely annoying that he's still talking to me, it just sets me back, and then when I try to continue a conversation he doesn't seem all that interested - it's just like, what are you trying to do here?

I think I will have a conversation with him if he messages me again, I want to know why he suggested space and isn't adhering to it, I doubt it's anything to do with him having feelings for me, as you say it probably is just missing our conversations as we used to speak 24/7 and it is strange to not be talking anymore. I just wish he'd let me get on with getting over him, sometimes it feels like he's trying to keep me interested, maybe because he wants attention idk

Thanks again, so helpful