I dont deserve the opposite sex.

Hi, I'm a 20 year old introverted male that has had no success with females in anyway, never had a female friend nor kissed one or even done anything with one at all and I kid you not never texted a single girl my entire time in high school. Idk why but I get along really well with guys so I don't understand how this turned out to be the case.

Throughout high school I was always the short scrawny kid who still hadn't hit puberty and that really lowered my self image and no girls ever paid attention to me, the few that did only made fun of my height. I don't exactly have the looks either. What's worse is that I didn't even notice I was not friends with any female. I remember the very moment I was doomed to be forever alone. This was during PE class where we were practicing ballroom dancing and our teacher told us to find a partner of the opposite sex, so naturally every female gravitated towards a guy they were chummy with. I stood there anxious, scanning around the area for any girl that would be alone but the one girl that was said no and said something like she sprained her ankle. I was practically the ONLY guy who didn't find a partner and I just sat down and watched everyone else dance away, It made me re-think where it all went wrong and when everyone started getting girlfriends/ female friends.

After this realization I started watching porn and beating my meat and this probably impacted my views on females unless they were family or much older of course. This objectification and growing lust for more hardcore pornography led to me ultimately trying to resist my over-indulgence of porn. Thus ever since the day I realized how disgusting I was with the porn I concluded that I don't deserve females since I cant even look at them in the eye without shame.

I've only recently started university and I've had a 2 girls express friendly interest in me but idk something about me just makes them lose interest that they stopped trying to talk to me. I'm at the point where i'm just seriously considering a life of being single forever....

TLDR: Lack of any action/friendship with females due to appearance led to poor self image and over indulgence in porn and the overwhelming guilt of this has made me decide to live celibate for the rest of my life.

Stop beating your meat and start exercising, eating healthy. It will just make you feel happier in general.

Stop beating your meat and start exercising, eating healthy. It will just make you feel happier in general.

You said : "Lack of any action/friendship with females due to appearance led to poor self image and over indulgence in porn and the overwhelming guilt of this has made me decide to live celibate for the rest of my life." Did you really write such bs about yourself? There were some girls who showed interest in you but not rvery relationship works out! But some will! Thats life!
Why do you focus on so much incorrect negative stuff- because if the thoughtlessness of a poorly performing teacher at your school years ago? that teacher should have guessed that someone would end up feeling humiliated, if not you then someone else! Ballroom dancing in a PE lesson- yiu kniw that teacher was clueless ,right?
Now your porn addiction is due to your loneliness and boredom! And your self esteem does not exist! You need to deal with this first and get some hobbies and interests!

Start lifting weights, change your image.

**** man you are right but its hard not to think so negatively since I've been very lonely lately and since in still living in student accommodation even though uni closed it just gets tempting. I've tried to get into new hobbies like football but I'm always bad at it and I get judged for it.

**** man you are right but its hard not to think so negatively since I've been very lonely lately and since in still living in student accommodation even though uni closed it just gets tempting. I've tried to get into new hobbies like football but I'm always bad at it and I get judged for it.