Still not over ex after a year

Ive just broken up after 6 months so I know how u feel.
However I'm in my mid 20s and have been in a serious relationship before.
How long were you bf/gf with your ex for?
Also where are you in life, are you a full time uni student, are you working?

Don't worry you will meet other awesome people in your life.
You are meant to be happy, and that happiness can be found with more than one person.
Believe me this is true.

And if you've managed to attract an awesome person before you will do it again

I'm not surprised it will take time.
There are no time scales for this type of thing as we are all different.
Some people will come to terms quite quickly others not so.
So don't worry take your time, and you will come out of it, remember the old saying time is a great healer, and believe you me it is. Good luck. X

I know time heals but a year ago I wouldn't have thought I'd still be thinking about my ex now.

Sorry about your breakup! I'm 22 (graduated, working) and we were together for 1 year 7 months. I know it's not long but we were serious and he was older than me by 6 years so had a lot more relationship experience. He also said I was the best thing that happened to him and I was his longest relationship because of that but... look where we are now. Thanks for the reply, I just need some practical advice more than emotional.

Yeah 19 months is a long time of course you're gonna still have thoughts about him.
In my first relationship of roughly a year, I didn't stop thinking about her for the next 6 months.

You probably were the best thing that happened to him.

But things end for a reason and that's just how life works. Doesn't mean the times spent with that person meant nothing, in fact it's the opposite.

Do you really still want a friendship with him or is that just emotions talking?
Because how is a friendship with an ex gonna work when you're with someone?

I know if my boyfriend found out I was texting him even as friends he would be really upset. But my boyfriend lives in a different continent and I don't know when I'll even see him again. Also he knew I still had feelings for my ex as I still loved my ex when I met my current boyfriend. I was also honest with him when we were on/off explaining that I still had feelings for my ex. But then I recently went to visit my boyfriend and stayed with him for a month so I guess he assumes I've moved on now.

Yes he would assume you've moved on, it would be very unfair on him otherwise.

No-one's saying you don't love your ex. I love my ex, but what's the point dwelling on it.

"I would break up with my current boyfriend if it I meant I could be his again." is not a good place to be. I'm guessing you didn't tell your boyfriend this.

I suggest either you resolve these feelings inside you and know that they are just feelings which will go away. Or you tell your boyfriend you are not ready to be in a relationship right now until you work these things out.


And relationships do not need to end because a party is at fault. Actually neither of my relationships ended that way.

I reiterate what I said, you can still love your ex but that doesn't mean you can't move on. I'm moving on as we speak

He didn’t want to hurt you, yet he was happy to muddy the waters and continued to sleep with you even though he knew you had feelings. He sounds very selfish.

I actually don't want to dwell anymore. I feel like I want to move on but there are two things stopping me. One is the idea that one day we'll get back together and live happily ever after. And another is, what if I regret letting him go? I don't want to be feeling like this many years later, when he's married to someone else. I've been watching a lot of Back With The Ex as well (hope my boyfriend doesn't see this on my Netflix account lol) and it's just made me feel like I need to try again because the way I felt about him was something I've never felt before and it's never really gone away, even after a year.

Breaking up with my boyfriend would destroy him. I already tried to do it two or three times and all I do is keep hurting him and I feel horrible. He loves me so much, I know he does. I try to tell him he deserves better but all he sees is me. I don't want to break his heart again only for my ex to reject me AGAIN. It will just be too much unnecessary heartache.

Also, how can you love someone and move on at the same time? Aren't they constantly on your mind? Don't you feel the urge to message them and ask how they are?

Excuse me but what do you mean 'letting him go'. Are you in denial that you have broken up? How do you do that, find another boyfriend and even go abroad to stay with him for a whole month?

There is nothing rational about that. You have to admit it is just feelings talking because you can't expect someone to take that seriously.

Your situation is not uncommon. I've told you that I've had similar experiences. You will not lose that feeling anytime soon, the first love is very powerful.

If you don't want to continue the relationship with your boyfriend then end it. It is unfair on him if you don't want to be with him but you are staying with him anyway. 'Because he loves you', 'because it would destroy him' are not good reasons for staying in a relationship.

If you do stay with him then he will assume as everyone else will that you love him and want to be with him. Again I will emphasise that you travelled abroad to stay with him for 1 month. You don't want to imply that you did that for his benefit?

Love isn't the only thing in a relationship. If that person doesn't trust you, respect you or vice versa then these are things that break relationships down.
Yes ex-lovers are on my mind sometimes but I know that I am remembering the good times so that I feel good, but that nothing in life is 'perfect'.

Your ex is not perfect as you said. No human is, we are all the same and I know you love him and he was your first and only, but there will be someone else. If your current boyfriend is not this person then reconsider why you are staying with him.

There are other threads on this but it is not normal to stay in contact with your ex. It doesn't sound like you have moved on mentally or emotionally but this needs to happen for you to be happy.

It's more complicated than you think. I'm not in denial about the breakup (well, maybe a tiny bit) but I just feel like if I let us drift apart (even as friends) I might end up regretting it later.

I met my boyfriend when I went to volunteer abroad in the country he lived in, which also happens to be the same country I was born before I moved here. Anyway, I recently went to stay with him to have a holiday, see my family there as well as see him. I booked the flights very spontaneously when I was in a really good place with him.

I don't regret the decision as it brought us much closer and helped me stop thinking about my ex. But now I'm back in the same country as my ex and away from my boyfriend, my ex is alwaaaays on my mind.

I acknowledge my behaviour can seem irrational and abnormal but I do want to change it. If only someone could steal my phone and erase his number from my memory so I'll have no choice but to not contact my ex.

I do want to be with my boyfriend but I just don't love him the way he loves me. I feel like in a relationship there's always someone who loves the other person more. Like I think I loved my ex more. I mean, he became completely emotionally unavailable towards the end.

You need to cut contact with him fully. Use that time period to get over him and in the future when those feelings have gone you can think abt being friends with him.