Does this make me a bad person?

I went through a long term relationship breakup a year ago because my ex of many years wanted to pursue my close friend at the time. She had done questionable things that made him think that she liked him (I can’t say on here as it’s too specific and I don’t want her to know this is me).

After we broke up, he actually did pursue my friend but she told me she rejected him. I’m just finding it hard to trust her as they are both still at uni together whilst I have already graduated so have no idea what is happening over there. She also tells me about a mysterious guy in her life and doesn’t show me any photos or even tell me his name.

I’m thinking to sell the one gift she has ever given me a couple years back as I want to just move on and cannot use it without thinking of her and my ex and all the pain I felt back then. I’ve only used it once anyway. Am I a bad person because I’m selling her gift?

I also am trying to distance myself from her as every time I message her I am just reminded of how she was the one my ex chose, and how if I never met her 2 years ago, I’d still be with my ex. We were serious enough to the point where he did say he was going to propose to me at graduation, but I ended up graduating without him by my side.

I just want to move on and not have any more reminders of either of them in my life.

Reply 1

xxColinxx

7

That's a tough situation. I think your feelings & emotions are perfectly understandable. But also, assuming your friend is being honest about everything, she didn't do anything wrong either. Ideally you'd be able to move past everything and hold on to the friendship. Hopefully with a little more time to process everything you'd have an easier time doing that?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by xxColinxx

That's a tough situation. I think your feelings & emotions are perfectly understandable. But also, assuming your friend is being honest about everything, she didn't do anything wrong either. Ideally you'd be able to move past everything and hold on to the friendship. Hopefully with a little more time to process everything you'd have an easier time doing that?

I’ve had a year to process everything. I haven’t seen her since. I have no reason to see her anymore as we don’t live near each other and we have met new friends since. So I’m happy moving on from her for my own peace.

I know you said we can assume that she has done nothing wrong, but it’s just an assumption and I can never truly know if anything has happened. I wouldn’t be surprised after seeing the things she had done whilst I was still with my ex, and I know for a fact that she did find him attractive as she told me this herself

Reply 3

xxColinxx

7

Original post by Anonymous

I’ve had a year to process everything. I haven’t seen her since. I have no reason to see her anymore as we don’t live near each other and we have met new friends since. So I’m happy moving on from her for my own peace.

I know you said we can assume that she has done nothing wrong, but it’s just an assumption and I can never truly know if anything has happened. I wouldn’t be surprised after seeing the things she had done whilst I was still with my ex, and I know for a fact that she did find him attractive as she told me this herself

ok yeah...that makes sense then, since you & her have already been drifting apart over the past year.

Sorry you had to go thru that overall situation. The good news you'll meet someone else that's a better match for you, and it's a bit cliche but it's true that you'll appreciate it that much more given the challenges you've gone thru.

Is there anyone else you're interested in at the moment, if you don't mind me asking?

Does this make me a bad person?

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