The Student Room Group
u tell me g
I believe so.
Yes.
If the couple love each other, are willing to compromise and understand that being together often comes at the cost of being entirely shunned or disowned by their closest biological relatives.
It is very unlikely that parents who are very caste conscious, religious fundamentalists, cultural traditionalists or have a long family tradition of arranged marriages to relatives will ever accept the love marriage of descendants who choose spouses of a different religion.

I grew up with many children whose parents were sikhs in interfaith marriages with fellow asians of other castes, nationalities and religious backgrounds.
My mother was almost beaten to death by her father & maternal grandmother for deciding to marry an atheist, disinherited and banned from attending her father's funeral.
Her family were english ultra-traditionalist catholics that practiced arranged marriages and religious endogamy for centuries.
Reply 4
Original post by londonmyst
Yes.
If the couple love each other, are willing to compromise and understand that being together often comes at the cost of being entirely shunned or disowned by their closest biological relatives.
It is very unlikely that parents who are very caste conscious, religious fundamentalists, cultural traditionalists or have a long family tradition of arranged marriages to relatives will ever accept the love marriage of descendants who choose spouses of a different religion.

I grew up with many children whose parents were sikhs in interfaith marriages with fellow asians of other castes, nationalities and religious backgrounds.
My mother was almost beaten to death by her father & maternal grandmother for deciding to marry an atheist, disinherited and banned from attending her father's funeral.
Her family were english ultra-traditionalist catholics that practiced arranged marriages and religious endogamy for centuries.

this honestly makes me so upset. I just wish parents were more understanding of the fact that just because they see life to go one way (eg. arrange marriage with someone from the same caste, same religion), doesn't need that their child has to also lead the same life - everyone should have a choice for what they want from their lives and who they want to spend it with. I think these parents don't even understand that because of the pressure from family, if their child even gets into a long term relationship they don't approve of, they must be so so serious about it because had they not wanted it so badly, they would give it up for the family. I wish parents love was conditional and not unconditional based on who you choose to marry.
my parents are struggling to imagine, marrying someone from a different caste so.... depends....? Also how old are you. Cos if you are in high schl then it would be a bit stupid.
Reply 6
Original post by yourbutt205
my parents are struggling to imagine, marrying someone from a different caste so.... depends....? Also how old are you. Cos if you are in high schl then it would be a bit stupid.

yh same mines are very strict too. I am 19 and I guess thats like an age where you reach maturation etc so I'm not in the relationship currently, we have broken up a year ago for the reason of family not accepting us in the future if we lasted but I still love him and he's still a major part of my life (we stayed friends) and I was thinking that if even years after this I still can't move on from him then maybe it would be worth giving in and just fighting for the relationship when we would wanna get married?
I think its possible, however I have found it to be difficult on a personal level, not due to my parents, who are too liberal imo, but from the other halfs, even when they dont come from educated backgrounds or there daughters are not doing anything extrordinary either, they seem to think they are inherently better.

So I now try to actively avoid women from asian backgrounds, not because they are unattractive, but because it is a lot of hassle which you dont deal with in English/Irish families, who are usually very friendly and upfront with you and it helps that they also enjoy drinking and football and are chilled out and not looking to nitpick every little thing lol. You can also chill out around their place and don't have to go somewhere like you do when seeing an asian girl lol

I think after a few times of this process happening, you lose the will to pursue things and try to look for other avenues as there is a sense that this is inevitable. Perhaps its different for girls from these backgrounds whose parents are more well-heeled/cultured and therefore have a bit more agency and autonomy and place less importance of what "the community" think? :confused:
(edited 3 years ago)
It's not up to them.
Original post by username1177050
I think its possible, however I have found it to be difficult on a personal level, not due to my parents, who are too liberal imo, but from the other halfs, even when they dont come from educated backgrounds or there daughters are not doing anything extrordinary either, they seem to think they are inherently better.

So I now try to actively avoid women from asian backgrounds, not because they are unattractive, but because it is a lot of hassle which you dont deal with in English/Irish families, who are usually very friendly and upfront with you and it helps that they also enjoy drinking and football and are chilled out and not looking to nitpick every little thing lol. You can also chill out around their place and don't have to go somewhere like you do when seeing an asian girl lol

I think after a few times of this process happening, you lose the will to pursue things and try to look for other avenues as there is a sense that this is inevitable. Perhaps its different for girls from these backgrounds whose parents are more well-heeled/cultured and therefore have a bit more agency and autonomy and place less importance of what "the community" think? :confused:


lol
Everything else is fine but due to religious differences, it depends on the parents.

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