Dating etiquette for guys

Original post by Anonymous

On dates, should guys not make a move until she makes it clear she wants to be touched or kissed? Or should the guy make a gentle but confident attempt to touch in appropriate places initially?

She doesn't need to expressly write out her Permission To Be Touched on a napkin or something, no. But equally, it's a good idea to do what you've written and, in your words, "make a gentle but confident attempt to touch in appropriate places initially". Touching a forearm or something is ideal as a first touch - but be aware to her reaction to it. If she seems to flinch or back off a bit, then no more touching!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Not a lot of girls will make it clear if they want it, but will if they don't. I find mostly my dates have been awful at reading body language. Despite staring at my body most of the time. And then going in for kisses when i was far away from them and not even looking at them. Or grabbing my thigh when my arms were crossed. Big no!!

Reply 3

Original post by Anonymous

Or grabbing my thigh when my arms were crossed. Big no!!

Oh jesus...that's a bit of a schoolboy error.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Reality Check

Oh jesus...that's a bit of a schoolboy error.

he was at least 40!!

Reply 5

Original post by Anonymous

he was at least 40!!

that's a million times worse!

Reply 6

OP

Original post by Reality Check

She doesn't need to expressly write out her Permission To Be Touched on a napkin or something, no. But equally, it's a good idea to do what you've written and, in your words, "make a gentle but confident attempt to touch in appropriate places initially". Touching a forearm or something is ideal as a first touch - but be aware to her reaction to it. If she seems to flinch or back off a bit, then no more touching!

What if she doesn’t react at all?

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous

What if she doesn’t react at all?

Unlikely that there would be no reaction at all - you need to watch carefully. If it does seem fairly neutral, then try touching her again and see if it is not only 'accepted', but reciprocated. If it is, then you know you're on the right lines. If you continue to touch her and she shows no signs of touching you back, or being particularly receptive to this, then that's a sign to back off the touching and just carry on talking to her, giving her plenty of personal space and leaving the touching stuff until a following date or something. Under no circumstances go in for a grab or something if she doesn't seem receptive to your initial advances (but I think you know that already) :smile:

Reply 8

Also remember that a lot of people are uncomfortable with being touched, or having their space invaded. This doesn't mean that she doesn't 'like' you, or that you've done something wrong; it's just that it takes some people longer to feel comfortable enough with someone to accept them touching you. We are British, after all :smile:

Just take it slowly, watch very carefully for her reaction to things and always err on the side of caution and respect her personal space.

Reply 9

OP

Original post by Reality Check

Unlikely that there would be no reaction at all - you need to watch carefully. If it does seem fairly neutral, then try touching her again and see if it is not only 'accepted', but reciprocated. If it is, then you know you're on the right lines. If you continue to touch her and she shows no signs of touching you back, or being particularly receptive to this, then that's a sign to back off the touching and just carry on talking to her, giving her plenty of personal space and leaving the touching stuff until a following date or something. Under no circumstances go in for a grab or something if she doesn't seem receptive to your initial advances (but I think you know that already) :smile:

It would be a lot easier if she makes a move first but I guess that’s wishful thinking.

Reply 10

Original post by Anonymous

It would be a lot easier if she makes a move first but I guess that’s wishful thinking.

- you never know, she might be a bit of a grabber!

Reply 11

OP

Original post by Reality Check

- you never know, she might be a bit of a grabber!

I think that would intimidate most guys.

Reply 12

Original post by Anonymous

I think that would intimidate most guys.

I remember the grabbers being rather fun, actually. :moon:

Reply 13

username5319484

19

Original post by __KimTaehyung

Touch her if you look like KimTaehyung or JeonJungkook.

If not, have some respect.

Did you forget to become anon?

Reply 14

OP

Original post by Reality Check

I remember the grabbers being rather fun, actually. :moon:

What did they grab?

Reply 15

__KimTaehyung

4

Original post by hungrysalamander

Did you forget to become anon?

KimTaehyung with red hair is a whole kink ❤️🖤

Reply 16

Original post by Anonymous

What did they grab?

It would be ungallant to say. You can probably imagine...

Reply 17

ANM775

20

Original post by Anonymous

On dates, should guys not make a move until she makes it clear she wants to be touched or kissed? Or should the guy make a gentle but confident attempt to touch in appropriate places initially?

start off with a bit of light touching at times when speaking timed in with the conversation. keep doing this at times but don't go overboard.
do not sit face to face if you want to kiss her. if you have picked a dinner and it is face to face it is extremely difficult to get a kiss because of the distance, and also you are eating.

if you want a kiss you need to pay attention to the womans state and how she's feeling. on a scale of 1 to 5 rate how attracted (in that moment) she is to you. eg: 5 she seems really really attracted to you almost salivating or getting lost in your eyes, 3 she seems attracted to you, she seems flirty but it could definitely ramp up a stage. 1 or 2 she's seems platonic ..or obviously not feeling you. 4 she seems higher than 3 but less than 5

if she is in 4 or 5, simply saying something like "you have nice eyes, *and then leaning closer* and then saying "can i get a kiss" has a very high probability in my experience in getting the kiss. even if she pauses and considers it ...she'll typically end up going for it.
if she is in 3 then asking for a kiss will probably get you rejected. you need to try and get her to 4 ...or if you can't get her to 4 you might opt to just try lunge at her and hope she doesn't dodge you but in all honesty even if you catch her by surprise i think she will probably immediately pull away from the kiss so i cant say i recommend this.
if she is in 1 or 2 then there's no chance of getting the kiss.

do not make the mistake of waiting till the end of the date to try and kiss her as you don't know what state she will be in then. she may have peaked earlier in the date and you may have missed your window.

when i created this system and implemented this i found getting kiss from women on nights out and dates not that hard...., whereas before i was literally never getting them, and tbh a lot of the time too "afraid" to try incase i got rejected.

in a club though or night out, if you try and kiss a woman whilst she is in 3 ... this can cause her to make some excuse and flee ....so do keep this in mind. you really want 4 or 5

Reply 18