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GCSE English language paper 1 Qs 5

Hi,Can someone mark this and give me a grade.English is my worst subjects .
The sun dripped warmth like hot wax, both soothing and smarting the inside of the aeroplane that floated in the icy air. The land lowed with light, piercing the inside of my pupil like a needle. The blue horizon rippled like a bronze shield beaten by a hammer, as though some Greek god had been reborn to hurl the shard of glorious light onto the grateful passengers inside.

Laughter echoed through the journey as people who were once strangers were now best friends, hugging each other with tightness. A tightness that pressed against the veins of their bodies, sending waves of closeness through their body. Electrifying their nervous system with tingling emotion. Friends that had now come to know the depths of each other’s souls in a matter of hours. Despite it being blistering cold inside, the ecstatics almost sparked warmth through the body of the plane, comforting the passengers and erasing the usual silence that comes in a plane.

Children were entrenched and absorbed into the colourful cartoons that danced in front of their small eyes. Happiness glimmered on their faces as they watched how these characters moved and spoke to them as if the distant stars themselves had danced on their soft, supple skins.

Aromatic and delicious, the food seduced me as it emitted its scent into my nose, making the acid in my stomach growl with hunger as if a beast had been long caged, scratching at the lining of my stomach for the hope of escaping. Saliva dripped from my mouth; my eyes widened with excitement as the food was placed onto my dusty, grey table.

Each bite and each nibble was an explosion of flavour inside of my mouth. Flavours that were brought from every part of the world: Asian, Italian and Chinese. I wanted to savour each flavour inside of my mouth. Forever.

Looking from my double glazed window, I could see the sun glinting off the glass, prying to come inside to try to warm me up.
Fear crept into my heart like a slithering snake capturing its prey hostage, paralyzing it by suffocating the fresh oxygen out from its raw, pink lungs.

The engine stopped moving and glints of fire sparked off the metal fan.
Small the fire raged with heat, growing larger and bigger as seconds passed.

A voice contaminated with anxiety and sadness spoke through the loudspeakers, a death sentence waiting to be given to the 200 people on this plane .

The plane that once was serenely moving through the air (with no problems in sight)to drop us off at our summer holiday destination was veering us to our deaths. Moving up and moving down in a zig-zag motion as if the plane was a drunken man.

Yellow, bright masks dropped from the ceiling to prevent us from dying of hyperventilation, and a signal that trouble is ahead of us. That we should join all together to fight it as a family.

Seatbelts were strapped on tightly,hand rests were now placed down and all hope was placed on the pilot

Children were now staring at a black screen of darkness that ebbs at their happiness, sucking each spark of light and replacing it with eternal darkness of struggling.

Giggles and laughter, which emitted light, were now replaced with silence. A silence that echoes a screech of fear that would burst your eardrums open.

Smiles, cheering and comfort: feelings that dissipated into thin like they never existed, replacing it with an emptiness that bites at the hearts of the passengers. A fear that they will never see each other again.A fear that they will never see their families again.

The sky put on its black cape: the closest clouds cuddled, armoured in battleship grey; those coming behind streaked with the black of coal smoke; those on the horizon dark as slate. Crimson red blood splattered on the icy white snow, staining the fresh water with a lonely death.
Beneath a passenger might shut their eyes and prey of escaping this icy land, dreaming of the cavalry of sunlight.