Why I rejected him - was I wrong?

I would just like to open up this conversation topic as I’m curious as to what people’s opinions are around a situation I found myself in last year.

To be concise, when I joined my schools drama group last year I made loads of friends, one of which we are going to call Dylan.

Dylan was perfectly lovely, great in so many ways but I loved him as a friend.

I HAD NO ATTRACTION TO HIM ROMANTICALLY WHATSOEVER

However, Dylan eventually asked me out. It turns out he REALLY liked me.

I rejected him, and it was because he was too much of a friend but there’s another reason….

He was too short for me.

Or rather, I felt too tall.

I have always felt insecure about my height as I’m quite tall compared to my friends, I can’t think of anything worse than having a boyfriend that I was taller than; I would’ve felt too big and fat and just… YUCK.

When I say short, I mean Dylan is REALLY short. The shortest boy in our Year group.

So anyway, he eventually found out that his height was a component for my rejection and I feel so bad about it!! But I’m just not attracted to him, is it so bad that I rejected him? Surely I couldn’t date someone that I wasn’t attracted to?

Whenever I bring it up, I don’t think he understands that it is mainly to do with MY insecurity, not his appearance.

Thoughts?

Reply 1

Zarek

21

Who you find attractive and choose to date is one area where you can discriminate on whatever basis you want. You don’t even have to justify it and often it’s best not to. Height does seem to be an important thing for many women. I do find it a bit difficult to understand but fortunately this is one area where I’m ok.

Reply 2

amanikaurr

13

Original post by thesubwaysrock

I would just like to open up this conversation topic as I’m curious as to what people’s opinions are around a situation I found myself in last year.

To be concise, when I joined my schools drama group last year I made loads of friends, one of which we are going to call Dylan.

Dylan was perfectly lovely, great in so many ways but I loved him as a friend.

I HAD NO ATTRACTION TO HIM ROMANTICALLY WHATSOEVER

However, Dylan eventually asked me out. It turns out he REALLY liked me.

I rejected him, and it was because he was too much of a friend but there’s another reason….

He was too short for me.

Or rather, I felt too tall.

I have always felt insecure about my height as I’m quite tall compared to my friends, I can’t think of anything worse than having a boyfriend that I was taller than; I would’ve felt too big and fat and just… YUCK.

When I say short, I mean Dylan is REALLY short. The shortest boy in our Year group.

So anyway, he eventually found out that his height was a component for my rejection and I feel so bad about it!! But I’m just not attracted to him, is it so bad that I rejected him? Surely I couldn’t date someone that I wasn’t attracted to?

Whenever I bring it up, I don’t think he understands that it is mainly to do with MY insecurity, not his appearance.

Thoughts?

There is no need to feel guilty or a certain type of way about what happened in this situation. You were honest and didn’t see him as more than a friend so it’s a good thing you didn’t pursue it and lead him on. I do agree that when rejecting someone if it is because of physical trait it might be best not to bring that up just because it may hurt the other persons feelings. Either way you were honest so you shouldn’t feel upset about it. It’s one of those things in life we all get rejected at some point or another, we just have to deal with it and move on.

Reply 3

username5821746

10

Original post by thesubwaysrock

I would just like to open up this conversation topic as I’m curious as to what people’s opinions are around a situation I found myself in last year.

To be concise, when I joined my schools drama group last year I made loads of friends, one of which we are going to call Dylan.

Dylan was perfectly lovely, great in so many ways but I loved him as a friend.

I HAD NO ATTRACTION TO HIM ROMANTICALLY WHATSOEVER

However, Dylan eventually asked me out. It turns out he REALLY liked me.

I rejected him, and it was because he was too much of a friend but there’s another reason….

He was too short for me.

Or rather, I felt too tall.

I have always felt insecure about my height as I’m quite tall compared to my friends, I can’t think of anything worse than having a boyfriend that I was taller than; I would’ve felt too big and fat and just… YUCK.

When I say short, I mean Dylan is REALLY short. The shortest boy in our Year group.

So anyway, he eventually found out that his height was a component for my rejection and I feel so bad about it!! But I’m just not attracted to him, is it so bad that I rejected him? Surely I couldn’t date someone that I wasn’t attracted to?

Whenever I bring it up, I don’t think he understands that it is mainly to do with MY insecurity, not his appearance.

Thoughts?

No, it isn't bad that you rejected him, you weren't romantically to him anyways.

It isn't that bad for a girl to reject a guy because he is shorter than they are.

I think the problem lies in when a girl rejects a guy for their height even if he is a lot taller than she is.

In my opinion at least.

Reply 4

anosmianAcrimony

20

If you're not romantically attracted to someone, that's sort of the end of the conversation, isn't it? It wouldn't have been kind or fair to him or yourself to enter into some sort of romance that you weren't actually into.

Why I rejected him - was I wrong?

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