Why do I get scared whenever someone likes me?

I have never had a GF before, but I really want one. I have been on dates and hung out with girls that I don't really like before. But I get very scared whenever someone that I really like shows interest in me. This has happened only once or twice because mostly the girls I like don't like me back. But recently there has been a girl that I do like, and she completely ignored me at first, so I assumed she didn't like me. But now she is suddenly showing interest in me. And yet again I feel scared and like I don't want to see her and I just want to avoid her or something. The worst thing is she is really attractive. Has anyone else been through this.

I have never had a GF before, but I really want one. I have been on dates and hung out with girls that I don't really like before. But I get very scared whenever someone that I really like shows interest in me. This has happened only once or twice because mostly the girls I like don't like me back. But recently there has been a girl that I do like, and she completely ignored me at first, so I assumed she didn't like me. But now she is suddenly showing interest in me. And yet again I feel scared and like I don't want to see her and I just want to avoid her or something. The worst thing is she is really attractive. Has anyone else been through this.

@studygirl tbh I suffer from all the things you mention

That'd explain it, then. So you need to work on your mindset a bit.

As for the self-esteem issues, you need to practice more positive thoughts to have a good sense of who you are. Figure out the root cause(s) of your confidence struggles. It could be negative past experiences, perhaps you just compare yourself to others and feel as though you are not worthy. Once you've done this, work to avoid things that trigger your negative thought patterns. For example, scrolling through social media or following certain accounts of people we compare ourselves with can be a contributing factor. If it was a past experience, you need to make peace with it. This is much easier said than done, but again, it's about practicing tolerance towards yourself and accepting who you are.

Whenever you have these negative thoughts, try challenging them. Ask yourself how likely they are to be realistic. You can even make a list (physical or mental) of evidence for and against. I know this may sound odd or like a lot of effort to go through just to tackle on thought, but it can really help to get to the bottom of, and effectively, solve it.

As for a fear of vulnerability, this is normal for anyone. But it's also something that can prevent us from making meaningful connections with people. Again, it's similar to how you deal with self-esteem problems, you need to confront those negative thoughts. Try to deduce them. What is it about vulnerability that scares you? Most often, it's judgement. Again, ask yourself how likely this person is to judge you. Make sure you know them well enough to know they care for you and have good intentions, of course. If you know this, you'll have some certainty at least that they are going to be understanding towards you. It can reduce some of the fear. The more you get to know this person, the more confident you will become around them. Before you know it, it'll be second nature.

Uncertainty is something that inevitably comes with forming relationships (especially for the first time). My advice here is to just go with it. Trust your judgement of this person. There will always be risks when you open yourself up to someone, but without taking that risk, you may end up not meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. There are potential risks, but there are also potential benefits. It will get easier with time.

The previous thing links with attachment issues. Again, it's about uncertainty. "What if I become attached to this person and they leave or hurt me?". It's a question that most people have probably asked themselves. The truth is you need the self-confidence I mentioned earlier in order to reassure yourself that whilst others can change, you are still you. You can still pick yourself back up, it's always an option. It will never be your loss if they treated you badly or if they simply felt like things weren't working out as they should. It's a learning experience.

Many would argue the risks are worth the benefits.