My body dysmorphia is making dating/sex impossible

I am not asexual, far from it, and I'm not a virgin. Really I'd describe myself as hypersexual if anything. However, I find it genuinely nearly impossible to become intimate with others because of how disgusting I think my body is.

I'm a girl and I'm athletic/thin by anyone's standards, but I have a long history of anorexia and my body image is terrible as a result. I can't wear any of the clothes my friends do when we go out because I feel so uncomfortable, which is embarassing to start with, but being at uni has made it worst. I'm in the early stages of a relationship and I can't even think about having sex with them because I feel like they'd just find me absolutely repulsive under the baggy clothes.

I can't think about having sex with anyone without knowing they could find someone thinner or more attractive to get with instead and it just completely overwhelms me to the point where I don't even think it's worth it.

Does anyone have any advice? Living like this is painful and years of counselling as well as being inpatient has done nothing to fix my body image issues so suggestions like that won't help. I just need input from other people because my friends just don't understand at all.

Reply 1

SeikoShinohara

Hi! I'm sorry that you feel this way, admittedly, I do not have much experience with body dysmorphia. However, I will try to help! Firstly, it might be a good idea to have an honest talk with your partner, you don't have to go into detail about your body dysmorphia but maybe just mention that you have it and it that you would appreciate it if they could do a little bit of research about it in their spare time, as this might help them to understand the disorder, and subsequently yourself, a bit better. If you're feeling anxious about having sex in the future then maybe explain to your partner that you would feel more confident about that prospect if certain conditions were met: safewords, incase you're overwhelmed or possibly having the lights off so that you feel less observed. I hope this helps, my ex-girlfriend was diagnosed with body dysmorphia years ago, and these things seemed to help her!