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Do you get fed up if you are not one of the good looking people

You don’t get laid or have girlfriends or is harder to have sex or get in relationships and women generally ignore you even though you are not ugly you are not physically attractive either anyone else relate?

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Reply 1
Oh yes, definitely, let me tell you. The main problem with girls is that they only tend to go for very specific types, whereas guys tend to show a bit more variability in who they like. The golden 80/20 rule confirms that 80% of women pursue top 20% of men, this means that a small number of men get most of female attention. This distribution is highly skewed and some people may think it's unfair, but that's what it is. If you don't look significantly more attractive then the rest of the male population you're gonna have a very hard time in dating and will consequently be ignored by most femanoids. If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough. That's the sad modern world that we live in unfortunately.
Reply 2
While it’s easy to feel a bit jealous of the lucky minority who have people falling at their feet, most people are not in this set. And although the very attractive play in a different league they also get a share of dating angst. You have to play the hand you’re dealt well rather than get fed up
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yes, definitely, let me tell you. The main problem with girls is that they only tend to go for very specific types, whereas guys tend to show a bit more variability in who they like. The golden 80/20 rule confirms that 80% of women pursue top 20% of men, this means that a small number of men get most of female attention. This distribution is highly skewed and some people may think it's unfair, but that's what it is. If you don't look significantly more attractive then the rest of the male population you're gonna have a very hard time in dating and will consequently be ignored by most femanoids. If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough. That's the sad modern world that we live in unfortunately.

No, men pretty much want to date models too from what I see. People find a compromise between what they would ideally like and who they can attract
Reply 4
Original post by Zarek
You have to play the hand you’re dealt well rather than get fed up


If you aren't someone who can bluff themselves to victory despite having nothing of substance, it's better to just fold when your chances of success are near-zero.
Reply 5
>be me
>not attractive
>lonely
>no friends
>no job, poor
>sad
>no motivation to do anything
>spend time on forums, youtube or tiktok distracting myself from my life
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yes, definitely, let me tell you. The main problem with girls is that they only tend to go for very specific types, whereas guys tend to show a bit more variability in who they like. The golden 80/20 rule confirms that 80% of women pursue top 20% of men, this means that a small number of men get most of female attention. This distribution is highly skewed and some people may think it's unfair, but that's what it is. If you don't look significantly more attractive then the rest of the male population you're gonna have a very hard time in dating and will consequently be ignored by most femanoids. If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough. That's the sad modern world that we live in unfortunately.

Not this rubbish again! A nice jawline will get you nowhere if you aren't an attractive personality...

I know lots of people in very happy long-term relationships and marriages and it's nothing to do with the men being in the 20% that you trot out every time as a reason/excuse for men being single. Then again, the women would say their man is in the top 0.1% :biggrin:
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 7
I can't resist a man with a beard
Reply 8
Original post by Surnia
Not this rubbish again! A nice jawline will get you nowhere if you aren't an attractive personality...

I know lots of people in very happy long-term relationships and marriages and it's nothing to do with the men being in the 20% that you trot out every time as a reason/excuse for nenveing single. Then again, the women would say their man is in the top 0.1% :biggrin:


the truth is nobody gives a **** about "personality" for a first impression, if you arent tall (or if you are below average height like me) and dont have a good build its game over
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
>be me
>not attractive
>lonely
>no friends
>no job, poor
>sad
>no motivation to do anything
>spend time on forums, youtube or tiktok distracting myself from my life


I'm sorry to hear, a lot of this used to be me and some still is. I know it can be difficult and there's others out there in a similar position. I would say definitely try for a job, even part time, something basic and something that others may pass over on so you can get in easier. Stuff where there is small amounts of people contact may be ideal just to be in touch with others if only for a small amount of time. It can really help you to feel better. While a few people can be problematic most in the whole are decent enough and some like you & me.

While I'm not a big fan of voluntary work a lot of easy voluntary work can be found in charity shops. They can help in terms of mixing with people a little and possible references, etc. After a few months doing perhaps just a few hours a week there you may be able to get some easy basic work somewhere. Doesn't have to be difficult work just something to get you out and about a bit and more I touch with society.

The stuff you mention as distractions is all very well I do it myself a bit but it's not a life. It can impact you more over time so it's better to try and start building a life now however minimal. Think small baby steps one at a time and you could be surprised how you could progress in just a short space of time. Try not to focus on what an immediate opportunity offers but in where you can progress from it. In 6 months to a year you could easily move from voluntary work to a basic job and then on to a better basic job but one you quite like.

Once you meet more people you'll find in general it will make you feel happier.
Original post by Anonymous
You don’t get laid or have girlfriends or is harder to have sex or get in relationships and women generally ignore you even though you are not ugly you are not physically attractive either anyone else relate?


I do absolutely 100 percent. As an everyday looking guy in theory there have been a few girls over many years I could have gotten with but they were unattractive to me and most likely most other guys. They were either overweight and/or unattractive looking or very difficult character to contemplate being with, i.e very bossy as in tries to order you around like a dog and so really getting your back up, etc. I only had the possible interest of some not so great girls over very many years. They just were often so unappealing to be around and I didn't want to risk having offspring like them.

All girls everyday average looking or better well sone used to give me the eye but I'm pretty positive they did that to many a guy partly to boost ego and partly to create a posse of guys from which they could choose. I don't think for one moment they were an easy pick up. Often the few I chatted too either had bf's already - most if not all of them, or didn't really seem open to talk if dating.

I'm pretty certain if I was above average looking or had above average social ability I would have easily had many gf's with ease without having to try. That basically jars me often that I just did not have that in life and so life can't deliver there like it does so easy with some guys.

I've seen that even everyday looking girls can be dismissive of me just because I fall a little short of the above average or better looking guy that they seek. On photofeeler I get around a 5/10 for looks, I'm 6ft tall, average build with a full crop of brown hair. So I avoid most of women's pet peeves but even still I'm not pretty enough etc for an easy in.

Then again, I am not so sure that women are that interested in a relationship in the UK unless it's with a guy in the top 20 percent all that kind of guy. I think many accept casual hook ups with those guys and have a career lifestyle to try and fulfill the best of both works as they see it. It probably looks desirable to being tied down to an everyday guy on a raise a family treadmill but I think it's a short term drug that will turn sour long term but by then it will be too late for them to change. I see it as pitiful state unfolding. The result of yet another idea of people trying for a better solution but the so called dream ending in tears and another failed approach to life. People thinking they have the ideal in hand and just not seeing the calamity if it all. Better to adjust the original system rather than trying a whole new fangled approach in my opinion.
Not being rude but just because you’re attractive it doesn’t make it any easier. I think this is a very immature comment.

It can have the oppositive affect. Often people don’t approach you because you are attractive or assume you are with someone. You also get a lot of crap from other people (such as yourself) or excluded from things because they don’t want to go out to events/clubbing with someone who is stereotypically attractive/gets attention. And the list goes on. So yes, it would be nice to assume that just because you are good looking, life is ten times easier but unfortunately it’s not.
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yes, definitely, let me tell you. The main problem with girls is that they only tend to go for very specific types, whereas guys tend to show a bit more variability in who they like. The golden 80/20 rule confirms that 80% of women pursue top 20% of men, this means that a small number of men get most of female attention. This distribution is highly skewed and some people may think it's unfair, but that's what it is. If you don't look significantly more attractive then the rest of the male population you're gonna have a very hard time in dating and will consequently be ignored by most femanoids. If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough. That's the sad modern world that we live in unfortunately.


No way bro said femanoids 💀💀💀
Original post by Anonymous
Not being rude but just because you’re attractive it doesn’t make it any easier. I think this is a very immature comment.

It can have the oppositive affect. Often people don’t approach you because you are attractive or assume you are with someone. You also get a lot of crap from other people (such as yourself) or excluded from things because they don’t want to go out to events/clubbing with someone who is stereotypically attractive/gets attention. And the list goes on. So yes, it would be nice to assume that just because you are good looking, life is ten times easier but unfortunately it’s not.


this is clapped, try being unattractive, its much worse
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yes, definitely, let me tell you. The main problem with girls is that they only tend to go for very specific types, whereas guys tend to show a bit more variability in who they like. The golden 80/20 rule confirms that 80% of women pursue top 20% of men, this means that a small number of men get most of female attention. This distribution is highly skewed and some people may think it's unfair, but that's what it is. If you don't look significantly more attractive then the rest of the male population you're gonna have a very hard time in dating and will consequently be ignored by most femanoids. If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough. That's the sad modern world that we live in unfortunately.

"If you are not born with a nice jawline or body structure, it's gonna be tough."

Sorry but I don't particularly agree with this statement, bit of a pleb move to pull the "woe is me" card without even trying. Whilst it is true that some are more gifted than others in the genetics race, this statement just sounds like you're just not willing to try. There's so many steps you can take:

- Fix up your diet
- Start going to the gym
- Socialise more to learn how to read cues (i.e up your chat game)
- Work towards your ambitions and be passionate about it.
- Learn how to approach women (this will differ depending on your intentions)
(and loads more)

Whilst this doesn't guarantee sex / situationship / girlfriend, your chances will DEFINITELY be a lot higher than if you were unmotivated, out of shape, unable to talk / flirt, etc. Just look at yourself in the mirror, would you want to date / have sex with you?
Original post by Anonymous
this is clapped, try being unattractive, its much worse

Anyone can be attractive at the end of the day and
everyone goes for different types. If you’re going to pull a pity party and keep blaming it on that, then I think there lies the problem.

Relationships are far more than just looks, you’ve got to have a connection and your personalities have to bounce off one another. Attraction can grow massively from both those factors. From how you’re talking, you have 0 experience and respect for people. Perhaps you should try to change your perspective and work on that, then you might see a shift in how people see you.
Original post by Anonymous
Anyone can be attractive at the end of the day and
everyone goes for different types. If you’re going to pull a pity party and keep blaming it on that, then I think there lies the problem.

Relationships are far more than just looks, you’ve got to have a connection and your personalities have to bounce off one another. Attraction can grow massively from both those factors. From how you’re talking, you have 0 experience and respect for people. Perhaps you should try to change your perspective and work on that, then you might see a shift in how people see you.


I disagree, I get the strong suspicion you are female :wink:

Attractive people get more concrete opportunities to get with others. They may be down sides as a poster said above but in general they get relationships way more easy at least to get into them. The more relationships they get into the more experienced they get at relationships.

That said it's not a slam dunk by just being attractive alone but it gets you in the ball court easy. These days a lot has descended into the Love Island type of scenarios. So even the more attractive find they are cheated upon by those who they felt dear too. While it can look amusing to the outsider it it probably very hurtful situation to be in for those who are cheated upon.

A lot of this is down to societal change, change what the values are of society, what is valued and you change how people value each other. I'm no fan of religion as I've never felt at home with all the waffle but it did come with societal conventions with which to follow. Those conventions have long since gone but I think dating and relationships have gotten a lot tougher due to having no real conventions anyone all agreed and abides by today. Back in the day in religious society you cheat on someone and you are shunned by the rest of the other gender, these days no one cares and a cheap excuse is normally sufficient to hook up with another and move on, then perhaps on again, and again...
You don't need to be good-looking to get laid. You only need to be able to establish a close relationship (with mutual attraction and respect) with one woman.
Original post by 1582
You don't need to be good-looking to get laid. You only need to be able to establish a close relationship (with mutual attraction and respect) with one woman.


Easier for a good looking person to establish that close relationship than a non good looking person. Most guys try to be 'nice' to get to that close relationship. It's pretty much always a non starter. Better to see if a close relationship might be established another way but usually that's not an easy one if possible at all. Bottom line is the girl or attractive person rates who they rate as worthy of getting with, everyone else is an outsider.
not the end of the worl - sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise. as a girl i think the stereotypically attractive guys tend to be rude and cocky bc they dont have to try. those who arent stereotypically attractive usually are quite nice and thus more attractive to us gals. lol.


(Original post by Anonymous)You don’t get laid or have girlfriends or is harder to have sex or get in relationships and women generally ignore you even though you are not ugly you are not physically attractive either anyone else relate?

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