She WONT leave him alone.

Me & my boyfriend have been together since January but in October he moved away to Uni. He comes back pretty much every weekend, so hasnt really been that bigger deal which is cool :smile:

However, last weekend, i went up to visit his halls for the first time. He had decorated his room and made it really homey which i thought was really cool, but there was one thing that really bugged me..

He had a three page letter (and an envelope COVERED in hearts) pinned up on the wall above his bed. When he went out of the room to go to the toilet, i read it and realised is was from his friend Sasha, back home.

He's very popular with the ladies, not because hes some huge stud (lol) but because hes really sweet, genuine, down to earth and good to go to for advice! And his 'girl friends' have never really bothered me, its just her.

Whenever i used to hang out with my bf and his mates, she'd constantly be all over my bf, giving me evils and generally making me feel uncomfortable. I had told my boyfriend this plenty of times, and he said he and some other people had actually noticed and just to ignore her. So thats what ive always done.

But this letter was not just a friendly letter. it contained phrases such as
'i love you'
'youre special'
'dont forget about me'
'hope you dream of me'
'i cant wait to come to uni and see you and spend some proper time together.. itll be so romantic.'

I just though WTF!!?
Somehow (i really dont know how) i managed to keep quiet about it the whole weekend, while deep down actually feeling really hurt and betrayed.
I confronted him about it a few days later.. and he kicked off, saying im jealous, insecure, being ridiculous, he can be friends with whoever he wants and its just her way of being friendly.

It doesnt help that shes stupidly gorgeous, skinny and just your average barbie doll. :frown:

The icing on the cake occured when i got my old phone back which id lent him because his had broken. I put my sim in the phone and there were LOADS of messages from her being stuuuupidly over friendly... calling him gorgeous, telling him she loves him and that she hopes hes dreaming of her. But the sent box only holds 10 items and they were all to me.. so i cant see any of what he sends to her.

Ohhh i just dunno guys! I guess just want some peoples opinions.... am i in the wrong to be feeling this way? Or are my feelings justified. help pllllllease :frown:

Reply 1

museobsessed

14

It sounds like your justified in thinking shes a .... *insert 4 letter word here* but I don't think you have a reason to be worried about your boyfriend. It doesn't sound like hes done anything wrong, keeping a letter you've been given isn't a big deal

Reply 2

Rokit

16

TBH She sounds a bit loopy and I seriously doubt your boyfriend would actually go there lest she boils his dog or something.

It sounds like he is purely keeping it for entertainment purposes

My first year at my first uni I received a love letter from a guy even though I had a boyfriend and he knew. I kept it for a few weeks however... in case I needed to present any information/evidence to the police

You have to try and distinguish a real threat to your relationship from a loopy lovesick girl

Reply 3

SuicideCommando

16

If he's always been close to her, you shouldn't feel jealous or threatened. He chose you, over her. Remember that. =)
x

Reply 4

LO :)

2

Your not being unreasonable.

If it were me I'd go directly to her and ask her what she thinks shes doing.

You dont say say things like "it will be so romantic" to a friend.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

I guess you guys are right. He's known her for 5 years or so, and me for just 1.

Maybe im being just sillyyyyyyyyyy.

Reply 6

Angrybanana

11

It sounds like he's enjoying the attention a little too much, as indicated by his pinning the letter up over the bed like a trophy. The point is do you trust your boyfriend? He says he can be friends with whoever he wants but this girl's behaviour is disrespectful of the fact that he's taken and if he cares about your feelings he should refuse to be friends with her unless she stops flirting.

Reply 7

bubbles_x

LO :)

Your not being unreasonable.

If I were you I'd go directly to her and ask her what she thinks shes doing.

He said to me "if youve got that much of an f ing problem... have a go at her not me!"

but i really dont see how thats gunna get anywhere. probs just shove her head a bit further up her ar*e

Reply 8

Howells

I don't think he has any right to say you're being insecure/jealous.
A friendly 'love you' is understandable between good friends, but hoping that he dreams of her is slightly mental patient-ish.
She seems slightly deranged to me.

Reply 9

MichaelG

12

Anonymous

I guess you guys are right. He's known her for 5 years or so, and me for just 1.

Maybe im being just sillyyyyyyyyyy.

yeah i mean think of it from the other girls point of view, maybe because your boyfriend is in love with you, its reduced the amount of time they had doing friends stuff and whatever...your boyfriend sounds sensible, i would trust him if i were you. you even said yourself he is a great guy to talk to, so i assume he would always be honest! :smile:

Reply 10

somnambulistic grace

tell her you know where she lives. muwahahaha.

Reply 11

LO :)

2

bubbles_x

He said to me "if youve got that much of an f ing problem... have a go at her not me!"

but i really dont see how thats gunna get anywhere. probs just shove her head a bit further up her ar*e

I'm not saying go and have a go at her though. I'd just say I'd seen the letter and some of what I read worried me and see what she had to say. I understand he's been friends with this girl for years which is fair enough, but some of those phrases are not really things you say to friends in my opinion.

Reply 12

brapboybrap

2

he is probably giving her some behind your back tbh. maybe you should offer him a threesome with her?

Reply 13

LO :)

2

brapboybrap

he is probably giving her some behind your back tbh. maybe you should offer him a threesome with her?

That was helpful :rolleyes:

Reply 14

brapboybrap

2

LO :)

That was truthful :rolleyes:

fixed for you. :smile:

Reply 15

linda helena

13

Howells

I don't think he has any right to say you're being insecure/jealous.
A friendly 'love you' is understandable between good friends, but hoping that he dreams of her is slightly mental patient-ish.
She seems slightly deranged to me.

Unless he's saying similar things to her as well...

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Thats the thingggggg.. i actually dont know what he says to her.
All ive got to go on is what she says to him.

Ohhhhhhhh this is so rubbish :frown:

Maybe a taste of his own medicne wud be adequate haha lol. I just wish he could understand what it looks/feels like from my point of view!

Reply 17

Antonia87

14

You're not being unreasonable. If another girl was asking my boyfriend to "dream of her", I'd be pretty p*ssed off actually.
And if he pinned the letter up on the wall, that would annoy me too. I mean really, what girlfriend wants to see that in her boyfriend's room? How would he like it if a guy sent you a letter which you later pinned up stating "i cant wait to see you again, it'll be so romantic"?? Pff. He's having a laugh.

Reply 18

flown_muse

15

Anonymous

Thats the thingggggg.. i actually dont know what he says to her.
All ive got to go on is what she says to him.

Ohhhhhhhh this is so rubbish :frown:

Maybe a taste of his own medicne wud be adequate haha lol. I just wish he could understand what it looks/feels like from my point of view!

You lost you anon further up the page, and someone quoted you too....

Reply 19

menaa-x

nope ur not being unreasonable, its just coz u care i guess..
try not to let it bug you, if you trust him enough to know that he wouldnt do anything then thats all gud but if you dont trust him all that much just try talkin to him about it on a level..

She WONT leave him alone.

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