how to text a tinder girl that ghosted you
i guess everyone will just say accept it as a loss and move on and that it would be weird and creepy to message her again... but i kinda want to shoot my shot one last time.
a year ago i matched this incredible korean girl on tinder and we got on really well and set up a first date.. but an hour before the date i cancelled because i wasn’t feeling well..
she understandably got quite annoyed given how short notice i gave she would have done all her makeup and outfit etc and especially cause it was her saturday night plans ruined as she declined going to some event with her friends that night that she wanted to go to but she said no to them so she could go on the first date with me, and now she had to sit at home herself cause i cancelled.
after this she understandably starting ghosting me and no longer was interested but i kept trying to rearrange but i had no luck.
usually i would never cancel like that but as i was leaving my house to walk to the station my head and body just felt like i was suddenly hit by a truck, which has never happened to me before.. turns out it was me getting Covid for the first time, so over the next week i became seriously sick and luckily i did cancel otherwise i would have infected her.
anyways after a couple weeks of her ghosting me she finally text back saying saying she’s been busy with her university coursework.
i was so excited by her replying that without thinking i immediately rushed back into things and i replied saying “no probs why don’t i come round your house and we watch a movie in bed instead of going out?” she never responded and that was the last message sent and it’s been almost a year now.
at the time i thought that was a nice message to send so she didn’t need to travel or do anything, but thinking back.. that was such an awful and extremely inappropriate message especially as it was first time talking after 2 weeks of her ghosting so i should have just taken things slow. plus i think i offended her from a cultural difference being an english guy it might not sound like a big deal to some of us but to a korean girl maybe it’s very offensive to say something like that as it sounded like i was inviting myself round to have sex with her.
anyway, it’s been a long time so i want to reach out and see if i can start fresh with her but now sure what to say. Any ideas? thanks
a year ago i matched this incredible korean girl on tinder and we got on really well and set up a first date.. but an hour before the date i cancelled because i wasn’t feeling well..
she understandably got quite annoyed given how short notice i gave she would have done all her makeup and outfit etc and especially cause it was her saturday night plans ruined as she declined going to some event with her friends that night that she wanted to go to but she said no to them so she could go on the first date with me, and now she had to sit at home herself cause i cancelled.
after this she understandably starting ghosting me and no longer was interested but i kept trying to rearrange but i had no luck.
usually i would never cancel like that but as i was leaving my house to walk to the station my head and body just felt like i was suddenly hit by a truck, which has never happened to me before.. turns out it was me getting Covid for the first time, so over the next week i became seriously sick and luckily i did cancel otherwise i would have infected her.
anyways after a couple weeks of her ghosting me she finally text back saying saying she’s been busy with her university coursework.
i was so excited by her replying that without thinking i immediately rushed back into things and i replied saying “no probs why don’t i come round your house and we watch a movie in bed instead of going out?” she never responded and that was the last message sent and it’s been almost a year now.
at the time i thought that was a nice message to send so she didn’t need to travel or do anything, but thinking back.. that was such an awful and extremely inappropriate message especially as it was first time talking after 2 weeks of her ghosting so i should have just taken things slow. plus i think i offended her from a cultural difference being an english guy it might not sound like a big deal to some of us but to a korean girl maybe it’s very offensive to say something like that as it sounded like i was inviting myself round to have sex with her.
anyway, it’s been a long time so i want to reach out and see if i can start fresh with her but now sure what to say. Any ideas? thanks
It’s. Been. A. Year.
You’ve messed her around twice, once by chance and once by fecklessness. It’s done. It was over a year ago. Treat her with a modicum of respect and move on.
You’ve messed her around twice, once by chance and once by fecklessness. It’s done. It was over a year ago. Treat her with a modicum of respect and move on.
Sorry man, but I think you've blown it.
From my experience, once a girl has decided (for whatever reason) that you're not worth knowing, it's an almost impossible task for you (or anyone) to convince her otherwise.
As Admit-One said, it's been a year and a lot has probably gone on in her life within that time... and realistically she's likely to have met other guys and been on dates etc. as well, so it's unlikely she'll even remember you... let alone be gagging to rekindle the fire.
Just take this as a lesson, and NEVER respond to a text of this nature when you're emotionally charged (don't worry though, what's done is done... I've made that mistake once myself, and I'm sure many others here have as well). Take (at least) a few minutes (and a few deep breaths) and think carefully about what you respond with and how you do it. Get someone else to proof read your message, if need-be; cause in this game, if you're lucky... and you screw up, you MIGHT get a second chance (as you did in this case), but you'll very rarely get a third.
Plenty of other girls out there, and it's clearly not happening with this one (the fact that it's been a year since last contact is clear evidence) ... so lick your wounds and move on.
From my experience, once a girl has decided (for whatever reason) that you're not worth knowing, it's an almost impossible task for you (or anyone) to convince her otherwise.
As Admit-One said, it's been a year and a lot has probably gone on in her life within that time... and realistically she's likely to have met other guys and been on dates etc. as well, so it's unlikely she'll even remember you... let alone be gagging to rekindle the fire.
Just take this as a lesson, and NEVER respond to a text of this nature when you're emotionally charged (don't worry though, what's done is done... I've made that mistake once myself, and I'm sure many others here have as well). Take (at least) a few minutes (and a few deep breaths) and think carefully about what you respond with and how you do it. Get someone else to proof read your message, if need-be; cause in this game, if you're lucky... and you screw up, you MIGHT get a second chance (as you did in this case), but you'll very rarely get a third.
Plenty of other girls out there, and it's clearly not happening with this one (the fact that it's been a year since last contact is clear evidence) ... so lick your wounds and move on.
(edited 1 year ago)
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