Hi, I have always known I am a bit weird. So I am opening up about it anonymously, to have some opinions on if I am autistic or not. If I was it would explain a lot.
- I really like Maths, genetics, pineapples (not eating them), drawing, and the game Undertale.
- I get really obsessed with my interests and they become my only conversation topic, I hate when people get fed up but have no idea what else to talk about
- I prefer bland foods. Beans on toast, tomato soup and cheese sandwiches are my go to meals, couldn’t stand meat so I became a vegetarian, really didn’t like the texture. Also I only eat Kinder brand chocolate, and Fruit pastel ice lollys.
-I talk very loud and fast and ramble so only people who know me well can keep up
-I Talk about the same topics and socialising is exhausting.
- I Don’t like wearing to skirts, or shorts. I only like wearing hoodies, shirts and joggers. This is partially for comfort but also because I am not particularly girly.
-I lack gender stability, I don’t really know what gender I am but I just get stressed trying to figure it out. I don’t really try to look like a girl or boy, shortened my normal name to a casual name. I thought I was agender but I am not sure if it is right. I shaved half of my head and gog a pixie a while back because my hair was a bit girly. Also I hated having styles in my hair, so it seemed easier. I like dying my hair fun colours though, makes me feel more like me.
-I hear random noises that some people don’t, I sometimes hear a high pitched buzz and no one else could hear it. Or I have to close a window because of birds tweeting. Also I see flys on the tv, and love finding easter eggs in movies and games. I love pointing them out.
-I am quite extraverted, but I still mask certain parts of my personality and if somebody says a funny thing I reuse it.
-I also stim without realising it, listening to Megalovania over and over. Breathing deeply a few times. Shaking my leg. Also I dance, and hoover.
-I also read a lot of books really quickly but characters reactions don’t make much sense. I get the story but I just don’t understand characters. When people are sad I just try to help them but I can never help enough and it freaks me out.
-I kind of think in a narrative, talking to myself but then can imagine pictures easily. I also love imagining things, drawing, and putting myself in adventure stories. When I try to write it down I can never put it into words.
-Also I am an adult in some ways, drinking tea and water when I go out. Enjoying scrabble and the news. Then in other ways I have meltdowns, and draw and dance for no reason.
-I set myself unrealistic expectations and want to be perfect, I can never achieve them and it makes me anxious.
-I am unco-ordinated, I can’t dance, I hold my pen in a fist and I bump into things.
-I am nerdy and like the learning side of school, not the social aspects as much.
If anyone reads this then thanks, I did ramble on a bit… I just feel different and it would be nice to have something explain all of this.