Generally what’s the reason if a guy keeps getting rejected between dates 1 and 4

Reasons given vary but the most common are “No real connection”, “we’re too different”, “very different lifestyles”, “want someone more romantic and with more relationship experience” “had a lovely time but not sure about another date just now” etc.

Reasons given vary but the most common are “No real connection”, “we’re too different”, “very different lifestyles”, “want someone more romantic and with more relationship experience” “had a lovely time but not sure about another date just now” etc.

Most likely they are desperate

Alright, let's get one thing straight... If he's getting dates etc. then the issue is definitely NOT his looks! If that were the case, then they wouldn't date him in the first place.


It's more likely, as they say, you're not connecting with them. Do you know how to talk to girls? When on dates, do you listen to whatever cr*p she's rabbiting on about and build on it... or are you thinking about what she looks like naked? Do you compliment her when you see her? Maybe she caught you looking down her cleavage too many times (a couple of discrete glances is OK, but if you're doing it all the time, she'll dismiss you along with every other creepy purvey guy she's had to put up with). On the other hand, if you play it too safe (e.g. no flirting, complements, limited body contact etc.) then she'll think you're not attracted to her.

What's contact like in between dates? Do you respond to her texts? Do you take too long to respond or do you bombard her with love notes? What are your social media posts like? Maybe they're being honest about their reasons?

Truth is, it could be many reasons, and I'm not saying it's any of the above... but I'm giving you a few things to think about



They are desperate?

Don't you mean he is coming across as desperate /needy? If they were desperate, then they would put up with bad dates just so they could have a man in their life, no?

Reasons given vary but the most common are “No real connection”, “we’re too different”, “very different lifestyles”, “want someone more romantic and with more relationship experience” “had a lovely time but not sure about another date just now” etc.

They probably realized that you're not a 'player' type. What do I mean by that? Well, girls tend to be attracted to guys that have had some experience with girls and they also like guys that are popular players who have f**ked many women in their lifetime. That's what they define as 'attractive'. If you're not a p***k or a bad man then you don't give them enough adrenaline and these femoids will find you boring.

They probably realized that you're not a 'player' type. What do I mean by that? Well, girls tend to be attracted to guys that have had some experience with girls and they also like guys that are popular players who have f**ked many women in their lifetime. That's what they define as 'attractive'. If you're not a p***k or a bad man then you don't give them enough adrenaline and these femoids will find you boring.

Sounds like maybe the guy is turning them off by not being smooth and charming. 🙃

How does a guy be smooth and charming?

do you think there’s a point asking for feedback?

do you think there’s a point asking for feedback?

Absolutely not.

As you have already found out, they're just going to give you generic responses... so as not to hurt your feelings or come across as "female-dogs". You haven't described how you come across / behave on dates... in fact, you've not attempted to answer the questions I put to you in my original post a fortnight ago.

It's really up to you to take some initiative in order to ascertain what you're doing wrong... I'm almost certain that you're either coming across as desperate / too keen; you're trying too hard, or just coming across as "creepy". However, I'm just speculating based on what you said, and my experience on dealing with others in your situation.

In absence of anything else to go on, I strongly suggest you watch a few episodes of that show Take Me Out, pay attention to the points where women are put off a guy and listen to their reasons, and see if any of them apply to you. If you do a simple Google search, there are plenty of full episodes you can watch for free.

The women you're approaching aren't there to be your relationship tutor.

Going on dates where theres no opportunity for attraction to develop in the build up. Asking for feedback isn’t great. It puts someone on the spot, it can be intangible and where it’s tangible it’s quite likely to be hurtful without possibly of improvement. And it adds to the humiliation of rejection by someone you barely know. Better to just pick up what you can