I can hardly understand why this is the case

Some peers who claimed to be autistic are actually extremely sociable, more so than those who are not and have never been diagnosed with autism.

I know this sounds very judgemental, but I don't think my observations are invalid simply because some folks are not willing to acknowledge it.

Reply 1

lamya_02

3

Firstly, autism is a spectrum. This means that it is a condition that is not restricted to a single set of values but can fluctuate across a continuum. A person with autism can present very differently than another autistic person. Secondly, being anti-social is not the defining feature of an autistic person. There is no defining feature. So, a person diagnosed with autism may indeed be "extremely sociable" while many others may not be. To add, unless you are a licensed psychiatrist (or someone in a similar field), you should not be commenting on whether you think someone may or may not be autistic based on your own observations. Let's leave that to the professionals. As a sidenote (which may or may not apply), many of the stereotypes believed about autism come from studies done on men; women tend to present very differently (i.e. friendly, outgoing). Lastly, please do not be ignorant or uncompassionate. Autistic people already have a difficult time integrating themselves into our neurotypical environment, so please do not make it harder for them by dismissing their condition.

As always, stay genuine.
~ lamya

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Autistic people can be extroverted yet struggle with social cues.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Autistic people can be extroverted yet struggle with social cues.

But those I referred to have lots of friends, more than me as a person who's never been diagnosed with anything of such. How do they get a large number of friends and be some kind of leads in social events if they don't "understand" social cues?

Reply 4

StriderHort

21

Unless you have detailed and ideally professional knowledge, then yeah sorry your opinion might as well be invalid here.

Reply 5

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

This is a bit like armchair diagnosing someone as being too able bodied to have a blue badge. You’re very welcome to hold any opinion you like but others can quite rightly point out that it’s judgemental and unqualified.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

But those I referred to have lots of friends, more than me as a person who's never been diagnosed with anything of such. How do they get a large number of friends and be some kind of leads in social events if they don't "understand" social cues?

It's already been explained, and extremely well, by @lamya_02 :congrats:

Autism is a spectrum and some people will struggle with social cues, some won't. There's no 'one size fits all' for autism, same as people say "I have asthma" and "I have eczema" when there are different types of each condition, with different triggers and symptoms. I have asthma, but people are then surprised that I can run long distances and don't use inhalers.

I have a family member with autism. It's been described as atypical as one trait is that it makes him very caring and empathetic, and he has always been so from a young age. He is intelligent, articulate, has friends and is involved in various hobbies and activities. He is still in education, struggles sometimes to concentrate and can get a bit overwhelmed, but recognises this himself and knows how to respond. If you spent some time in his company you wouldn't go 'oh, he's autistic' unless you knew what to look for...

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by StriderHort

Unless you have detailed and ideally professional knowledge, then yeah sorry your opinion might as well be invalid here.

And you realise doctor misdiagnosis happens all the time? Sounds like fallacy of appealing to authority

Reply 8

shirokuro3

15

autistic people can have many friends, especially when said friends are also autistic or some kind of neurodivergent. so not sure why you're making these assumptions

Reply 9

StriderHort

21

Original post by Anonymous

And you realise doctor misdiagnosis happens all the time? Sounds like fallacy of appealing to authority

Don't talk mince :tongue:

a doctor making a mistake doesn't make ignorant people more credible, You've already made it starkly clear you have considerable misunderstandings about autism so yea you're allowed to have an opinion, but it's effectively worthless, just like no one cares what my uninformed opinions on brain surgery are beyond 'sounds scary'.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by StriderHort

Don't talk mince :tongue:

a doctor making a mistake doesn't make ignorant people more credible, You've already made it starkly clear you have considerable misunderstandings about autism so yea you're allowed to have an opinion, but it's effectively worthless, just like no one cares what my uninformed opinions on brain surgery are beyond 'sounds scary'.

Yeah, rather than convince others with facts and reason, you resort to personal attacks. What a respectful manner. Keep it up!

Reply 11

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, rather than convince others with facts and reason, you resort to personal attacks. What a respectful manner. Keep it up!

What are we supposed to be reasoning with? In your first post you admitted that you sounded "very judgmental" and most of the replies agreed with that.

Reply 12

StriderHort

21

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, rather than convince others with facts and reason, you resort to personal attacks. What a respectful manner. Keep it up!

I don't think you understand what a personal attack is. I attacked your opinion, not the anon greyscale NPC profile you are hiding behind.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by StriderHort

I don't think you understand what a personal attack is. I attacked your opinion, not the anon greyscale NPC profile you are hiding behind.

How do I not understand? Would you enlighten me?

Reply 14

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

How do I not understand? Would you enlighten me?

You accused someone of making a personal attack when they didn’t. Glad I could help.

Reply 15

inquisitiveguy

6

Autism can make people less aware of societal standards and so less embarrassed to be outgoing.

Thus some people with autism have no issue talking to new people and making friends because they don’t understand that they’re ’supposed’ to be embarrassed or shy.

Reply 16

Jess_Lomas

17

First of all do you mean that the ones that aren't diagnoised you think are autistic or are just quieter.
There is also masking which happens a lot with autistic people where they try and fit and and seem outgoing but you don't see the amount of preparation or the recovery afterwards
Also there are autistic people who are very social and just struggle with the social cues but want friends and are happy to go up to people others aren't but are still autistic
Depending when diagnoised also some might have had more early intervention and have support methods to aid with this
I hardly ever spoke in the whole of high school and sixth form but now at uni I have people that I talk to a lot, this is A as they are also autistic or have other autistic friends and don't make fun of me if the words come out in the wrong order or miss social cues so I feel confident and supported around them
As well I was told a lot as a child that I was doing it wrong but being able to accept myself has also made me more confident as I don't want friends that would make fun of me and if I'm being authentic then I'll make better friends but this has taken 19 years to come to terms with

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Jess_Lomas

First of all do you mean that the ones that aren't diagnoised you think are autistic or are just quieter.
There is also masking which happens a lot with autistic people where they try and fit and and seem outgoing but you don't see the amount of preparation or the recovery afterwards
Also there are autistic people who are very social and just struggle with the social cues but want friends and are happy to go up to people others aren't but are still autistic
Depending when diagnoised also some might have had more early intervention and have support methods to aid with this
I hardly ever spoke in the whole of high school and sixth form but now at uni I have people that I talk to a lot, this is A as they are also autistic or have other autistic friends and don't make fun of me if the words come out in the wrong order or miss social cues so I feel confident and supported around them
As well I was told a lot as a child that I was doing it wrong but being able to accept myself has also made me more confident as I don't want friends that would make fun of me and if I'm being authentic then I'll make better friends but this has taken 19 years to come to terms with