Did I put them off?

I had a crush on someone, and I thought they liked me. We drifted apart and now they're into someone else who is more confident and outgoingI am a shy/awkward person and I think that's what put them off.I've always been shy and it has destroyed my life. I've tried so hard to not be shy like going to university, becoming student rep... I can't change the way I am.It really hurts seeing them two together :frown:

My late mom loved and accepted my dad who's also a shy person...I can't be someone I'm not.I am a kind, nice, trustworthy, loyal person. I'll never let anyone down, I'd be grateful to be in someones presence who just liked me for me I can't become someone I'm notDid I put them off?

Reply 1

username6255808

8

You didn't put them, time can make people drift apart. You will find someone who is very accepting on who you are.

It took me a while to find that someone as well, but you will find someone.

Reply 2

osasman

17

Original post by R02022

I had a crush on someone, and I thought they liked me. We drifted apart and now they're into someone else who is more confident and outgoingI am a shy/awkward person and I think that's what put them off.I've always been shy and it has destroyed my life. I've tried so hard to not be shy like going to university, becoming student rep... I can't change the way I am.It really hurts seeing them two together :frown:

My late mom loved and accepted my dad who's also a shy person...I can't be someone I'm not.I am a kind, nice, trustworthy, loyal person. I'll never let anyone down, I'd be grateful to be in someones presence who just liked me for me I can't become someone I'm notDid I put them off?

I'd say your dad was one lucky sonofa to be able to pull a woman as a shy guy. Is she (your mum) pretty at all? Is, or was, she a hottie back in the day?

I ask because most women, especially those blessed with looks and/or a hot body, usually don't go for shy and/or awkward guys. They want a confident man who knows what he wants and takes charge while being sensitive to their ladies' wants and needs. Some can handle shy, in fact, they can find it kind of cute, but awkward is a no-no.

Dudes on the other hand usually find shy, even awkward girls, cute. It brings out the paternal instincts in us and we want to provide for and protect them. It makes us feel needed and gives us a sense of achievement when we finally tease them out of their shells and get them to be more confident and expressive, especially around us.

In conclusion, I will add that a shy, awkward guy also evokes maternal instincts and feelings in a woman, as he exudes a need for protection and nurturing, the way the runt of a litter of puppies (or any other mammal) makes the mother dog want to care for him even more. But after some time, the girl usually leaves the guy as she is not there to be his mum. She feels like they have swapped places and he is meant to be the one offering protection and a sense of safety, not her, and eventually, he loses her. Even the mother dog often eventually abandons the runt. It's too much of a hassle.

I believe you put her off, assuming you are a dude.

Did I put them off?

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