The Student Room Group

How best to approach

Is it too old school to drop a girl a note asking her if she s open to chatting? I only see her once a week and she keeps herself to herself but we have exchanged glances etc. She does have a close friend who i could approach but there both strangers really. Its difficult to build a rapport with her as i dont see her iften enough abd when i do its too busy and she seems like an introvert anyways.

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Just be direct and go for it! No point just being there and nothing happening.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #2
Just be direct and go for it! No point just being there and nothing happening.

Yes it all sounds very easy and logical but when your on public transport in criwded busy areas its hard to start convos with introverted girls. Everytime i see her and her friend talking they whisper becahse there introverted and shy
Original post by Anonymous #1
Is it too old school to drop a girl a note asking her if she s open to chatting? I only see her once a week and she keeps herself to herself but we have exchanged glances etc. She does have a close friend who i could approach but there both strangers really. Its difficult to build a rapport with her as i dont see her iften enough abd when i do its too busy and she seems like an introvert anyways.

being an introvert isnt a bad thing.. js shoot ur shot! this is so cheesy but its necessary rn : YOLO !!
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous #3
being an introvert isnt a bad thing.. js shoot ur shot! this is so cheesy but its necessary rn : YOLO !!

Is approaching her friend a good option?
Reply 5
Try a smile and hello first and see if you can move to some conversation from there. Notes and speaking to friends seldom work and are embarrassing if they don’t
Original post by Anonymous #1
Is approaching her friend a good option?

This can give a wrong sign, so no
Just go over and say hello, its not that hard. People are facing so much more difficulties in their daily lives and you can't even muster up the confidence to say hello to someone, come on man what are you doing
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous #2
Just go over and say hello, its not that hard. People are facing so much more difficulties in their daily lives and you can't even muster up the confidence to say hello to someone, come on man what are you doing

Yes it sounds very easy but when your surrounded by around 30 people all minding their own business its a bit more difficult especially for introverted people. Things can become awkward very quickly
Original post by Anonymous #1
Yes it sounds very easy but when your surrounded by around 30 people all minding their own business its a bit more difficult especially for introverted people. Things can become awkward very quickly

Well its either that or....you do nothing and nothing happens, so you decide.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous #2
Well its either that or....you do nothing and nothing happens, so you decide.

yh i know but it just isnt happending for me an opportunity is not presenting itself as i only see her once a week so im stuck hence why im thinking of just sending a note or approaching her friend if it isnt working.
Then create an opportunity, things aren't going to just fall into place just like that if you do nothing.
Original post by Anonymous #1
yh i know but it just isnt happending for me an opportunity is not presenting itself as i only see her once a week so im stuck hence why im thinking of just sending a note or approaching her friend if it isnt working.

In your life whenever you've been presented with something that you wanted to do, but didn't know how, what did you do?
Ask for advice from a professional in that area? Read a "how to" book? Watch guidance videos? Plunge right ahead and try what you thought would work and then learn from that?

Why should you approaching someone you're attracted to be any different?
Use whatever learning methods have worked well for you in the past.

If you knew how to approach well, would that remove 90% of your hesitation in this area?
Reply 13
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
In your life whenever you've been presented with something that you wanted to do, but didn't know how, what did you do?
Ask for advice from a professional in that area? Read a "how to" book? Watch guidance videos? Plunge right ahead and try what you thought would work and then learn from that?

Why should you approaching someone you're attracted to be any different?
Use whatever learning methods have worked well for you in the past.

If you knew how to approach well, would that remove 90% of your hesitation in this area?

Ive tried all of them to pick up tips but when it comes to applying it its a lot more difficult. Things are not going to fall into place but if i approach her at the wrong time or in the wrong way then ive blown my chance hency why its so difficult because i have approached woman before in similar cases in the wrong way or gone straight in for a convo and blown my chances.
In the same way, if you don't approach at all or do anything, then there will be no results. So isn't it better to do something even the smallest thing that does bring about something no matter how small a result it is.
Thats how we learn isn't it? We actually do things and test out what works and if it doesn't then we try something else. We wouldn't try something and then it doesn't work or produce any results for the time and then we give up right?
If someone is interested then even a hamfisted or awkward approach is going to get a positive response.

If someone is not interested then there is no magic technique that is going to sweep them off their feet and you have your answer, even if it's not the one you hoped for.

Rather than looking for a way to make it a romantic approach from the outset, (and unless I'm missing something, you've literally just exchanged glances with them), just make conversation.
Reply 17
Original post by Admit-One
If someone is interested then even a hamfisted or awkward approach is going to get a positive response.

If someone is not interested then there is no magic technique that is going to sweep them off their feet and you have your answer, even if it's not the one you hoped for.

Rather than looking for a way to make it a romantic approach from the outset, (and unless I'm missing something, you've literally just exchanged glances with them), just make conversation.

Thats the thing - if she isnt interested and i approach her in front of all these peoole (people who i see regularly) then its going to be embarassing for both of us.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Ive tried all of them to pick up tips but when it comes to applying it its a lot more difficult. Things are not going to fall into place but if i approach her at the wrong time or in the wrong way then ive blown my chance hency why its so difficult because i have approached woman before in similar cases in the wrong way or gone straight in for a convo and blown my chances.

What sort of success vs failure rate are we looking at for you? When it comes to you breaking the ice with women?

What pick up tricks are you referring to?
Reply 19
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
What sort of success vs failure rate are we looking at for you? When it comes to you breaking the ice with women?

What pick up tricks are you referring to?

Some ive approached myself and some have approached me. Generally when i break the ice with girls i see regularly they respond with a shy smile but ive only ever done this when its not too busy.

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