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Am I horrible for wanting to leave this friendship?

My childhood friend and I have grown apart lately. We went to different unis but I do still try to stay in touch. I’ve noticed it has been mostly me initiating contact and asking to meet. On the few times that she has initiated, there have been times where she has not followed through with her plans. For example, she asked to meet two months in advance and she said she chose that day because there was nothing written in her diary. The day arrived and I was looking forward to seeing her, but in the morning she cancelled saying she didn’t realise she had something that day. I asked to rearrange but she did not respond until a month later. Accepting we weren’t going to meet in person, I suggested we catch up over the phone, she told me when she’d be free the next day, and when the time came, she messaged saying that she would call me in 5 mins as she was just finishing off something. Fair enough so I waited. I wasn’t expecting exactly 5 mins of course, maybe 15 mins max. But after this I gave up and continued with my day and she didn’t call until 2 hours later. I understand that friendships drift over time, but I wish she’d have been honest rather than wasting my time. She didn’t have to ask to make plans only to not follow through. And I know people are busy, I have other friends and a busy job too, but always make time for friends, especially if I was the one who suggested we meet/catch up. It’s just a bit frustrating how this has happened multiple times. I don’t want to force a friendship but I don’t want to look bad by walking away and moving on from our friendship.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
My childhood friend and I have grown apart lately. We went to different unis but I do still try to stay in touch. I’ve noticed it has been mostly me initiating contact and asking to meet. On the few times that she has initiated, there have been times where she has not followed through with her plans. For example, she asked to meet two months in advance and she said she chose that day because there was nothing written in her diary. The day arrived and I was looking forward to seeing her, but in the morning she cancelled saying she didn’t realise she had something that day. I asked to rearrange but she did not respond until a month later. Accepting we weren’t going to meet in person, I suggested we catch up over the phone, she told me when she’d be free the next day, and when the time came, she messaged saying that she would call me in 5 mins as she was just finishing off something. Fair enough so I waited. I wasn’t expecting exactly 5 mins of course, maybe 15 mins max. But after this I gave up and continued with my day and she didn’t call until 2 hours later. I understand that friendships drift over time, but I wish she’d have been honest rather than wasting my time. She didn’t have to ask to make plans only to not follow through. And I know people are busy, I have other friends and a busy job too, but always make time for friends, especially if I was the one who suggested we meet/catch up. It’s just a bit frustrating how this has happened multiple times. I don’t want to force a friendship but I don’t want to look bad by walking away and moving on from our friendship.

Hi!

Have you tried talking to her about this and telling her how you feel? If you have or haven’t there is always time to make for friends and she probably just didn’t have the care to reach out or prefers doing other things which is not your fault. Yes friendships can drift apart but if you’re the one being consistent with efforts in trying to make it work and she isn’t then I think that is okay to let go of that person and you might end up talking to each other again in the future but don’t waste time on people who aren’t willing to pour into your cup.

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