Long distance relationship help

Hey, I was looking for some advice regarding LDR.

I have been dating this person for over 9 months during my second year at uni. A few months ago I found out they received an internship offer at an international firm. In a few weeks I will be starting my year abroad and they will be going straight to final year. We agreed to give LDR a shot which I was very happy about. It has been over 2 months since we have done LDR, the first month was fine. However recently I feel less important to them I know internships can be demanding and finding the time to reply to my messages may be difficult. It doesn't help that the time zones are 8 hours apart and it is too expensive for me to travel and visit them.

At the start of LDR their responses were very sweet and frequent (daily), we also used to say good night/morning to each other. Now the messages are more blunt and I feel as if I am putting in more effort than them. Their responses can sometimes take from a few hours to a whole day or two days.

What tipped me over the edge was this week when I asked when they were going to visit me during my study abroad. They did not reply for three days and I could see they were active on the platform. Prior to this message I sent, the one before took two days for them to reply. I get having an internship may cause you to have a busier schedule but surely it doesn't take long to reply to a message? So I decided to confront them, telling them I felt distant from them due to the lack of communication. I also stated again that I wanted to know when I would see them next at my new university (which is a 1-hour flight away).

Their response was faster, but again blunt, no sorry for not responding so late (which I thought was weird). However, I did arrange a time for us to call tomorrow.

I am quite nervous about this call and have been an emotional wreck all day thinking about this. The thing is I do actually love this person (I have never revealed this to them) and losing them will destroy me. Tomorrow I think I will propose an ultimatum, saying the communication needs to get better (i.e., at least one facetime a week) and I want to know when they are going to see me next. If all goes wrong I think I will have to break up with them as I need more reassurance within a relationship to stay.

Is this too unreasonable for what I am asking for? I feel guilty for bringing this up to them, as I know their internship is stressful but this issue has been bothering me for a while. I am hopeful we should be able to sort this out, as I have confronted them in the past about other issues that have been resolved. I am just scared of what will happen tomorrow.

Thank you for your help, it really means a lot. If anyone else has had similar problems I would appreciate hearing about your experience!

Hey,

I've never been a relationship let alone a LDR... so you can ignore this message

BUT..

I've given so much advice to my friends who have been in LDR's so perhaps I can shed a light on what I think on this...

1. don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. it's completely understandable. (yes considering their doing an internship you might feel like oh maybe it shouldn't be me me me and more so let them get on with what's important atm for them -- the internship)

2. BUT making your feelings known is great communication (which A LOT of relationships lack and that's when everything starts breaking down) i would assume their bluntness is from being overworked during their internship but considering that they've been online and ignored you for 3 whole days idk ... it seems like their ignoring you on purpose and not wanting to communicate whatsoever (to put it bluntly as much as it's not what you want to hear)

3. a facetime call a week is reasonable -- everyone has priorities but making time for your partner (which THEY have also decided into entering a partnership with WILLINGLY) is essential

4. be open, ask questions on how they're feeling about this LDR... their internship... it almost sounds like you're more invested into the relationship than them... so what's the point of wasting your time... emotions ect on someone who doesn't replicate the same love back

I may have been a tad bit too blunt but hey hope this helps... if it's made you feel worse FML haha aaa

Hey thanks so much for your response! Your advice was pretty much spot on especially 2. They actually ended things with me today, as they could not put up with with lack of physical presence. Bit rubbish but I have accepted this and ready to move on! Thanks so much again for taking the time to write this