need help - taiwanese dating culture

hey

im at university going into my 2nd year. i met my boyfriend who is going into his 1st year from foundation at our uni.

he is taiwanese and i am british. (we r gay fyi) we have been dating since mid december and we have been very happy since. so happy and healthy with one another that i have gone to taiwan to meet his family. (which is a big step i hope everyone can appreciate 😭)

the issue im having is understanding taiwanese dating culture and trying to grasp as to whether this is a “taiwanese dating culture” issue. i recently caught him directly messaging his ex-bf (secretly) from mainland China on Douyin (chinese tiktok) and found some s*xual messages such as “Do you want to come to China?” “Where will I stay?” “Will you wear a condom?” But he claims it’s how Taiwanese men joke with each other ! If anyone knows how Chinese-Taiwanese guys act as mates tell me? And should they even be taking? Feeling weird

I just don’t know what to do and I’m in Taiwan for a lot more days and feel very numb and not sure how to respond to this issue. Any help and advice?

boosting

boosting . any1?

My source for this: I've spent years in China and (whilst straight myself) have had quite a few lesbian/gay Chinese friends "because you English don't think we're doing anything wrong".

Two possibilities:

1. There's something going on (and this is what you're afraid of)...

BUT... far more likely

2. There's some kind of trauma bond/trust between them still and they are talking things through. Certainly the Chinese are a lot more direct about some things (I'm a rugby player... I used to get "pinched" to check it was muscle not fat by older women on buses in China, and have had total strangers pose for selfies and stare into/at my "foreign blue eyes" when away from the big cities. So it may scan that they're just being open and honest, and have an odd sense of directness when watching out for each other (as a straight guy, going out drinking with a Chinese lesbian in a Chinese nightclub was absolutely shocking, she'd say things that'd probably get you tasered here!)