I need advice about my toxic Sister!

My name is Viv ( Not my real name, just in case Kat finds this) and let me tell you my 'sister' is literally the most toxic person i have ever met. And its worse because I live with her.

Since I could remember, my other sisters and I would be beg our parents to take us shopping with them. But since there is like 5 daughters they would say no and leave is alone with the oldest sister, lets call her Kat.

Once our parents left she would hit us with a wooden spoon on the hand if we made a single noise ( it was pretty light hits but me being 6 would think it was REALLY hard). We would tell our parents but the cycle would continue the next week.

As the years went by, Kat kind of isolated herself into her room and would only come out to eat, use the toilet etc. This is where most of my fondest memories were. Then in 2018, Kat left for China and didn't come back until early 2019. During this time, my Sisters and I became our own people. We enjoyed K-dramas and playing outside and basically having a good childhood.

When Kat returned in 2019, our lives went down hill. Even though Pre-China-Kat was was pretty chill and was a good person (despite the drastic mood changes) the person that came back home was different.

Kat became really evil, she would mock my two sisters, that have a learning disability, for not being able to do certain things. She also stopped us from acting our age, we aren't allowed to say slang and watch things that were over G Rated. So we still watch things for kids 7-10 years old even though we're 14-16. Even to this day.

It's no help either that our Mother has a impairment in which she can't drive or see things properly, this makes Kat our only way from and to school which is around 30-40 mins away. This way, Kat keep power within the family.

We have an older Brother, lets call him Ben. But Kat acts like a total saint near him, even though Ben knows what's going on, he wants to keep the peace in the household. At times, Kat gets called out for her actions which leaves us without a ride to school so we basically just move on and get into her car.

I know my life may sound bad, but there are times where Kat is a good person it's just that it feels like a gamble when i talk to her. Is she happy Kat or Angry Kat?

I'm planning to study in South Korea during University but there is an issue. Kat went to South Korea for a holiday so therefore NO ONE IN MY FAMILY IS ALLOWED TO GO, IF THEY DO THEY ARE COPYING. So basically China, Korea or any place Kat expressed interest in is a big no-no.

I want to go and live for myself for once, experience new things and break from the chains she placed but I'm scared to lose her. There were times where she let me cry on her shoulders and picked me up when I'm down. But there were times where she made me feel like I should die. Now I don't know what to do, should I follow my passion and study abroad or follow what Kat wants me to do. Also, do you guys have any advice in cutting her out of my life, and regain control in my life?

I know i made a lot of excuses for her action here but she's a big joke in our family since she like 'The girl who worked aboard and is now the almost-30-year-old who sleep on the coach'. So I'm kind of being a bit dramatic, but my life isn't all bad, I still smile, have a roof over my head and a loving supportive family in which I love soo dearly (except Kat).

Reply 1

Sorcerer's Storm

I’m sorry to hear you’re living with such a toxic person, but I’m not really sure what you can do other than wait till you’re financially independent and then move out.

And you should definitely study abroad in Korea, it sounds like it’s your passion. Who cares what Kat thinks or even if everyone else thinks you’re copying; she doesn’t own the country and loads of people are interested in Korea. I think if you don’t later you might regret not going for such a “silly” reason, and you’ll also be away from Kat which will be a bonus.

Reply 2

Victor7777

My sister is also out of control. She’s extremely rude to everyone, just like yours, although she does not get physical, likely because she would get beaten in return if she tried to attack anyone. She keeps to herself and never comes out of her room unless it is to eat, and even then, she is not thankful.

We go to the same university, and she constantly asks me for help for projects or exams, except her idea of help is me doing everything for her. “I don’t get it, just do it for me” over and over again.

Today, I was sitting down at my computer to do an exam, when I noticed that she had opened a word document, copying my exact answers (and reformulating a few of the others) and sent it to our professor a few days after I sent mine. All she really changed was the name on the paper.

Naturally, I was unhappy, but most of all I was stressed. In my university, plagiarism leads to expulsion from the university. I’ve still got two more years to go, and I’m scared that this is my end.

I went to see her, and I told her that she copied my answers, and she started screaming (what the **** do you mean, oh my god, etc.) so I went back to my computer and just printed both my paper and my sister’s, sat down my parents and we analysed it together.

My mom went to speak to her, and she basically got kicked out of my sister’s room. Now she won’t talk to anyone. She recently left for a drive, god knows where, and came back to go straight to her room and watch anime.

There’s still so much more drama, but Christ, I don’t know what to do. I just want to graduate as quickly as possible and get far away from this person. I pity my parents for having to put up with her.

What is wrong with my sister? I think she might be mentally handicapped, but it makes me depressed to think of her. When my friends ask me if I have a sister, I tell them that I’m a lone child, and I refuse to let anyone come over, for fear that they will discover her existence. I am very ashamed of my sister and I wish she could disappear from my life forever.