Do i have any chance with her or should i give it up

Met a girl a couple of weeks ago while driving around the city at night with my friends and we started hanging out after. One day we got really high together and both confessed we’d liked eachother basically since we’d met. (i did ask the next morning whether or not it was just the weed talking but she was adamant she did have those feelings)

Problem is i am quite socially awakward due to being coddled as a kid and struggle a lot with holding conversation, especially to girls. Im fine in a group because i can jump in and out of the conversation and let them talk while i think, but in a 1 on 1 conversation in the time i need to think of what to say i can like feel the awkwardness seeping in which makes me overthink. Then it takes even longer and it just repeats in a vicious cycle which is usually broken by me mumbling a half baked attempt at talking to her. But we do have a few good conversations so its not *unbearable* i just struggle a bit. So everytime we meet it is generally pretty awkward but we get through the silences and i think we have a good time when we hang out (she keeps asking to hang out so i must be doing something right🤷*♂️)

After dating for a few days though we fell out over a mutual friend and she broke things off and suggested we go back to being friends. Right now we’re basically back at square one.

If this is a lost cause please just tell me. i will be able to put my feelings away and just be friends if i have to, i just need to hear from someone that she doesnt want me lmao. I just see little like glimmers sometimes which make me think maybe there is a chance. Like when its just us she always seems to want to be physically close to me, and she actually puts the effort in to talk to me and hang out even when she knows its gonna be awkward. I just dont see why she’d put in all this effort just to be my friend. Shes popular and knows p much everyone in town our age so i dont see why she tries so hard specifically with me when she could scroll down her texts or insta, pick any guy and have a normal non-awkward day out.

Reply 1

Muttly

20

Yes it is a lost cause

You are naive - You have something she wants, and it is not your personality. If you have money she will probably want it, or just want you for sex when it is convenient

Other than that you probably have no value to her. I would stay away and try and reach out to a new friend group even if that means travelling to a new town. Find out about life generally that is your first goal. Get to know yourself first, likes, dislikes, and how the world works. Then you can talk to others with both knowledge and experience and feel more confident.

Reply 2

DataVenia

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Anonymous

Met a girl a couple of weeks ago while driving around the city at night with my friends and we started hanging out after. One day we got really high together and both confessed we’d liked eachother basically since we’d met. (i did ask the next morning whether or not it was just the weed talking but she was adamant she did have those feelings)

Problem is i am quite socially awakward due to being coddled as a kid and struggle a lot with holding conversation, especially to girls. Im fine in a group because i can jump in and out of the conversation and let them talk while i think, but in a 1 on 1 conversation in the time i need to think of what to say i can like feel the awkwardness seeping in which makes me overthink. Then it takes even longer and it just repeats in a vicious cycle which is usually broken by me mumbling a half baked attempt at talking to her. But we do have a few good conversations so its not *unbearable* i just struggle a bit. So everytime we meet it is generally pretty awkward but we get through the silences and i think we have a good time when we hang out (she keeps asking to hang out so i must be doing something right🤷*♂️)

After dating for a few days though we fell out over a mutual friend and she broke things off and suggested we go back to being friends. Right now we’re basically back at square one.

If this is a lost cause please just tell me. i will be able to put my feelings away and just be friends if i have to, i just need to hear from someone that she doesnt want me lmao. I just see little like glimmers sometimes which make me think maybe there is a chance. Like when its just us she always seems to want to be physically close to me, and she actually puts the effort in to talk to me and hang out even when she knows its gonna be awkward. I just dont see why she’d put in all this effort just to be my friend. Shes popular and knows p much everyone in town our age so i dont see why she tries so hard specifically with me when she could scroll down her texts or insta, pick any guy and have a normal non-awkward day out.

@Muttly's advice seems a tad extreme to me ("stay away" / "reach out to a new friend group" / "travelling to a new town").

I would suggest that you continue to spend time with her, as you'll likely find that familiarity makes the awkwardness subside. As you become better able to have conversations with her which are not "generally pretty awkward" you might find that your naturally drift closer together and pick-up where you left off (if you can reconcile your differences over the mutual friend). If not, at least you'll have had some decent practice at one-on-one conversations, meaning that you'll be in a better position when you meet someone else.