My boyfriend is acting a bit odd, help me please :(

Hi, me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship since January and we are pretty much in love. Prior to me he had a gf of almost 2 years but she ended up leaving him due to her parents not accepting him, he told me he was broken and was very sad about it and i tried my best to cheer him up, i was by his side until few weeks after he started flirting with him and being very nice and always appreciated me for who i am as i helped him realise that she never loved him if she left. We got into a relationship only 2 months after his breakup and i just couldnt understand how he could forget her so easily, i broke up with my ex of 1 yr and it took me 6 months before i started feeling better and i was single during this time trying to heal. My now boyfriend used to send me many poems and as we live 3 hours away from each other he visited me for 3 days and had to go back due to work. Something odd was that not long after we started to get to know each other he was very ho*ny and we would have dirty talks a lot of the times and i was fine with it, he told his family about us and i spoke to his mother and siblings many times. Now something changed as he got another job he is always tired and drained and barely gives me the attention and time he used to give me before and it’s making me upset, few days ago he confessed that he still is hurt by his ex and many things remind him of her which frustrates him a lot and that this pain will stay with him until the day he passes, this somehow made me so insecure because he always says he loves me madly and i was all he thinks about. When i even mentioned anything about his ex he feels uncomfortable and gets panic attacks which makes me thing he does still have feelings for her :frown:

. Now he barely sends me any poems or is too busy and doesnt have enough money to visit me. I feel so broken by this, any advice?

break up and move on

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship since January and we are pretty much in love. Prior to me he had a gf of almost 2 years but she ended up leaving him due to her parents not accepting him, he told me he was broken and was very sad about it and i tried my best to cheer him up, i was by his side until few weeks after he started flirting with him and being very nice and always appreciated me for who i am as i helped him realise that she never loved him if she left. We got into a relationship only 2 months after his breakup and i just couldnt understand how he could forget her so easily, i broke up with my ex of 1 yr and it took me 6 months before i started feeling better and i was single during this time trying to heal. My now boyfriend used to send me many poems and as we live 3 hours away from each other he visited me for 3 days and had to go back due to work. Something odd was that not long after we started to get to know each other he was very ho*ny and we would have dirty talks a lot of the times and i was fine with it, he told his family about us and i spoke to his mother and siblings many times. Now something changed as he got another job he is always tired and drained and barely gives me the attention and time he used to give me before and it’s making me upset, few days ago he confessed that he still is hurt by his ex and many things remind him of her which frustrates him a lot and that this pain will stay with him until the day he passes, this somehow made me so insecure because he always says he loves me madly and i was all he thinks about. When i even mentioned anything about his ex he feels uncomfortable and gets panic attacks which makes me thing he does still have feelings for her :frown:

. Now he barely sends me any poems or is too busy and doesnt have enough money to visit me. I feel so broken by this, any advice?

Give him some space dear, I didn't say you should forget about him though. People have different love stories you know this may be yours

Reply 3

xox416

14

He might be rebounding

Reply 4

toxicgamage56

19

Original post by 72727

break up and move on

Ah yes the epitome of TSR's relationship advice. I love how everyone just jumps to a break up instantaneously.

Reply 5

Sapphiredex

2

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship since January and we are pretty much in love. Prior to me he had a gf of almost 2 years but she ended up leaving him due to her parents not accepting him, he told me he was broken and was very sad about it and i tried my best to cheer him up, i was by his side until few weeks after he started flirting with him and being very nice and always appreciated me for who i am as i helped him realise that she never loved him if she left. We got into a relationship only 2 months after his breakup and i just couldnt understand how he could forget her so easily, i broke up with my ex of 1 yr and it took me 6 months before i started feeling better and i was single during this time trying to heal. My now boyfriend used to send me many poems and as we live 3 hours away from each other he visited me for 3 days and had to go back due to work. Something odd was that not long after we started to get to know each other he was very ho*ny and we would have dirty talks a lot of the times and i was fine with it, he told his family about us and i spoke to his mother and siblings many times. Now something changed as he got another job he is always tired and drained and barely gives me the attention and time he used to give me before and it’s making me upset, few days ago he confessed that he still is hurt by his ex and many things remind him of her which frustrates him a lot and that this pain will stay with him until the day he passes, this somehow made me so insecure because he always says he loves me madly and i was all he thinks about. When i even mentioned anything about his ex he feels uncomfortable and gets panic attacks which makes me thing he does still have feelings for her :frown:

. Now he barely sends me any poems or is too busy and doesnt have enough money to visit me. I feel so broken by this, any advice?

It's not only you who are insecure but he too is. You see, in his previous relationship he got rejected by his girlfriend's parents so there are chances that he has lost hope that he'd ever be accepted by anyone. In such a case, be sure that you reassure him by letting him know that you're going to be there with him in all times and you love him as who he's. If he still feels that pain from previous heartbreak then suggest him to take a break from the relationship so after he's done with his thoughts he'd miss you and come to you only for you and do let him know why you should opt for a break so that he might not assume it for some distance building. And while you talk about break tell him what you feel when he confesses his thoughts about his heartbreak. Tell him that you feel insecure and that to make the current relationship work you need to be in the present and so that you both can actually grow together too. If you get a chance to hug him then do so too. And give him time to get back to normal because he seems to be in stress with work or some other crisis which are leading him to dwell on his past. Now it's your part to be understanding in such a time. He needs you to comfort him and understand him.Tell him to be clear about his thoughts snd needs at the present, it's time to move on from the past.

Reply 6

72727

9

Original post by toxicgamage56

Ah yes the epitome of TSR's relationship advice. I love how everyone just jumps to a break up instantaneously.

easy solution imo

Reply 7

Meheraj

19

Original post by toxicgamage56

Ah yes the epitome of TSR's relationship advice. I love how everyone just jumps to a break up instantaneously.

Yeah, it's absolutely bizarre to see so many people doing it. If you can fix something (where you found happiness) with little effort, why break up so easily until or unless something has gone really awful? Also, it's easy to suggest someone break up with others because you're not in their shoes to comprehend their situation.

Reply 8

Mistiria

4

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship since January and we are pretty much in love. Prior to me he had a gf of almost 2 years but she ended up leaving him due to her parents not accepting him, he told me he was broken and was very sad about it and i tried my best to cheer him up, i was by his side until few weeks after he started flirting with him and being very nice and always appreciated me for who i am as i helped him realise that she never loved him if she left. We got into a relationship only 2 months after his breakup and i just couldnt understand how he could forget her so easily, i broke up with my ex of 1 yr and it took me 6 months before i started feeling better and i was single during this time trying to heal. My now boyfriend used to send me many poems and as we live 3 hours away from each other he visited me for 3 days and had to go back due to work. Something odd was that not long after we started to get to know each other he was very ho*ny and we would have dirty talks a lot of the times and i was fine with it, he told his family about us and i spoke to his mother and siblings many times. Now something changed as he got another job he is always tired and drained and barely gives me the attention and time he used to give me before and it’s making me upset, few days ago he confessed that he still is hurt by his ex and many things remind him of her which frustrates him a lot and that this pain will stay with him until the day he passes, this somehow made me so insecure because he always says he loves me madly and i was all he thinks about. When i even mentioned anything about his ex he feels uncomfortable and gets panic attacks which makes me thing he does still have feelings for her :frown:

. Now he barely sends me any poems or is too busy and doesnt have enough money to visit me. I feel so broken by this, any advice?

People in the replies saying break up isn't the solution. People want a fast pass out of their problems. I agree with people in the comments that say to reassure him that you're there for him, and communicate with him about your feelings. Also, please give us an update on how things went because this post seems to be from almost a year ago!

My boyfriend is acting a bit odd, help me please :(

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