Am I unattractive? What is it?
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Mate, asking for help is the first step. There's no shame in not knowing how to flirt with women. You got help learning to tie your shoes. You got help learning to ride a bike. You're about to get help flirting with women.
The first thing I want you to know is that you cannot have either One-itis or lift women up on a pedestal. We are attracted to those who are our equal or betters. We tend not to be attracted to those who act like they're below us in every way. Talk to women like you talk to your friends - Be funny, laugh, tease.
That, by the way, isn't enough. You also have to take a chance. You have to flirt, make a move. Don't be afraid of failure. You will have some women who won't like you - That's fine. Nobody is everybody's cup of tea.
Fear is very unsexy. If you're too afraid to make a move, you will never be seen as attractive.
There are other things we can suggest, but we honestly don't know what applies or doesn't apply. Do women think you're creepy? Then probably figure out why before you start making moves. Do you not know how to read someone's interest? Does your voice make us want to plug up our ears?
Hard to say. We don't know you, but for more help you may need to talk to your friends and ask them to be very critical of you and tell you what's wrong with you.
The first thing I want you to know is that you cannot have either One-itis or lift women up on a pedestal. We are attracted to those who are our equal or betters. We tend not to be attracted to those who act like they're below us in every way. Talk to women like you talk to your friends - Be funny, laugh, tease.
That, by the way, isn't enough. You also have to take a chance. You have to flirt, make a move. Don't be afraid of failure. You will have some women who won't like you - That's fine. Nobody is everybody's cup of tea.
Fear is very unsexy. If you're too afraid to make a move, you will never be seen as attractive.
There are other things we can suggest, but we honestly don't know what applies or doesn't apply. Do women think you're creepy? Then probably figure out why before you start making moves. Do you not know how to read someone's interest? Does your voice make us want to plug up our ears?
Hard to say. We don't know you, but for more help you may need to talk to your friends and ask them to be very critical of you and tell you what's wrong with you.
Reply 2
Original post by ThatOldGuy
Mate, asking for help is the first step. There's no shame in not knowing how to flirt with women. You got help learning to tie your shoes. You got help learning to ride a bike. You're about to get help flirting with women.
The first thing I want you to know is that you cannot have either One-itis or lift women up on a pedestal. We are attracted to those who are our equal or betters. We tend not to be attracted to those who act like they're below us in every way. Talk to women like you talk to your friends - Be funny, laugh, tease.
That, by the way, isn't enough. You also have to take a chance. You have to flirt, make a move. Don't be afraid of failure. You will have some women who won't like you - That's fine. Nobody is everybody's cup of tea.
Fear is very unsexy. If you're too afraid to make a move, you will never be seen as attractive.
There are other things we can suggest, but we honestly don't know what applies or doesn't apply. Do women think you're creepy? Then probably figure out why before you start making moves. Do you not know how to read someone's interest? Does your voice make us want to plug up our ears?
Hard to say. We don't know you, but for more help you may need to talk to your friends and ask them to be very critical of you and tell you what's wrong with you.
The first thing I want you to know is that you cannot have either One-itis or lift women up on a pedestal. We are attracted to those who are our equal or betters. We tend not to be attracted to those who act like they're below us in every way. Talk to women like you talk to your friends - Be funny, laugh, tease.
That, by the way, isn't enough. You also have to take a chance. You have to flirt, make a move. Don't be afraid of failure. You will have some women who won't like you - That's fine. Nobody is everybody's cup of tea.
Fear is very unsexy. If you're too afraid to make a move, you will never be seen as attractive.
There are other things we can suggest, but we honestly don't know what applies or doesn't apply. Do women think you're creepy? Then probably figure out why before you start making moves. Do you not know how to read someone's interest? Does your voice make us want to plug up our ears?
Hard to say. We don't know you, but for more help you may need to talk to your friends and ask them to be very critical of you and tell you what's wrong with you.
Not creepy at all, honestly id say I get along well with all the girls in all my classes. We talk and everything but Im not sure
Sometimes I think that its just me simply not making a move to girls, and if I did then I would actually find somebody.
I tend to be more focussed academically than girls ibr, then and there I will take my chance with one but I mostly just speak to girls as friends.
But yeah.
Reply 3
As a girl, I would say that girls are into guys with a sense of confidence. Try to put more effort into your appearance and act natural. Say something funny in class and make all the girls laugh. Make yourself interesting with opinions and knowledge that a normal person wouldn't have. If you haven't already, try to go to the gym. Be social, contribrute more in classes, too.
Reply 4
You're barely old enough to be dating, so stop stressing about it.
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni.
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni.
Reply 5
You're barely old enough to be dating, so stop stressing about it.
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality and you're not taking the opportunity to show yours by messaging girls. Talk to them in real life, be interested and interesting and let them see your reactions.
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni. I'd started work before I met my boyfriend and so what?
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality and you're not taking the opportunity to show yours by messaging girls. Talk to them in real life, be interested and interesting and let them see your reactions.
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni. I'd started work before I met my boyfriend and so what?
Reply 7
yes u are
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
How tall are you?
Reply 10
Original post by Gina is here
How tall are you?
Like 5'10
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
You're barely old enough to be dating, so stop stressing about it.
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality and you're not taking the opportunity to show yours by messaging girls. Talk to them in real life, be interested and interesting and let them see your reactions.
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni. I'd started work before I met my boyfriend and so what?
Attractiveness isn't just about looks, it's the whole package and includes personality and you're not taking the opportunity to show yours by messaging girls. Talk to them in real life, be interested and interesting and let them see your reactions.
I'm F and didn't have a boyfriend at 17. Or 18. Or through uni. I'd started work before I met my boyfriend and so what?
Man, its so common in my college though like its crazy
Reply 12
Original post by We Sink
I'm 36 and I can still can't, inverted commas, flirt.
ur 36 and on student room? Brudda brudda just stay quiet
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Right so im gonna give it to you guys straight.
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Im a 17M, in year 13. Only ever been complimented by a girl once and that was a girl who I met off of snapchat randomly when I was 15. Never had a girlfriend, never done anything. I dont even know myself if im attractive because ive never been complimented before. My mates say, yeah you look good and all that (here and there) however I dont know.
When I started in year 12 the girl I sat next to in Chemistry took somewhat interest in me and we were speaking on snapchat for a bit. At least after a week her replies go from being really full of energy to straight dry dry replies.
Similarly, another girl I text (about a few weeks ago) that I knew from College was the same. For the first 1-2 weeks was really really responsive and then after became dry and things didnt work out after that
I genuinely dont get it, do I have any hope when it comes to girls or not? I wouldnt say I attract any (as in them coming to speak to me irl in college) but I dont know.
Guys, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (This was more to vent what has been on my mind)
Okay, first thing - attractiveness means very little when it comes to relationships. It’s a lot more important in hookups, one nights etc - although that doesn’t sound like what you’re looking for. Every single girl in our friendship group (including myself) has very, very different things we find attractive in a guy. One thing to me that’s a turn on, is very much a turn off to my mate. I wouldn’t pay a lot of attention to how attractive you are (or aren’t). That being said, take care of your appearance. Women tend to notice the small details too - I swear to god, please make sure your nails are trimmed and clean. A good smelling deodorant and cologne, that sort of thing.
Charisma is learnt and developed, not a natural skill. You don’t need to filter yourself down when talking to women, or change your personality. Trust me, women can see right through it - and there’s nothing worse than a guy who acts completely different (rude, brash and disrespectful with his mates, yet lovey and sweet with the girl he’s into). Nope. Humour is everything. Not overly rehearsed, or practiced - but making a joke is never a bad thing. Particularly inside jokes between the two of you if you get to a stage you’re semi-close.
Don’t be afraid of rejection, or not being reciprocated. I’d like to make clear I’m by no means saying if she’s clearly uncomfortable, carry on, which being said, make sure to read the room, and her signals. But, don’t be afraid of flirting, or ‘making a move’ for fear of rejection. If she doesn’t like it, move on, and leave her be. Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea.
Eye contact. Show her she has your attention when you’re in conversation. Particularly when in conversation, leave a little distance between you. Two reasons, a) it won’t come off as creepy, or weird b) it gives her a chance to move closer, and show you that she’s into you. I’m not talking about social distancing from her like she’s got the flu, but leaning back a little if you’re sitting with her, that sort of thing.
Often times, and I say having done so myself numerous times, if a girl is really high energy, then to dry; it’s usually a test to see if you’ll return the same energy. Sometimes, and speaking purely from my own experience, I wonder whether it’s one-sided, and don’t want to waste my energy giving full enthusiasm into a conversation I’m fuelling. My partner has to be able to match my energy, and reciprocate. Same thing as if she’s always the one to text first, she’ll stop texting to see whether you do instead. Same idea.
Again, just speaking from myself and friends perspectives. Let me know!
Reply 14
Hey, first of all thank you so much for your advice. It means a lot
You said that when girls go dry after being so full of energy its a test right? Basically my situation was was that the girls ive spoken to for like the 1st week she was really really responsive and interested but then after that her replies went a lot longer and more drier. I spoke to a friend today about it and he said that I was basically being used as somewhat as a practice, and they only spoke to me because they had nobody else to speak to.
Genuinely, this whole thing is a mystery lol. If it really was a test then if I didnt give energy back when they went dry would that mean they would just stop at that point?
(Im not sure if what im saying makes sense, but I appreciate any advice you give
)
You said that when girls go dry after being so full of energy its a test right? Basically my situation was was that the girls ive spoken to for like the 1st week she was really really responsive and interested but then after that her replies went a lot longer and more drier. I spoke to a friend today about it and he said that I was basically being used as somewhat as a practice, and they only spoke to me because they had nobody else to speak to.
Genuinely, this whole thing is a mystery lol. If it really was a test then if I didnt give energy back when they went dry would that mean they would just stop at that point?
(Im not sure if what im saying makes sense, but I appreciate any advice you give
)Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, first of all thank you so much for your advice. It means a lot
You said that when girls go dry after being so full of energy its a test right? Basically my situation was was that the girls ive spoken to for like the 1st week she was really really responsive and interested but then after that her replies went a lot longer and more drier. I spoke to a friend today about it and he said that I was basically being used as somewhat as a practice, and they only spoke to me because they had nobody else to speak to.
Genuinely, this whole thing is a mystery lol. If it really was a test then if I didnt give energy back when they went dry would that mean they would just stop at that point?
(Im not sure if what im saying makes sense, but I appreciate any advice you give )
You said that when girls go dry after being so full of energy its a test right? Basically my situation was was that the girls ive spoken to for like the 1st week she was really really responsive and interested but then after that her replies went a lot longer and more drier. I spoke to a friend today about it and he said that I was basically being used as somewhat as a practice, and they only spoke to me because they had nobody else to speak to.
Genuinely, this whole thing is a mystery lol. If it really was a test then if I didnt give energy back when they went dry would that mean they would just stop at that point?
(Im not sure if what im saying makes sense, but I appreciate any advice you give
)Guess it depends on the conversation, we girls get bored if the conversation is hi how are you what you up to
Reply 16
Original post by Gina is here
Guess it depends on the conversation, we girls get bored if the conversation is hi how are you what you up to
Yeah, none of them came up.
Like the first week of speaking like the energy is reciprocated, like there's no small talk or anything
Second week, I give the energy but she doesn't reciprocate the same back, its just very dry.
Idk atp man I think im just gon focus on studies lol
Reply 17
Communication is 7% words, 35% paralinguistics (tonal), and 58% body language. Your insecurity is what is stopping you from getting a girlfriend. Send voice messages rather than just texts. Use pet names. Vary your pitch from light and jovial to dark and sultry when you're flirting. Make it fun. Add a bit of mystery. Make sure you meet up as well. It doesn't matter how attractive you are if you aren't meeting up in person.
Reply 18
Original post by Mentalhealth*12
Communication is 7% words, 35% paralinguistics (tonal), and 58% body language. Your insecurity is what is stopping you from getting a girlfriend. Send voice messages rather than just texts. Use pet names. Vary your pitch from light and jovial to dark and sultry when you're flirting. Make it fun. Add a bit of mystery. Make sure you meet up as well. It doesn't matter how attractive you are if you aren't meeting up in person.
Cheers, I really appreciate it
Original post by Anonymous
ur 36 and on student room? Brudda brudda just stay quiet
Who the hell are you to tell someone else to stay quiet?
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