I feel ugly (F18) because I dont get hit on at clubs

I know this is silly but ive been clubbing like 3 times now, and no one has asked for my snap ((as in I had to ask first)) when other girls get asked first. im not sure if im actually ugly but I feel thats the only reason

Reply 1

Zarek

It tends to be the very attractive or socially able that get proactive approaches, the majority of folk need to do a bit work to get interest. There’s nothing wrong with being proactive yourself

Reply 2

Old Skool Freak

First off, it's NOT silly if it's causing you upset / distress.

Secondly, you're still quite new to all this so you can't draw any firm conclusions from only going clubbing three times. It's like anything, you need to learn the ropes and get used to the dynamic.

The good news is that it's generally easy for girls to get attention in clubs if you know what you're doing. First off, you need to make sure you put yourself in a position where people are likely to notice you. If you're a "wall-flower" or a "shrinking violet", then chances are no one will even be aware of you, let alone hit on you. Do you go on the dancefloor? Do you ever drink when you're out? Do you move around the venue or stay in the same place all night?

I suspect you're (in a roundabout way) a similar level of attractiveness to your friends, otherwise they probably wouldn't be hanging around with you (you know the saying "Birds of a feather stick together"), but it just may be they're better at giving off signs of interest and /or availability to others around. Don't be afraid to make eye-contact with someone you like the look of and smile at them.

The other thing is that guys have their own issues and insecurities too... you often hear stories about guys who are terrified to approach someone they like, because a rejection would crush their ego, or they get accused of harassment. Therefore, it's not a bad thing that you're not afraid to ask for guys details and show initiative.

Above all, just enjoy the night... try and put aside getting hit on and bond with the girls. When they see you having a good time, then the right guys will approach you. Besides, you've got Halloween coming up soon, and then Christmas... both occasions people are a bit more chatty than usual.

Spoiler

Have fun