i feel so down

and i never enjoy the lessons anymore because most of the stuff we do i don't want to do, like experimenting with different media or drawing from images and stuff

i'd rather do my own digital art of anything i want without having to follow one theme or use specific techniques that i won't enjoy/won't be good at

It’s perfectly fine to decide that you want to keep something as a hobby and not something to study anymore.

If you enjoy art and creative activities there’s lots of ways to get involved in creative industries and creative events instead of working to produce art itself to a brief. That way you work with artists and the public who enjoy art without it being your art that’s the “product”.

Have a look into creative event management, creative direction or careers/degrees in things around curation, exhibition and experience design.

What other subjects are you studying at GCSE? Is there anything else you study that you enjoy and/or think you’ll get good grades in?

currently i'm studying art, history and textiles as my chosen ones

i think another reason why i feel this drained and depressive is because i have the workload of art AND textiles, originally i chose ICT and business as a backup but my school wouldn't let me do either of those as it didn't align with my other choices, so i went for textiles thinking it would be the most fun out of the options i had left - clearly now i regret that decision also

I'm thinking of just going to college and doing graphic design (alongside other options like maths/maybe accounting, maybe psychology and media studies) as it matches the kind of art i like doing more (digital, markers, for business etc)

That sounds like a good idea.

In terms of making your textiles gcse feel less of a burden is there a possibility of looking into surface design more? Often wallpaper, large scale fabric and tile designs are developed and printed digitally which might work better to your preferences and interests. Your school might not have the facilities on site but it might be worth looking into (even if you just mock up what designs would look like on wallpaper and hand print a single sheet). You’d have to check with your teachers that it would work with the syllabus too. Textiles is a topic that lots of teachers don’t really cover the breadth and practicality of it (like the textiles used in cars and boats or carpets or plastics).

i mean the problem i have with textiles is actually making samples and stuff, everything else i don't mind and i actually prefer textiles over art slightly (even though i hate both 💀)

I'm trying to do samples that include techniques i like through artist exploration at the moment, so for me that's like crochet and embroidery with the sewing machines

the samples make it super hard to finish everything on time as i don't have access to sewing machines unless I'm having textiles lessons, but everyone else intimidates me or is using the machines themselves