I’m neurodivergent can i ever be normal?

I feel like at my core i just want to have friends (female, just turned 20) but every time I’m in new social situations, I end up overthinking everything i do and becoming too self aware to just let loose. I feel like (in 1st year uni) i haven’t found ‘my people’ and i always presume that people are looking at me like “she’s weird, avoid” and i really cannot tell if this is my ‘inner demons’ talking or if people are genuinely perceiving me badly, but I definitely have experience weird looks/people seeming off put by me/coming to me and then their energy changing as soon as they realise I’m actually quiet/weird. I don’t know to be honest. For example, I’ve joined dance (something i used to love but quit when i was 10) and i feel like I can’t even just let loose and enjoy because i feel like everyone else there is more ‘popular’ and has their cliques etc. If there’s people i want to come to, for example i think someone would be a really cool person to be friends with, girl or guy, i feel like i need some sort of approval or permission first, or they’ll just avoid me because i seem boring when in reality it just takes me a while to reach that comfortable stage. I did a gap yeas, and before that it was Covid+Sixth form so back then everyone was a bit more socially reserved so i felt ok to just be a hermit pretty much, and now i’m super insecure about it because I’ve lost way too much experience so i feel inferior to everyone else. Would you feel put off if someone “quiet” like this came to you? Do you have any tips for me to feel more normal/comfortable? I know that i really want to just be myself/let loose etc when i was younger i had genuine friends and didn’t expect my teenage years +early 20s to flop like this