The Student Room Group

Loneliness

Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hey! Thanks for sharing this, I definitely agree that it helps when other people open up and talk about how their feeling and shows how you're not alone with it. When I was a student I was very shy and anxious, and have always found it extremely hard to make friends. I preferred to just focus on my studies instead, and that's absolutely fine! Like you said, not everyone meets their friends for life at uni, friends come at all different stages, university life is different for everyone. I love that you're trusting the process, with this attitude I'm sure you're gonna meet some great people soon :smile:

Some of the ways students can make friends is through joining clubs and societies, attending student union trips, becoming a student ambassador, getting involved in volunteering work, through part-time work on campus etc. If this isn't succeeding, you could look into joining clubs or finding hobby outside of university, maybe you'll make some great friends that way too.

Good luck with the rest of your uni experience, I hope you're enjoying your course and meet some fab people soon!

Becky
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:


Hey my daughter goes to Lancaster uni. shes a fourth year. 2020 she was thrown into restrictions and having her flat being all she knows. She did get to speak to her physics friends on line and they went for 'socially distanced walks' and it was tough. Second year she moved into a flat with 7 of her flatmates and although restrictions has lifted, her flatmates ended up with different friendship groups and it was tough. She would socialise with her physics friends mainly in the library to study or to go out for the odd drink. Then summer term of second year she got chatting to a girl in the greggs queue and she invited her to a pub quiz in the city, and its there she met her people. Her quiz group comes from LGBTQ+IA community and although they are not part of the Lancaster society group, they just all clicked and became really good friends. They see each other once a week, and with her physics friends once a week, and her studies and problem sheets in the evening, its filled her time up. Even more so now she works at primark at the weekend, and also now a boyfriend who she sees twice a week. So its gone from not much, to full on.

After second year, shes moved to private halls in third year at penny street with 12 new strangers. She got on with them, but not firm friends or anything and she found that fine. Shes was very happy to keep her friends separate from her flat life.And likewise in 4th year, shes at C.Wharf and same again, she gets on with her flatmates, but her firm friends are the quiz group/physics group.

Definitely do the societies, because even if you are not making firm friends just yet, it is filling your time up at Lancaster. And also your subject group as well, ask them to see if they will study with you, or see if theres a group chat for problem sheets/coursework and from there ask if they want to come for a drink, or a cheap meal at one of the pubs in town, or even a sultans.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:


Hi there

This is so relatable, and it is really good advice too. I certainly know the more introverted students at University tend to struggle a bit more to make friends quickly. And you are right in that it isn't uncommon, whilst you may feel isolated, there are many who are in the same position, so please do not feel negative about yourself.

It is good to hear that you are staying positive, it is a really good mindset to have. Really it can be just keeping up with what you are doing now and trusting the process.

For myself, I joined University when remote learning was still going on, so I did feel alone a lot of the time. Especially as I am more introverted, making friends at socials did not come naturally to me. However, I found that continuously attending similar socials, showing up for lectures and seminars can really create opportunities to meet and talk to people with similar hobbies.

One thing that I should have done was access the Universities Wellbeing and Support services during first year- they are helpful in offering the services and advice that you may need. They may also host events where you can meet other students that need help.

I would also recommend having a look at any schemes by your student union: for example Buddy schemes where you can be paired with another student, or any walking buddy/ coffee meeting schemes. :smile: Best of luck!

I hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Reply 4
I think one of the tricks my daughter did was to not put so much pressure on herself, and also to keep herself busy with societies, gym, studying, library and other study spaces, treating herself to a sultans now and again, going to a cafe, or out for a walk. By putting herself out there she was increasing her chances of meeting people, and whether its a 5 mins talk, an hour talk, or leads to a social, or a meet up somewhere for a coffee; each time she appreciated the moment for what it was; whether it was brief or for a long time. And she saw that as a positive as she got more confident with approaching people.
(edited 3 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hi!

I'm currently a third year student at Lancaster. I am fortunate to have made some great friends at uni but the first few weeks can definitely be tough. I remember feeling quite isolated in lectures as I felt like I didn't know anybody.

In my experience, joining societies is a great way to make friends over the year, and I even met people doing the same course as me which led to me making more friends studying the same modules as me. Refreshers fair runs at the start of second term so it is definitely a good idea to go along to that. There are loads of really friendly societies such as korfball, baking, mountaineering and crafts so whatever you are into there should be something you are interested in. I found societies really useful for helping with loneliness as they have a lot of structured activities and socials that are easy to talk to people at and gain shared experiences with other people. A lot of societies are also happy for people to join at any time during the year so you can always drop one a message if you're interested.

For people you already know, suggesting activities like badminton, a pub quiz, coffee or a walk can be a good way to get to know people better. There will definitely be other people who haven't yet found their friend group.

Additionally, the Wellbeing Partnerships Team (used to be known as the Transitions Team) runs weekly events such as a quiz, walk around campus and tea and chat. The tea and chat in particular is a really relaxed environment to meet new people in. They have a Teams Channel that you can be added to where they post announcements. You can email them at [email protected].

Hope this helps, and good luck for the rest of term,
Becky (Lancaster University Student Ambassador)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hi there!

Thankyou for sharing. I can sympathise with anyone that feel lonely at uni. Especially in first year! It can be quite daunting but, I believe it can get better. Remember that you're not alone in experiencing these emotions, and there are steps you can take to feel more connected. Considering joining clubs, organizations, or social activities on campus really helped me to get myself out there! Also, engaging in shared interests can be a great way to meet new people and build friendships. Reaching out to classmates or attending university events can provide opportunities for you to make friends - I’m in my third year joe and this took time! Only towards the end of second year I was confident enough to talk to my classmates, and I found they felt the same. Joining in on seminars or lectures as well as group tasks actually enabled us to get to know each other better.

Remember to take care of yourself and be patient with the process forming meaningful connections takes time.

All the best,
Ellie
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing! I think that this is more common than people think, I've shared similar feelings throughout my degree but I do think that it gets better over time. Good luck with the rest of your degree, I know that your experience will improve!

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

hey i’m also a fresher at Lancaster uni and i feel the same so you aren’t alone :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by rubiez33
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

hey i’m also a fresher at Lancaster uni and i feel the same so you aren’t alone :smile:


omg hey!! this makes me feel a lot better, obviously not to hear that you're going through this, but to know i'm not the only one. thank you so much <3
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hi,

Starting university can be an incredibly daunting and scary experience especially if you are a shy or introverted person.

I found my first semester in university quite lonely too as I joined during the pandemic so spent most of the first semester online without many opportunities to socialise with my cohort.

However, once we rejoined campus lectures it made a huge difference as everyone was so eager to get to know each other. I would recommend you stay patient as the most naturally formed friendships are the ones that last the longest. The girls I'm closest with in university are the girls I simply got to know by sitting next to each other in a lecture and joining each other for lunch.

Other little steps such as joining sports teams or societies could help too as you'll meet people with similar interests and hopefully form friendships there too.

You have the right attitude towards the whole situation so I'd say to keep going as you are and friendships will form, just give it time.

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd-year Children's Nursing)
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
omg hey!! this makes me feel a lot better, obviously not to hear that you're going through this, but to know i'm not the only one. thank you so much <3


what are you studying? x
Original post by Anonymous
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

Hi there,

I'm in my second year now and I definitely felt like this in first year! There seems to be a lot of pressure to make your lifelong friends at University but this isn't always the case and that's okay. There is a lot to take in at once, moving away from home, starting a new course and making friends all at the same time and it can be hard to juggle.

Something that really helped me when I was struggling with this is to remember that a lot more people feel like this than you think. No matter how lonely I felt, I would always go into lectures and be chatty and sociable and nobody would've known how I was feeling! I struggled a lot with having friends when we were in lectures/seminars but they all had their own friendship groups outside of the course so they often didn't want to do things outside of studying which I found hard as I didn't have this.
it's completely okay to not make friends instantly, often your closer friends are people who you meet later on as during freshers week there can be a lot of pressure to make friends but after a few months people are more themselves and it's easier to find genuine connections.

Some ways I would suggest meeting people are through societies or through having a job. Having a job as a student ambassador is a great way of making friends as everybody that works there is a student at your university so chances are you will have something in common. It's also worth looking at what events your student union offers- at Sheffield Hallam the student union offers 'give it a go' sessions which can range from pottery painting to going to alton towers so this is also a great way to meet people or just learn something new and your university may offer this too or something similar.

I hope some of this helps, just remember that everybody's experience is different and there is no perfect university experience.

Good luck with the rest of your studies and let me know if you have any more questions,
Lucy- Student ambassador at Sheffield Hallam.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

I can share my experience with loneliness, but it is probably the very opposite of what you expect.

I enjoy my loneliness and the company of my thoughts. At university I studied science. I find loneliness incredibly productive for scientific discovery.

I find the tendencies that some universities have nowadays - of telling students how good "teamwork" is - incredibly annoying and very unprofessional. As well as DEAD WRONG.

Sir Isaac Newton did excellent scientific work while being retreated in the countryside due to the Black Plague.

"The mind is sharper and keener in seclusion and uninterrupted solitude. No big laboratory is needed in which to think.
Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind. Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.”
Nikola Tesla

"The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind."
Albert Einstein

HOWEVER, nowadays many universities keep pestering us students with how good togetherness is, how good "teamwork" is, how studying together is "good" etc. This is absolutely unprofessional, and I am trying to be polite.

Universities seem to think they have "reinvented the wheel" with regard to what is productive for scientific study, and also to think they are smarter than Newton, Einstein or Tesla.

I am sorry again that this reply will probably be disappointing to you.
I feel for you and I hope you have lots of friends, good company and good times with them, if that is what you wish.
However, my experience with loneliness is the very opposite from what you described in your post - it is a very positive one.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

I'm also at Lancaster Uni and sometimes, I feel the same as you. You're not alone. I haven't even found flatmates to live with next year yet at all.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous #3
Original post by Anonymous #1
Hi! I'm a fresher at Lancaster Uni. This is my sixth week of being here and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster.

I've met some people who I've had a lot of fun with - mostly it never seems to go further than that. It doesn't seem to form an actual friendship. I know that these things take time (unfortunately I'm massively impatient), but it is really tough living on-campus surrounded by people who appear to have it all figured out (even if they don't deep down).

I guess if someone is reading this, and they feel alone at University, I want them to know that they aren't the only one. It helps me to read other posts on uni forums about loneliness, because you have some form of reassurance that it isn't uncommon - a lot of people just don't talk about it.

It's difficult, I feel that certain expectations are set out to students as to what University will be like. Of course, they will mainly mention the good stuff. But the truth is, making friends for life, feeling integrated..that doesn't define everyone's experience. It doesn't have to be the best time of your life. It isn't for everyone and I know it's not ideal, but if anything, maybe it can give you hope of better days ahead. Equally, things can get better at University.

I'm trying to just challenge myself to be patient and to trust that I'll get something out of this experience, be it positive or negative.

Trust the process, these things do take time and what is for you will not pass you by.

If anyone has any tips, advice or even more crucially: their own experiences with loneliness at University, please share it. It helps so much to hear that we aren't alone and it also helps to hear that it's possible to make it out the other side.

Thank you!! :smile:

I'm also at Lancaster Uni and sometimes, I feel the same as you. You're not alone. I haven't even found flatmates to live with next year yet at all.


Thank you for sharing this. It's tough - it also sucks that we have to make the decision so quick. I chose to live on campus to ease the pressure a little bit, that way I'll meet new people through that. Here to chat if you need
Original post by Anonymous #1
I'm also at Lancaster Uni and sometimes, I feel the same as you. You're not alone. I haven't even found flatmates to live with next year yet at all.


Hello,

As a fourth year, I have had my fair share of loneliness at Lancaster too. In my first year, with it being 2020. I didn't make any friends in first term because I wasn't getting along with my flatmates, so I ended up living on campus in second year, which wasn't as bad as I had expected - there are more people in your situation than you might expect.

Something to note is that you don't need to figure out your housing in first term, believe me! The housing agencies make it seem like everyone already have their houses sorted, when in reality, very few people do. There will be some really nice houses empty even towards the end of March - never feel pressured into sorting your housing out at the beginning of the year. In my third year I lived in Chancellor's Wharf and didn't really know anybody and I preferred it to being on campus, so maybe consider this as an option if you would prefer to live in town :smile:

Places to find some new friends:
-Chat with people on the bus!
-Join some societies
-Attend your college's events
-Speak to people in your classes - especially if they are sitting alone :smile:

For me, I have found that the best way to make friends is to just put yourself out there, which I know can be easier said than done - I am very socially anxious myself - but in the grand scheme of things, talking to someone on the bus will go one of three ways: 1. you make a new friend, 2. you chat together but it's awkward - that's fine, it's only temporary 3. they ignore you - both of you will forget what happened in about 10 minutes.

Hope this helps,
Tyler (LU Ambassador)
(edited 2 months ago)

Quick Reply

Latest