Pretending to cope in festivals

Hi .hoe do you pretend to cope during festivals or maintain it.. It's Diwali and while i like lighting candles decorating i hate the socialisation stuff in temple, feel pressured to go and 'be there ' from parents temple people etc... I don't fit in there anyway because of my development delay and feel conscious and everythibg! But how I'm so upset! My aunt passed away in horrible situation close to Diwali time (2020- covid year), didn't get to say bye either and she was like a much older of me, bit nervous but she always used to sit in this one seat at the temple, i used to sit with her and whenever I felt lost just gave me company shre get food like somasas and share that with me etc how do you move on . I go temple and just constantly searching for her.i can't cope!

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CarlaCD73

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Original post by unknownforever

Hi .hoe do you pretend to cope during festivals or maintain it.. It's Diwali and while i like lighting candles decorating i hate the socialisation stuff in temple, feel pressured to go and 'be there ' from parents temple people etc... I don't fit in there anyway because of my development delay and feel conscious and everythibg! But how I'm so upset! My aunt passed away in horrible situation close to Diwali time (2020- covid year), didn't get to say bye either and she was like a much older of me, bit nervous but she always used to sit in this one seat at the temple, i used to sit with her and whenever I felt lost just gave me company shre get food like somasas and share that with me etc how do you move on . I go temple and just constantly searching for her.i can't cope!

I have lived 6 years on India Pune , and I put up a brave face and I am trying to be a good son for the sake of my family,!I don’t want to be an embarrassment. Plus ( I am older than you ) growing up and being independent will give you the chance to avoid such festivals if they are so annoying to you