Making friends at university

I was really excited for university to make loads of new friends but I haven't found that to be the case. I am a second year now and still haven't had any luck making deeper friendships or even finding people that I really like. Throughout first year, my flat was horrible and I don't speak to anyone that I lived with in halls. Everyone on my course are just not my sort of people and there are nice people but I just don't really feel a connection to them. I've tried different societies but I don't feel like any of them have a community feel; most people go with friends and don't socialise outside of that (the one's I have been to anyway). I don't enjoy clubbing that much. Anyone that I have really liked and became close to in first year dropped out so I find myself going to lectures and always sitting by myself and generally spending most of my day by myself. I have friends at home that I love but I've always wanted to feel like part of a group and was looking forward to uni for that. What else can I do? I don't want to graduate having made no close friends but I just can't see what else I can do.

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

20

Well I mean, you kind of are going about it the right way already... you need to go out there and do things and be active about talking with people. Going to societies is no use if you don't participate or start conversations with people, so start talking with random people in societies!

Make an effort with the people on your course too. The connection might not be instant. O my flat, the person whom I get along with the most now was actually the person whom I got along with the least when I moved in, so things change if you give it time and put in a little effort.

Basically, just keep doing what you're doing but make sure to strike conversations with people and you'll find your friends :smile:

Reply 2

De Montfort University

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous #1

I was really excited for university to make loads of new friends but I haven't found that to be the case. I am a second year now and still haven't had any luck making deeper friendships or even finding people that I really like. Throughout first year, my flat was horrible and I don't speak to anyone that I lived with in halls. Everyone on my course are just not my sort of people and there are nice people but I just don't really feel a connection to them. I've tried different societies but I don't feel like any of them have a community feel; most people go with friends and don't socialise outside of that (the one's I have been to anyway). I don't enjoy clubbing that much. Anyone that I have really liked and became close to in first year dropped out so I find myself going to lectures and always sitting by myself and generally spending most of my day by myself. I have friends at home that I love but I've always wanted to feel like part of a group and was looking forward to uni for that. What else can I do? I don't want to graduate having made no close friends but I just can't see what else I can do.

Hi! 👋🏻

I understand how you feel! Making friends at university can be difficult. There are so many people and it can feel so overwhelming. Don't worry! It can take time and there will be many other people feeling this way too! 🙂

It can feel very isolating when you see others in big friend groups and you feel alone. It is completely normal to feel this way! Don't give up! It took me a while to find a good group of friends at uni. I tried societies and always felt a little left out. I also don't enjoy clubbing that much and it felt like everyone else loved it! I finally made a group of friends on my course randomly! I was placed in a group for a presentation halfway through second year and from there I made a great friend. She introduced me to her group and the rest is history! 😀

Turns out not everyone likes clubbing but a lot of people go as they feel they have top to fit in! 🍹Don't give up! Friendships can find you in the most random places! Try pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little. Go to an event at uni you thought you might not like. Go to the library and say hi to other people, Sometimes that might spark conversation and lead to a friendship. One of my closest friends was made at the library. We were looking for a book but were on different courses, we got talking and turns out we had a lot in common. We are now good friends and meet up regularly. This was in my fourth year of undergrad! 📖

Don't give up! You are not alone and you will find your people! Sometimes it just takes time. I hope this helps 🐻

Hannah 🐄
DMU Student Ambassador
Msc Psychological Wellbeing Student 🎓️

(edited 5 months ago)

Original post by Anonymous #1

I was really excited for university to make loads of new friends but I haven't found that to be the case. I am a second year now and still haven't had any luck making deeper friendships or even finding people that I really like. Throughout first year, my flat was horrible and I don't speak to anyone that I lived with in halls. Everyone on my course are just not my sort of people and there are nice people but I just don't really feel a connection to them. I've tried different societies but I don't feel like any of them have a community feel; most people go with friends and don't socialise outside of that (the one's I have been to anyway). I don't enjoy clubbing that much. Anyone that I have really liked and became close to in first year dropped out so I find myself going to lectures and always sitting by myself and generally spending most of my day by myself. I have friends at home that I love but I've always wanted to feel like part of a group and was looking forward to uni for that. What else can I do? I don't want to graduate having made no close friends but I just can't see what else I can do.

Hi there

It is good to hear that you have tried soceities and are still going to lectures. Whilst you have tried several soceities that you have not enjoyed, have you considered expanding and looking at other soceities? maybe have a look at their social media pages to see if there is anything which interests you?

For myself, I found speaking to people in the same seminar and classes really helped too. Another thing I would suggest is looking at your student union's website to see if they provide anything, for my University, we have coffee buddies and walking buddies where the University pairs you with another student, it may be a good way of meeting people.

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

Making friends at university

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