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struggling in new sixth form

I decided to move schools for year 12, and I currently attend a sixth form attached to a school so my year is quite small (appx 100 people) and I am finding it so hard to fully settle.

I am struggling friendship wise. Don't get me wrong, I have made friends as I am quite extroverted and I enjoy meeting new people however I feel as If I haven't found the right friendship group yet. The group I am currently with are nice but I just don't think they are the right people for me and i just don't fit in with them as we don't have many similarities and I just don't feel connected with them . for example, I read a lot of books, play hockey and netball but they don't, which doesn't bother me much but I just wish I had friends with more similarities to me. I know it'll take time to fully settle and find the right friendship group but I don't understand how to form good friendships with others.

The girls I play hockey with are nice but I don't know how to just start hanging out with them. One of the girls is so similar to me - she likes the same singers as me, as well as music and we are in the same Eng Lit class but I don't know how to get closer to her. Also, the girls I play netball with are lovely, and some of them are also so similar to me but I don't really have classes with them, except for one. Any advice on how to find the right friendship group and just start hanging out with them?
Original post by amydelrey
I decided to move schools for year 12, and I currently attend a sixth form attached to a school so my year is quite small (appx 100 people) and I am finding it so hard to fully settle.

I am struggling friendship wise. Don't get me wrong, I have made friends as I am quite extroverted and I enjoy meeting new people however I feel as If I haven't found the right friendship group yet. The group I am currently with are nice but I just don't think they are the right people for me and i just don't fit in with them as we don't have many similarities and I just don't feel connected with them . for example, I read a lot of books, play hockey and netball but they don't, which doesn't bother me much but I just wish I had friends with more similarities to me. I know it'll take time to fully settle and find the right friendship group but I don't understand how to form good friendships with others.

The girls I play hockey with are nice but I don't know how to just start hanging out with them. One of the girls is so similar to me - she likes the same singers as me, as well as music and we are in the same Eng Lit class but I don't know how to get closer to her. Also, the girls I play netball with are lovely, and some of them are also so similar to me but I don't really have classes with them, except for one. Any advice on how to find the right friendship group and just start hanging out with them?


Hey Amy,

I understand how you’re feeling, everyone has experienced something similar. What I’ve realised is that it takes real time and dedication to form friendships. From your post it looks like you’ve only just moved into your sixth form.
It’s natural to feel disequilibrium and uncomfortable in a new environment with new people. And to have to start the process of making friends in this place can feel like a difficult task. But, remember that you are not the black sheep in this. Just as everybody is new to you, on the flip side you are also new to them. That means that not only can they can get to know you better, but also you can get to know them better too.
So my advice: be curious, be open minded. Don’t shut people off because they don’t share the same interests as you. There’s much more to a persons character than their hobbies.
If you find out what people like and don’t like you’re half-way there. The other half comes from them, finding out the same about you.

Finally, I encourage you to make sure that you stay focused on your studies . Whatever social life you enjoy, your grades will be the things that open doors for your future in the end. Think about making friends that align with your long term personal values: do you want to go to university? Do you want to work in some field? What do you value?

I hope that helps

-Lana
Reply 2
Original post by NULondon Lana
Hey Amy,

I understand how you’re feeling, everyone has experienced something similar. What I’ve realised is that it takes real time and dedication to form friendships. From your post it looks like you’ve only just moved into your sixth form.
It’s natural to feel disequilibrium and uncomfortable in a new environment with new people. And to have to start the process of making friends in this place can feel like a difficult task. But, remember that you are not the black sheep in this. Just as everybody is new to you, on the flip side you are also new to them. That means that not only can they can get to know you better, but also you can get to know them better too.
So my advice: be curious, be open minded. Don’t shut people off because they don’t share the same interests as you. There’s much more to a persons character than their hobbies.
If you find out what people like and don’t like you’re half-way there. The other half comes from them, finding out the same about you.

Finally, I encourage you to make sure that you stay focused on your studies . Whatever social life you enjoy, your grades will be the things that open doors for your future in the end. Think about making friends that align with your long term personal values: do you want to go to university? Do you want to work in some field? What do you value?

I hope that helps

-Lana

Hi Lana,
I joined in September so I am still relatively new, and of course it takes time but I just feel so lonely and I haven't felt like this in a while. I am being open minded and I still am trying to reach out to more people.
About the friendship group I currently am with, most of them they don't talk to me unless I say something first and its been like that for a while. I think because of our differences and the fact that I have o lessons with them, its very hard to align with them.

I definitely will always be focused on my studies, I aspire to go to Oxford or Cambridge to study English literature so I hope I find a group with the same or similar interests as me as I'm finding it so difficult atm . I hope it gets easier but I just don't understand how to start hanging out with someone else .
Thank you for the advice !

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