The Student Room Group

SHOULD I CUT MY FRIEND OFF? please read im desperate

i have a friend that i’ve known since middle school. everything was fine between us, we were apart of a large friend group through the years and i was the who wasn’t as close as the other girls were (so i felt). Anyways, slowly our group size decreased and i fell out with most of the girls but one. This particular friend was very close to one of the other girls in our friend group and was the reason i cut that friend off as well. during my first year of college me and the friend i remained cool with grew closer. i started to realize this friends life was very chaotic. she always had something going on.. she ran away a lot, ( her and her mother’s relationship wasn’t healthy all the time) there was a time where she would ask me for money, nothing crazy but still consistently at one point. she crashed my first car, she got into with these girls and they ended up coming to my house n threatening me and something happened with her crazy ass ex and almost made me crash my new car. anyways we moved on from it and she ended up coming over one day and ended up never leaving… for the first 5 months i drove her around everywhere! her problems literally became my problems it was like i had a child. the type of person i am i like my space and her living in my room was driving me insane. ( i was sneaking her in my house) as i mentioned b4 she had a bad relationship with her mom so she didn’t want to go back home) she decided that she would stack her money and get her own place but until then stay at my house. but unfortunately for me she was becoming a burden. i would come home from school sometimes and have to make her food bc she was in my room all day and couldn’t do nothing since my mother was home and she didn’t want to get caught. there were times i would drive 45 mins+ and she never once offered me gas money unless i asked. she was very inconsiderate. i could be laying down relaxing and she would asked me to take her somewhere. i would get up early and take her somewhere and have to pick her up. i was so exhausted and annoyed. there were times where she would have me drive her somewhere and then i would end up having to turn around. on top of that i found out i was pregnant. moving forward i ended up going out of town for a while and i was planning in my head how i was going to tell her it was time for her to leave as i was going out of town. somehow i went back on my decision and ended up letting her stay at my house .. b4 i left i had to open up and tell her how i was feeling bc i couldn’t take it i was so drained and i have a hard time setting boundaries. im quiet and have a hard time speaking up for myself sometimes. it’s something im working on. anyways she seemed as if she knew and understood. she even cried and said she hates being in my way but yet nothing changed.. she was forced to find a car a week b4 i left. luckily she did. she talked abt how she was going to be gone by the time i came back ( in a month n a half) .. fast forward i came back she was no where near gone.. she constantly fed me bs talking about how she was going to get an apartment blah blah blah, but bs the whole time she had a job for 2 weeks then quit. every month for 4 months i asked her what was her plan and she continued to feed me bs and acted like she would be out b4 i had my child. she had a small business and was trying to stack with the money from her business but didn’t have the clientele to do so. this continued literally up until i had my child. i literally had to text this girl from the hospital bed to leave my house b4 i came back home with my baby. by then my whole family knew she was staying at my house. she ends up leaving for only 2 weeks then calling me one night and asking me without actually asking me to come back. of course i said yes at this point my house was empty even though i wanted alone time with my newborn baby it felt wrong to tell her no and all my family was not home at the time so i said yes. i had my child in november she ended up staying until after new years of 2023, she officially moved in my house at the end dec 2021…. the only reason she really left was bc my house was getting renovated and my mom had to say something. it’s so much more details that i left out but fast forward to today november 2023. these things happened almost a year ago and over a year ago and i feel like i hold some resentment towards her for everything i had to do. i feel like she was so selfish and inconsiderate of my feelings . i feel like she used me and the relationship was one sided. i know u may be thinking like why would i put up with this? but i genuinely at the time didn’t know how to confront her. not only that i still considered her my friend. she’s not a bad person at all, we get along very well and understand eachother. we can go hours and hours talking to eachother and i think that also played a part in why i allowed so much. but now looking back i regret so much bc it really emotionally and mentally drained me. i know it’s not completely her fault. i am mostly mad at myself for allowing someone to take advantage and walk all over me and not speak up. it would’ve been easier if me and her didn’t quite get along but we clicked so well and i would’ve felt bad . i was putting her needs b4 mine and thinking of that upsets me and her knowing the type of person that i am and how i have a hard time speaking up for myself bothers me bc it makes me feel like she knew she could get away with so much. today we’re cool we don’t talk as much as we use to but i have animosity towards her and personally i don’t think i should be friends with someone who i feel like this towards. it’s not that i don’t love her i do but i feel like our friendship should’ve ended a long time ago and she hasn’t done anything lately but i just genuinely don’t want to be friends with her anymore. so lmk what u think u can b honest.
Reply 1
Well from what I can tell your her doormat. SImple as is. Your better, you need to move on with your life and remember she was the past.

You need to think about yourself and your new baby and less about her. She seems a self-centered. I doubt she will change and will keep feeding you lies to end of time.
you HAVE to cut her offf likeee I'm not even kidding rn
Cut her off yes
Don't be a doormat

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