I feel I'm being mistreated by a lecturer and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I'm a mature student (24), and I'm studying art for my undergraduate degree. I delayed university for a long time as I didn't feel it was for me. I have an older sister (35), and there's a ten-year age gap between me and her.

My sister and her husband have a degree in drama and met whilst working at a theatre in my county. This is a theatre that heavily relies on charity and donation and they're short staffed so I volunteered there three times a week and became great friends with everyone. The theatre is sort of split into two departments the drama side and the arts side. The only people who tend to cross over is the bosses.

Whilst volunteering there I met a woman who I became great friends with and she encouraged me to go to university and do a degree in art. We dated for a year, but it ended due to me being stupid whilst drunk and ended up cheating on her.

This September, on the first day of freshers week, we sat around the table and introduced ourselves. I said my name and my lecturer said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Hang on, are you x x? Did you volunteer at x and go out with x?" I didn't know what to say, so I said yes, why, and my lecturer replied that it was because she's my best friend and you cheated on her.

Since then, when we have group work, she makes sure I'm the one who has to do most of the work. She has a thing where she tends to stop in between talking and asks people questions to make sure they're paying attention and I've noticed she's been giving me the look. On a few occasions where she doesn't think I can see she gives me a look as if she hates me.

I get that she hates me because I cheated on her best friend but I feel that she could at least keep it professionals. I have developed some friendships but outside of the course as I've tried to get to know my classmates but their response is we don't like cheaters.

This is starting to get to me now and I don't know what to do. The university I'm attending was my first choice as it's in my hometown and which is where the theatre I volunteered at is and some family members are going under operation for health issues so I'm also caring for them. I'm just struggling to deal with this and maybe it's just me but I feel like I'm being mistreated by her.

Reply 1

Zarek

Doesn’t sound too bad to me. Some of my lecturers were real arses and that was without an affair. If you’ve tangible evidence you could raise a grievance. Personally I would take your medicine with her and develop allies elsewhere