selfish housemates / do i move out?
2 of my housemates know i get (badly) triggered by constant door slamming which shakes the floor (i'm above the kitchen) and it sends me into a flashback which is not fun ◡̈ they knew about this way before we moved in together and i have reminded them several times since and they either leave me on read or brush it off laughing saying theres nothing they can do. cut to a few weeks ago when they would not stop slamming all the kitchen cupboard doors despite me practically begging them to stop, god knows what they were doing but you dont need to slam the doors for over half an hour. anyways i had one of the worst panic attacks/flashback episodes i've had in years and i was sobbing for a couple hours. i told them this and one of them left me on read and the other essentially said "yeh well you dont clean up your coffee and i dont want to walk on eggshells" like babe just dont let the door slam? didn't think it was a big ask but ok. i've installed some slow close things for the cupboards but they'll probably have something to say about that too and laugh at it.
this isnt the only thing theyve done, to cut a long story short they always ignore/laugh at the rest of us for no reason and create a strong vibe that they hate all of us as they just generally give the impression they don't want to even be around the rest of us 3.
anyways now i've not been able to stop thinking about moving out since and we're supposed to sign on for next year for the house in a week but i cant decide whether i can take another year and a half with their blatant disregard for anyones mental health, bc if they reacted badly to my plea then whats to stop them from laughing at me again?
i love this house and i don't want to leave my other housemates as we have such a good time and get on so easily but i can put myself through another year and a half living with people who don't care about me being upset due to to their actions. i'm going to sit them down and talk to them when theyre back from christmas but do i tell them they made me want to move out or will that spur them to be even pettier in the 6 months we still have on this contract?
this isnt the only thing theyve done, to cut a long story short they always ignore/laugh at the rest of us for no reason and create a strong vibe that they hate all of us as they just generally give the impression they don't want to even be around the rest of us 3.
anyways now i've not been able to stop thinking about moving out since and we're supposed to sign on for next year for the house in a week but i cant decide whether i can take another year and a half with their blatant disregard for anyones mental health, bc if they reacted badly to my plea then whats to stop them from laughing at me again?
i love this house and i don't want to leave my other housemates as we have such a good time and get on so easily but i can put myself through another year and a half living with people who don't care about me being upset due to to their actions. i'm going to sit them down and talk to them when theyre back from christmas but do i tell them they made me want to move out or will that spur them to be even pettier in the 6 months we still have on this contract?
Yeah I'd get out if I was you. If you've had a stern conversation with them regarding the matter and it persists it won't stop. I'd recommend finding some closer friends who you know are respectful and maybe similarly live how you yourself does. Try having a strong word again, if that fails, you'll have to leave or put up with it. Alternatively you can put shock absorbing packs on the door frame to sort that issue. If these particular people are being problematic, inform the building managers or just be smart and try to drive them out.
Personally I'd never live in a house share myself. Too much conflict.
Personally I'd never live in a house share myself. Too much conflict.
(edited 3 months ago)
Honestly, they just seem the type to find some other way to wind you up even if the cupboard issue is resolved. I’d move out.
Original post by Anonymous #1
2 of my housemates know i get (badly) triggered by constant door slamming which shakes the floor (i'm above the kitchen) and it sends me into a flashback which is not fun ◡̈ they knew about this way before we moved in together and i have reminded them several times since and they either leave me on read or brush it off laughing saying theres nothing they can do. cut to a few weeks ago when they would not stop slamming all the kitchen cupboard doors despite me practically begging them to stop, god knows what they were doing but you dont need to slam the doors for over half an hour. anyways i had one of the worst panic attacks/flashback episodes i've had in years and i was sobbing for a couple hours. i told them this and one of them left me on read and the other essentially said "yeh well you dont clean up your coffee and i dont want to walk on eggshells" like babe just dont let the door slam? didn't think it was a big ask but ok. i've installed some slow close things for the cupboards but they'll probably have something to say about that too and laugh at it.
this isnt the only thing theyve done, to cut a long story short they always ignore/laugh at the rest of us for no reason and create a strong vibe that they hate all of us as they just generally give the impression they don't want to even be around the rest of us 3.
anyways now i've not been able to stop thinking about moving out since and we're supposed to sign on for next year for the house in a week but i cant decide whether i can take another year and a half with their blatant disregard for anyones mental health, bc if they reacted badly to my plea then whats to stop them from laughing at me again?
i love this house and i don't want to leave my other housemates as we have such a good time and get on so easily but i can put myself through another year and a half living with people who don't care about me being upset due to to their actions. i'm going to sit them down and talk to them when theyre back from christmas but do i tell them they made me want to move out or will that spur them to be even pettier in the 6 months we still have on this contract?
this isnt the only thing theyve done, to cut a long story short they always ignore/laugh at the rest of us for no reason and create a strong vibe that they hate all of us as they just generally give the impression they don't want to even be around the rest of us 3.
anyways now i've not been able to stop thinking about moving out since and we're supposed to sign on for next year for the house in a week but i cant decide whether i can take another year and a half with their blatant disregard for anyones mental health, bc if they reacted badly to my plea then whats to stop them from laughing at me again?
i love this house and i don't want to leave my other housemates as we have such a good time and get on so easily but i can put myself through another year and a half living with people who don't care about me being upset due to to their actions. i'm going to sit them down and talk to them when theyre back from christmas but do i tell them they made me want to move out or will that spur them to be even pettier in the 6 months we still have on this contract?
Hi there,
Sorry you are going through this, it sounds really tough.
I would say that it doesn't sound like it is a good environment to be living in, especially if you have repeatedly told them about the issue and they have made no attempt to listen to you.
You could always ask the housemates that you get on well with if they want to look for somewhere else to live with you? They might be up for this, unless they want to stay there. Or if you decided to move out and move somewhere else with people that you do not know, this may not be as scary as it seems. I'm sure you could find another house which you like as much and the people may be more respectful towards you.
It's not worth living with people who do not listen to you, especially if it is affecting you this much.
I hope this helps,
Lucy.
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