Is it normal to be upset about the lack of social life?

I used to have some close flatmates with whom I dined at student hall canteens every day and had fun in the flat until midnight, but they're long gone and we're no longer in touch when they've moved on in their life.

Since then, I've always been extremely upset about not being invited to hangouts by friends with most of whom I haven't been able to create close relationship due to my lack of sociability. I've never suspected myself of any autism or social anxiety, nor have I wanted to find it out, but I've pretty bad IBS-D that makes me worry about every dish of food. I've been subject to years of abuse under different ableists, including my dad, over my condition.

I'm recently done with my postgrad and have moved in with someone I didn't know before to take a break in life. I'm subletting off from my housemate who either hosts guests in the house or hangs out until late night multiple times a week. Though we've something in common, I've been invited to join a few to none of my housemate's occasions.

When my housemate hosts guests in the house, I'd sometimes be asked if I want to participate, but I'm uninformed of 90% of these occasions, so it'd be very awkward to jump in to lads I don't know when I'm not in the mood. It also stresses me out when I want to sleep early - my bedroom is downstairs from the living room and the floor has very poor soundproof effect. My housemate has an issue of expecting me to voice concerns while getting defensive when it comes to concerns not being agreed with. I feel myself being a stranger in the house for which I pay rent when my housemate prioritises friends over me.

Now, whenever I notice my housemate having friends over or out for fun until 2~3 am, my heart simply aches. I'm having anxiety attacks more than often and slamming doors when my housemate isn't here because I'm so frustrated with myself having to go through indescribable suffering.

Having said that, is it normal to be upset about the lack of social life?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Anyone having similar experience?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Anyone having similar experience and being able to share some thoughts?

Reply 3

Jang Gwangnam

Original post by Anonymous #1

I used to have some close flatmates with whom I dined at student hall canteens every day and had fun in the flat until midnight, but they're long gone and we're no longer in touch when they've moved on in their life.
Since then, I've always been extremely upset about not being invited to hangouts by friends with most of whom I haven't been able to create close relationship due to my lack of sociability. I've never suspected myself of any autism or social anxiety, nor have I wanted to find it out, but I've pretty bad IBS-D that makes me worry about every dish of food. I've been subject to years of abuse under different ableists, including my dad, over my condition.
I'm recently done with my postgrad and have moved in with someone I didn't know before to take a break in life. I'm subletting off from my housemate who either hosts guests in the house or hangs out until late night multiple times a week. Though we've something in common, I've been invited to join a few to none of my housemate's occasions.
When my housemate hosts guests in the house, I'd sometimes be asked if I want to participate, but I'm uninformed of 90% of these occasions, so it'd be very awkward to jump in to lads I don't know when I'm not in the mood. It also stresses me out when I want to sleep early - my bedroom is downstairs from the living room and the floor has very poor soundproof effect. My housemate has an issue of expecting me to voice concerns while getting defensive when it comes to concerns not being agreed with. I feel myself being a stranger in the house for which I pay rent when my housemate prioritises friends over me.
Now, whenever I notice my housemate having friends over or out for fun until 2~3 am, my heart simply aches. I'm having anxiety attacks more than often and slamming doors when my housemate isn't here because I'm so frustrated with myself having to go through indescribable suffering.
Having said that, is it normal to be upset about the lack of social life?

I see two things, one is fake friends and the other is a struggle to socialise irl.

My best advice to you would be to start working in a job where you will socialise more, where you deal with complaints and have arguments with customers. In environments like that you get advice by chatting to work colleagues who will indirectly help you understand how to deal with difficult and/or fake friends.

When I was living a life of crime I learnt that not everyone are the same true friends they claim they are and more often then not you get used. Like in your situation your being used by your housemate for the rent and unlike a proper friend he can't make any concessions for you and instead guilt trip you into agreeing.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I used to have some close flatmates with whom I dined at student hall canteens every day and had fun in the flat until midnight, but they're long gone and we're no longer in touch when they've moved on in their life.
Since then, I've always been extremely upset about not being invited to hangouts by friends with most of whom I haven't been able to create close relationship due to my lack of sociability. I've never suspected myself of any autism or social anxiety, nor have I wanted to find it out, but I've pretty bad IBS-D that makes me worry about every dish of food. I've been subject to years of abuse under different ableists, including my dad, over my condition.
I'm recently done with my postgrad and have moved in with someone I didn't know before to take a break in life. I'm subletting off from my housemate who either hosts guests in the house or hangs out until late night multiple times a week. Though we've something in common, I've been invited to join a few to none of my housemate's occasions.
When my housemate hosts guests in the house, I'd sometimes be asked if I want to participate, but I'm uninformed of 90% of these occasions, so it'd be very awkward to jump in to lads I don't know when I'm not in the mood. It also stresses me out when I want to sleep early - my bedroom is downstairs from the living room and the floor has very poor soundproof effect. My housemate has an issue of expecting me to voice concerns while getting defensive when it comes to concerns not being agreed with. I feel myself being a stranger in the house for which I pay rent when my housemate prioritises friends over me.
Now, whenever I notice my housemate having friends over or out for fun until 2~3 am, my heart simply aches. I'm having anxiety attacks more than often and slamming doors when my housemate isn't here because I'm so frustrated with myself having to go through indescribable suffering.
Having said that, is it normal to be upset about the lack of social life?

How would you describe IBSD stomach pain? My boyfriend has it and I think he's got it bad, I'm trying to understand and learn more. I do know diet can be a big factor and often the cause of flare ups (along with stress factors). He scheduled an appointment to get meds for it. He says 7-8 out of 10 pain scale. But IDK if he's counting 10 as being in labor, being burned alive, or skinned alive type agonizing pain. He never acts different, but he and I with chronic pain and illness have learned to just suck it up and go to work as we both have high pain/sickness tolerance. He'll work on days he says it's an 8-9 out of 10 stomach pain and I'll work while almost passing out, along with fatigue, pounding headache, lower back ache spreading down to the knees, nausea, vomiting anywhere from 5-15 times at work, sharp lower left and right abdominal pain and/or in middle where menstrual cramps would be, bad ♀️ cramps, lightheadedness, insomnia, loss of appetite. I can't fix my symptoms but it be nice to know if anyone knows of ways to help IBSD and any good med brand names I could mention to him to possibly talk to his doctor about.