The Student Room Group

Scared to start uni in September 2024

I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!
Original post by Anonymous
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!


Most of the things you've said are largely normal concerns. You'll fit in though! Universities are very diverse environments and so you'll definitely find a group of people to fit in if you look hard enough :smile:

Not wanting to leave your home town friends is very understandable but that's just sadly part of growing up :redface: If they mean that much to you (as they should!), then you should keep in touch with them. I still keep in regular contact with a couple of my sixth form friends, and we religiously meet every holiday at least once, when we're all back from uni.

But from the sound of it, it seems like you might need people an awful lot. So do I, to be fair, but I'm a bit concerned by your comment that you need people to feel joy, and you also seem to be a bit more anxious about all this for your own good, so I'd probably talk to somebody about that - your school's pastoral service, for example? :smile:
PRSOM!

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
I’m in the exact same boat as you so I fully know how you feel. Just remember, it’s only for 7/12 months of the year in total meaning nearly half your time will be spent back at your home town anyhow. Everyone is new together at university, it is the only time in your life everyone will be in the same boat as each other socially, as most come from all over the country. My brother was scared when he went to university and he is very social but he was scared as he didn’t know a single soul at his university, but he found some of his closest mates there and even had his mates from home come up to visit him once or twice each year, and he was able to amalgamate his friend groups.

I’m very nervous as I’m sociable, but usually better if I know one or two people in the location or i’m quieter rather than my loud bubbly self. The best thing you can do is push yourself to talk to as many as possible and embrace freshers. Even though you won’t stay friends with everyone you meet in freshers, meeting these people is a gateway to meet more people who you will click with. You’ll also have your flatmates, usually you can ask for a lively, mature, all female, etc household which might make it easier to find people who could share similar interests/wants as you do, which will also make the transition much easier! :smile:

I do hope this eases you a bit to know you are not alone!
Hey hun!
I'm starting uni in September myself and worry about the same things- even though I went to a different one last year! The best thing you can do is put yourself out there, especially during freshers. Everyone is in the same boat and everyone feels lonely and scared at times during university. But believe me the more you get yourself involved the easier it'll be. Join things like societies that you wouldn't think you'd like, even if you don't enjoy it you can make friends along the way- or you'll discover a new passion!

If you dont mind me asking, what uni are you going to? I'm starting huddersfield in September
Reply 5
Original post by Lx_chxrlx_2004
Hey hun!
I'm starting uni in September myself and worry about the same things- even though I went to a different one last year! The best thing you can do is put yourself out there, especially during freshers. Everyone is in the same boat and everyone feels lonely and scared at times during university. But believe me the more you get yourself involved the easier it'll be. Join things like societies that you wouldn't think you'd like, even if you don't enjoy it you can make friends along the way- or you'll discover a new passion!

If you dont mind me asking, what uni are you going to? I'm starting huddersfield in September

Hello !!!

I'm stuck between Leeds and Durham rn and I can't decide as Leeds has better night life but Durhams post graduate prospects seem better ☹️ it's all so confusing and stressful !!
Reply 6
Original post by greentiger
I’m in the exact same boat as you so I fully know how you feel. Just remember, it’s only for 7/12 months of the year in total meaning nearly half your time will be spent back at your home town anyhow. Everyone is new together at university, it is the only time in your life everyone will be in the same boat as each other socially, as most come from all over the country. My brother was scared when he went to university and he is very social but he was scared as he didn’t know a single soul at his university, but he found some of his closest mates there and even had his mates from home come up to visit him once or twice each year, and he was able to amalgamate his friend groups.

I’m very nervous as I’m sociable, but usually better if I know one or two people in the location or i’m quieter rather than my loud bubbly self. The best thing you can do is push yourself to talk to as many as possible and embrace freshers. Even though you won’t stay friends with everyone you meet in freshers, meeting these people is a gateway to meet more people who you will click with. You’ll also have your flatmates, usually you can ask for a lively, mature, all female, etc household which might make it easier to find people who could share similar interests/wants as you do, which will also make the transition much easier! :smile:

I do hope this eases you a bit to know you are not alone!

With flatmates I'm quite scared I won't get along with them. Is that common? I can't think of anything worse that coming home from a day at uni to a house I share with people I dislike or start beef ect..
Original post by Anonymous #1
Original post by Lx_chxrlx_2004
Hey hun!
I'm starting uni in September myself and worry about the same things- even though I went to a different one last year! The best thing you can do is put yourself out there, especially during freshers. Everyone is in the same boat and everyone feels lonely and scared at times during university. But believe me the more you get yourself involved the easier it'll be. Join things like societies that you wouldn't think you'd like, even if you don't enjoy it you can make friends along the way- or you'll discover a new passion!

If you dont mind me asking, what uni are you going to? I'm starting huddersfield in September

Hello !!!

I'm stuck between Leeds and Durham rn and I can't decide as Leeds has better night life but Durhams post graduate prospects seem better ☹️ it's all so confusing and stressful !!


Honestly it depends on what you prefer. If post grad prospects are more important, you can travel to the nearest town for nights out (a lot of students from Derby go to Nottingham for example on nights) if you're able to afford it. However there are opportunities to go onto post grad even with a uni that has not as great prospects if social life/night life is important. Its important to be able to have fun at uni as well as take care of your studies. I'm going to Huddersfield in September, and I'll likely be travelling every so often for nights out, there are ways to have the best of both worlds no matter where you choose!
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!

Hi!

Firstly, almost everyone feels this way so you're not alone at all! Going to university is a massive change so it can be very overwhelming.

The key to finding friends fast at university for me was really just chatting to people, when you move into your accommodation you can make yourself a drink and sit in the kitchen and say hi to people when they're arriving. During any welcome events just go introduce yourself or sit next to people. And during your first classes also say hi. At the start of university everyone knows literally no one so someone being nice and welcoming is amazing and everyone will be really grateful for someone to talk to. I also think making a little groupchat of people you've met or people on your course is great and then you can make plans to go to an SU event or go explore the city together.
Throughout the year you'll meet more people and you may splinter off from your initial group but that's fine!

As for stuff you can do for now I remember joining whatsapp and snapchat groups for people starting at Heriot-Watt in the same year as me and then from that we also made one for people doing my course. This was amazing as we all then managed to meet up before our first lecture and had someone to sit next to and chat to.

These things always work themselves out and you'll be able to come back and see your friends that you have now during reading weeks and holidays so it's not like you'll be saying goodbye forever. You've got this!

I hope this helps a bit and if you have any more questions please feel free to ask!

- Jessica
2nd year, Computer Science (Artificial Intelligence)
Original post by Anonymous #1
With flatmates I'm quite scared I won't get along with them. Is that common? I can't think of anything worse that coming home from a day at uni to a house I share with people I dislike or start beef ect..
I don’t think so to be honest, there’s that many people in a flat you’re bound to click with at least one of them, and most people you won’t be seeing constantly either as the kitchen is the only main shared space, you can always ask to move flats if you end up not liking it and the unis are usually accommodating to this!
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!
Hey there,

First off, it's completely understandable to feel nervous about starting university, especially when facing big changes like leaving home and starting a new chapter in your life. It's okay to feel anxious, and you're not alone in experiencing these emotions.

It sounds like you're a sociable person who thrives on being surrounded by people, and that's a fantastic quality to have! University is a vibrant and diverse environment filled with opportunities to meet new friends and form meaningful connections. While it's natural to miss your hometown friends, remember that this is also a chance to expand your social circle and create new bonds that can last a lifetime.

Feeling like you might not fit in or worrying about encountering fake people is a common concern, but remember that everyone is in the same boat, navigating this new experience together. You'll find people who share your interests, values, and passions, and who genuinely want to get to know the real you.

As for your motivation for A-level revision, it's normal to feel overwhelmed with everything going on. Try to break down your revision into manageable chunks and focus on one thing at a time. Remember the goals you've set for yourself and the reasons why you want to succeed. You've come this far, and you're capable of achieving great things!

If you ever feel like you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for support. Universities offer a range of services, including counseling and academic support, to help students navigate challenges and thrive in their studies and personal lives.

Take a deep breath, trust in yourself, and know that you're embarking on an exciting journey filled with endless possibilities. You've got this!

You're stronger than you know, and brighter days are ahead.

Take care,
Natasha
2nd Year Dietetics Student
University of Hertfordshire
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!
Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious about starting uni, especially if you already have an established friend group at home! However, university is a place where you can meet all sorts of people, so I'm sure that you will be able to find people there who you relate to and will want to befriend. There's also a lot of different societies and clubs that you can get involved in to meet new people.
I hope you start feeling more positive about starting university soon!
-Kat (2nd year psychology student at Lancaster University)
Original post by Anonymous #1
With flatmates I'm quite scared I won't get along with them. Is that common? I can't think of anything worse that coming home from a day at uni to a house I share with people I dislike or start beef ect..
Hey,
It is a normal worry that is shared by so many students. I remember being nervous with who I'd be sharing with and all the what iff's.
My advice is don't let it worry you and don't stress over it. Go with an open mind and be filled with the excitement and know that others are likely just as nervous. Most people like who they are sharing with and after a wee while of everyone adjusting you find a relationship. Also remember that there are supports there if you find you really are struggling with who your sharing with or if you ever have any issues. Don't be afraid to be yourself and mix with other course mates, friends and societies / clubs.
Best wishes for starting uni and moving into your uni accomodation !
Catherine- University of Strathclyde Student Ambassador
I understand your worry, I started first year and I’m ngl to you it’s hard to meet people but it’s also a good chance to find yourself and learn to enjoy your own company. Don’t feel the need to rely on anyone because that can possibly lead to disappointment
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!
Hi there,

I think most of the concerns you have voiced there are totally normal and most people will be feeling the exact same! Everyone worries about the prospect of leaving their home friends and starting to live independently that is certainly not just you. I think try and remember the bigger picture, there are more benefits to getting your A levels than just going to university- they really do help set you up for a career. So even if you do decide not to go to uni in the end (which I don't think you will), you will still have the grades to apply for jobs or apprenticeships.

Honestly though, university is amazing. It's a great time to get a taste of independence and really start living life as an adult. I have definitely met my friends for life at uni.

I really hope this helps,

Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland
Original post by University of Sunderland Student Ambassador
Hi there,

I think most of the concerns you have voiced there are totally normal and most people will be feeling the exact same! Everyone worries about the prospect of leaving their home friends and starting to live independently that is certainly not just you. I think try and remember the bigger picture, there are more benefits to getting your A levels than just going to university- they really do help set you up for a career. So even if you do decide not to go to uni in the end (which I don't think you will), you will still have the grades to apply for jobs or apprenticeships.

Honestly though, university is amazing. It's a great time to get a taste of independence and really start living life as an adult. I have definitely met my friends for life at uni.

I really hope this helps,

Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland


Hi, I’m not op but how long did you take to meet your friends and how did you know they were your proper friends
Hello,

My name is Haya, and I’m a final year medical student and I just want to let you it's perfectly normal to get cold feet or have second thoughts about leaving your hometown to go to university.

It does seem hard at first, and while you may have some second thoughts about the friends you make, you will realise that universities are very inviting spaces and the people there have the same goal as you, making it very easy to get to know and bond with them.

I had the same doubts while moving away from home for my degree, and I can tell you from experience that your university friends become your family and you will learn how to spend your time!

I do hope you've found this helpful. If you would like to show your support, please consider leaving us your vote for Best Official Rep here:https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7443827

All the best,
Haya MBBS V
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've applied for Politics and Philosophy courses and I'm petrified to start uni in a couple months. I'm quite a sociable person that really needs to be surrounded by people constantly to feel any form of joy and I can't bare the idea of feeling isolated away from my home town friends. 6/7 days a week I spend just dreading the idea of leaving everyone and the potential of not fitting in at all or surrounding myself with fake people ect. Genuinely makes me sick. Idk what to do its gotten to the point where I've lost alot of motivation to even try to revise and a levels are right round the corner !!! Help !!!!!

Hi there!

Lots of people feel like this before they start uni so don't worry, it's normal to feel worried before you start. It's a big change and can be hard to adjust to.

There will be lots of different people at uni and everyone wants to make friends so especially in freshers week everyone will be friendly and there will be lots of things to do. I would say to try and be sociable and friendly during freshers as this is the easiest time to make friends and it gives you a bit of confidence for later on in uni if you are used to making friends.

I wouldn't worry about making friends as there will be lots of opportunities to do so- for example by joining a society! This is a great way of meeting new people who have similar interests to you whilst doing something fun that you enjoy. I would recommend looking at the societies that your uni offers before you go so you have an idea of where to start with this as societies fairs can be overwhelming with lots of choice!

If you are living in halls, I wouldn't worry too much before you go about not making friends with your flat mates.It's pot luck who you end up getting put with and it's not something you can predict so I wouldn't worry too much about something that may not happen. Most people who go to uni and live in halls do so because they want to meet friends and I would recommend looking into which halls in your city are more sociable if you want to make lots of friends as it's likely the people living there will be thinking the same thing as you.

As for worrying about leaving your home friends, this was something that I was worried about but I shouldn't have worried! You can invite your home friends up to visit you at uni and you can always go home to see them too! I'm not sure how far away from home you are moving but if it's something you are really getting worried about I would recommend going to uni near your home town if you have applied for one as this might ease your worries.

I hope some of this helps!

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous #2
Hi, I’m not op but how long did you take to meet your friends and how did you know they were your proper friends

Hi there,

I thought I'd reply to this as it took me a while to find my friends in first year!

It can take people quite a while to make real friends so I wouldn't worry if it seems to be taking a bit longer. I would also say that a lot of people don't stay friends with all of the people they meet in freshers week so if it looks like everyone except you has loads of friends I wouldn't pay too much attention as it's likely they don't have as many real friends as it seems. Of course this isn't true for everyone and doesn't mean you can't find your friends in freshers week, I just wouldn't worry too much if you don't make loads of friends straight away.

For me, I started to make more friends in the second half of first year, after Christmas time and then when I started second year I felt like I had a more solid friendship group. I hadn't sorted a house out with friends for second year so I moved in with people I didn't know again and it was really nice as I made a lot more friends this time around.

As for knowing when friends are real, I think that when the excitement of going to uni and meeting loads of people wears off after freshers week, the people that still want to meet up and do things with you, or the people that you talk to more are going to be friendships that last the longest. It's very possible to make great, long lasting friendships at uni, sometimes it just takes a little bit more time.

I hope this helps!
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Quick Reply

Latest