The Student Room Group

How to enjoy uni when living at home?

I’m a first year student living at home and I feel like I’m missing out. I talk to a decent amount of people on my course and luckily I’m not sat by myself all the time on breaks (this is something I was really worried about before I started) but we rarely talk outside of uni and I don’t even know if they would want to. I want to try develop the friendship but it seems like no one else is really that bothered. I feel like if I was living at uni accommodation I would’ve made friends with the people I was living with but it would also be easier to hang out with the people I’ve spoken to because most of them live in the city, but not in uni accommodation. It’s been quite hard finding the few people that I do get on with because the majority of people on my course just behave how people did at high school and I find the disruption really annoying, all of my lecturers have commented on people’s behaviour and one even insinuated this was the worst year they’d taught (I’m not surprised) so I don’t think it’s just me having my head up my arse a bit, I’m just really disappointed with how it’s all turned out.
Another issue I’ve found with living at home is taking part in societies. I’ve only joined one society and only attended it once because it’s generally on days where I’m not in uni and I don’t want to commute an hour and half to get there and the same again to get back when I don’t have any lectures that day. As well, I looked at joining a sports society and the times are quite late, I remember one was 7-10pm which when I live at home it would be quite difficult for me to go to whereas if I lived at uni it would only be a 5 minute walk back home.
I probably sound like I’m whining but I’m just in a bit of a rut with uni. I enjoy my course and I like the majority of my lecturers but I just think the uni and the ‘uni lifestyle’ is absolutely **** and I don’t know what to do, so if anyone has any advice or would be much appreciated.
Which uni?
Original post by abs982
I’m a first year student living at home and I feel like I’m missing out. I talk to a decent amount of people on my course and luckily I’m not sat by myself all the time on breaks (this is something I was really worried about before I started) but we rarely talk outside of uni and I don’t even know if they would want to. I want to try develop the friendship but it seems like no one else is really that bothered. I feel like if I was living at uni accommodation I would’ve made friends with the people I was living with but it would also be easier to hang out with the people I’ve spoken to because most of them live in the city, but not in uni accommodation. It’s been quite hard finding the few people that I do get on with because the majority of people on my course just behave how people did at high school and I find the disruption really annoying, all of my lecturers have commented on people’s behaviour and one even insinuated this was the worst year they’d taught (I’m not surprised) so I don’t think it’s just me having my head up my arse a bit, I’m just really disappointed with how it’s all turned out.
Another issue I’ve found with living at home is taking part in societies. I’ve only joined one society and only attended it once because it’s generally on days where I’m not in uni and I don’t want to commute an hour and half to get there and the same again to get back when I don’t have any lectures that day. As well, I looked at joining a sports society and the times are quite late, I remember one was 7-10pm which when I live at home it would be quite difficult for me to go to whereas if I lived at uni it would only be a 5 minute walk back home.
I probably sound like I’m whining but I’m just in a bit of a rut with uni. I enjoy my course and I like the majority of my lecturers but I just think the uni and the ‘uni lifestyle’ is absolutely **** and I don’t know what to do, so if anyone has any advice or would be much appreciated.
@abs982

You could try and arrange get togethers outside of uni. Perhaps you could arrange to meet up somewhere near to where you live or somewhere in the middle. Perhaps you could even show some of your new friends some of the cool places, near where you live (if they are new to the area). Keeping in contact throughout the week, might also help you to build and develop friendships.

It's easy to imagine that if you were in uni accommodation that things would be better but not necessarily. You might not get on well with your housemates and your friends might live at different halls of residence, which might not make it easy to meet up.

Well done on joining a society! It is frustrating that it's not on the same day as your lectures but you can still make it work for you. Treat it as a library day. (You could still have your lie-in! ) You could go to uni midday and maybe meet someone for lunch and then you could study in the library before going to the society later on. It would be a way of getting the most out of your time at uni.

You could talk to the person who runs the sports society and explain about the timing for practice. They may or may not be able to change that, but they might encourage you to come for an hour or two even if you can't stay for the whole practice.

Finally, you could consider moving out for next year but that comes with own challenges, so you would have to think about finance and where you want to live: whether you want to try and stay in halls of residence or share a house with some of the people you know.

I think you can make uni work while living at home, but I think you just have to maximise your time when you are at uni: go for coffee with people, eat lunch with people and go to uni events during the day, and be willing to commute a bit extra sometimes.

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Original post by abs982
I’m a first year student living at home and I feel like I’m missing out. I talk to a decent amount of people on my course and luckily I’m not sat by myself all the time on breaks (this is something I was really worried about before I started) but we rarely talk outside of uni and I don’t even know if they would want to. I want to try develop the friendship but it seems like no one else is really that bothered. I feel like if I was living at uni accommodation I would’ve made friends with the people I was living with but it would also be easier to hang out with the people I’ve spoken to because most of them live in the city, but not in uni accommodation. It’s been quite hard finding the few people that I do get on with because the majority of people on my course just behave how people did at high school and I find the disruption really annoying, all of my lecturers have commented on people’s behaviour and one even insinuated this was the worst year they’d taught (I’m not surprised) so I don’t think it’s just me having my head up my arse a bit, I’m just really disappointed with how it’s all turned out.
Another issue I’ve found with living at home is taking part in societies. I’ve only joined one society and only attended it once because it’s generally on days where I’m not in uni and I don’t want to commute an hour and half to get there and the same again to get back when I don’t have any lectures that day. As well, I looked at joining a sports society and the times are quite late, I remember one was 7-10pm which when I live at home it would be quite difficult for me to go to whereas if I lived at uni it would only be a 5 minute walk back home.
I probably sound like I’m whining but I’m just in a bit of a rut with uni. I enjoy my course and I like the majority of my lecturers but I just think the uni and the ‘uni lifestyle’ is absolutely **** and I don’t know what to do, so if anyone has any advice or would be much appreciated.
Hi there

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is quite normal to find making friends challenging during first year. I only started finding friends towards the end of first year, so you are not alone in your position.

I would recommend trying to speak to those in your course, asking to hang around after lessons may be worth a try. :smile: Try talking to those that you think are more approachable. :smile: There are always going to be different types of students in each course, so take your time to find your group.

The society situation can be a bit difficult if you are not on campus on those times and days specifically. Perhaps you could try joining a few more, you may be able to find one that you enjoy and which you can attend. :smile:

Alternatively, does your University host any events during daytimes? I think you can check out your student Union's website or social media pages for events- there may be an occasional coffee chat, networking event that you can attend. If you do find yourself struggling, you may like to access your University's support group to see what sort of help they may offer. 🙂

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Reply 4
Original post by University of Huddersfield
@abs982

You could try and arrange get togethers outside of uni. Perhaps you could arrange to meet up somewhere near to where you live or somewhere in the middle. Perhaps you could even show some of your new friends some of the cool places, near where you live (if they are new to the area). Keeping in contact throughout the week, might also help you to build and develop friendships.

It's easy to imagine that if you were in uni accommodation that things would be better but not necessarily. You might not get on well with your housemates and your friends might live at different halls of residence, which might not make it easy to meet up.

Well done on joining a society! It is frustrating that it's not on the same day as your lectures but you can still make it work for you. Treat it as a library day. (You could still have your lie-in! ) You could go to uni midday and maybe meet someone for lunch and then you could study in the library before going to the society later on. It would be a way of getting the most out of your time at uni.

You could talk to the person who runs the sports society and explain about the timing for practice. They may or may not be able to change that, but they might encourage you to come for an hour or two even if you can't stay for the whole practice.

Finally, you could consider moving out for next year but that comes with own challenges, so you would have to think about finance and where you want to live: whether you want to try and stay in halls of residence or share a house with some of the people you know.

I think you can make uni work while living at home, but I think you just have to maximise your time when you are at uni: go for coffee with people, eat lunch with people and go to uni events during the day, and be willing to commute a bit extra sometimes.

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Thank you for your help!
Reply 5
Original post by University of Kent
Hi there

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is quite normal to find making friends challenging during first year. I only started finding friends towards the end of first year, so you are not alone in your position.

I would recommend trying to speak to those in your course, asking to hang around after lessons may be worth a try. :smile: Try talking to those that you think are more approachable. :smile: There are always going to be different types of students in each course, so take your time to find your group.

The society situation can be a bit difficult if you are not on campus on those times and days specifically. Perhaps you could try joining a few more, you may be able to find one that you enjoy and which you can attend. :smile:

Alternatively, does your University host any events during daytimes? I think you can check out your student Union's website or social media pages for events- there may be an occasional coffee chat, networking event that you can attend. If you do find yourself struggling, you may like to access your University's support group to see what sort of help they may offer. 🙂

I hope this helps.
Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep
Thank you for your help!
Original post by abs982
I’m a first year student living at home and I feel like I’m missing out. I talk to a decent amount of people on my course and luckily I’m not sat by myself all the time on breaks (this is something I was really worried about before I started) but we rarely talk outside of uni and I don’t even know if they would want to. I want to try develop the friendship but it seems like no one else is really that bothered. I feel like if I was living at uni accommodation I would’ve made friends with the people I was living with but it would also be easier to hang out with the people I’ve spoken to because most of them live in the city, but not in uni accommodation. It’s been quite hard finding the few people that I do get on with because the majority of people on my course just behave how people did at high school and I find the disruption really annoying, all of my lecturers have commented on people’s behaviour and one even insinuated this was the worst year they’d taught (I’m not surprised) so I don’t think it’s just me having my head up my arse a bit, I’m just really disappointed with how it’s all turned out.
Another issue I’ve found with living at home is taking part in societies. I’ve only joined one society and only attended it once because it’s generally on days where I’m not in uni and I don’t want to commute an hour and half to get there and the same again to get back when I don’t have any lectures that day. As well, I looked at joining a sports society and the times are quite late, I remember one was 7-10pm which when I live at home it would be quite difficult for me to go to whereas if I lived at uni it would only be a 5 minute walk back home.
I probably sound like I’m whining but I’m just in a bit of a rut with uni. I enjoy my course and I like the majority of my lecturers but I just think the uni and the ‘uni lifestyle’ is absolutely **** and I don’t know what to do, so if anyone has any advice or would be much appreciated.
Hi @abs982

It is good to hear that you are enjoying most of your lectures.
I was a student who, in my previous degree, only made friends towards the end of the second year. I found that the people who asked questions during the lectures and were already saying hi to me, wanted me to join their friendship group. Also, I made friends with older students with whom I had more in comon than some of the people my age. In my experience, those living in student accommodations also found it hard to make friends. When I lived away from home most of my flatmates were really into clubbing and I rarely saw them.

Hristiana (Kingston rep)
1st year Mental Health Nursing BSc
Original post by abs982
I’m a first year student living at home and I feel like I’m missing out. I talk to a decent amount of people on my course and luckily I’m not sat by myself all the time on breaks (this is something I was really worried about before I started) but we rarely talk outside of uni and I don’t even know if they would want to. I want to try develop the friendship but it seems like no one else is really that bothered. I feel like if I was living at uni accommodation I would’ve made friends with the people I was living with but it would also be easier to hang out with the people I’ve spoken to because most of them live in the city, but not in uni accommodation. It’s been quite hard finding the few people that I do get on with because the majority of people on my course just behave how people did at high school and I find the disruption really annoying, all of my lecturers have commented on people’s behaviour and one even insinuated this was the worst year they’d taught (I’m not surprised) so I don’t think it’s just me having my head up my arse a bit, I’m just really disappointed with how it’s all turned out.
Another issue I’ve found with living at home is taking part in societies. I’ve only joined one society and only attended it once because it’s generally on days where I’m not in uni and I don’t want to commute an hour and half to get there and the same again to get back when I don’t have any lectures that day. As well, I looked at joining a sports society and the times are quite late, I remember one was 7-10pm which when I live at home it would be quite difficult for me to go to whereas if I lived at uni it would only be a 5 minute walk back home.
I probably sound like I’m whining but I’m just in a bit of a rut with uni. I enjoy my course and I like the majority of my lecturers but I just think the uni and the ‘uni lifestyle’ is absolutely **** and I don’t know what to do, so if anyone has any advice or would be much appreciated.
Hi,

I can definitely understand where you're coming from as someone who too was a home student when I went to uni and I can relate to a fair few of the things your experiencing.

For me it was a case that a lot of the other students on my course were also home students so already had friend groups and other arrangements outside of uni so this could be the case to some degree. I definitely noticed that our class would be quite social during lectures, seminars and group projects which was great but no one really had much drive to socialise outside of that so it's relatively common.

The behaviour thing with other students is just one of those unfortunate things, and whilst I can't say that's something I personally experienced I know for a fact it's something that many of my friends did on other courses.

It might be an idea potentially when you have spare days where you might have just had to travel in for societies that you maybe try and organise something else with society members to make a day out of it to make the travel time worth it as I can totally understand that travelling an hour and a half there and back for activities is a stretch.

I really enjoyed my modules and my lecturers were great, I had a good time in my taught sessions and got on with my work in my spare time and because I was a home student I did a lot with my friends in the area, obviously that isn't necessarily an option for everyone as lots of people move off around the country when they go to uni meaning your home friends might have moved out the area.

You mentioned moving out might be something worth looking into and whilst it's definitely an option, it comes with it's own set of challenges with costs and living with other people so that's one you'd definitely need to have a good look into.

The most important thing is that you enjoy your course and the people who are teaching you because at the end of the day it's why you're there and you'll definitely come to appreciate things like that more so in your second year, and definitely your final year when the work gets more intense and challenging.

You'd be surprised how many people at uni who live at home have a similar experience but it comes down to what you want from your uni experience.

Hope some of this helps!

James - Teesside University

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