Staying in partner's uni room

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.

They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.

I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.

They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.

I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

The 'rules' are don't overstay your welcome, you have to be there only long enough to be a guest, and not a drain on community resources. A couple of mights a month maybe? And your partner needs to learn to travel!

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.

They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.

I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

Hi there,

I would make sure your partner checks in with their flat mates before you come to stay. They'll most likely be okay with it, but it's polite to check in and make them aware. The previous comments on this thread are right - obviously you want to spend time with your partner, but a few nights is probably enough. As the flat is a shared space, you're also staying in their flat mates' home too. Basically, communication is key.

Regarding the accommodation itself, there aren't usually too many rules on guests staying for visits. It might be worth finding out if their accommodation has any rules on overnight stays, but usually accommodations are pretty flexible. Something to be aware of is that some accommodations operate a sign in system for guests on a night time. My first year accommodation did this, and I had to sign guests in by giving my flat number and my guests had to have ID on them. This never got in the way of them staying, but again, just something to look out for.

And lastly, keep things clean and tidy in the flat, and general chat with your partner's flat mates is always good to keep things friendly and less awkward!

Emily 🙂
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 3

De Montfort University

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.

They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.

I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

Hiya!

In regard to the rules of the accommodation i.e., if people can stay the night and how long etc this is it is usually stated somewhere on the university halls website or at least in the contract agreement. I would recommend doing some research into accommodations that would allow this as they will all have their own regulations to follow for the individual building. Usually when guests are allowed, you will have to sign in the guests, and take responsibility for them and any of their actions etc.

Also, the previous comments are right it is definitely worth and appropriate checking this with your partner’s flatmates; it will most likely be fine but it’s just being courteous as this is their space too.

Perhaps after some time, you partner will feel more comfortable and be able to travel to you one day 🙂

Hope this helps
-Maddie, second year Health and well-being in society student at De Montfort University

Reply 4

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

11

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.
They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.
I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

Hi there,

I can understand your concern for accommodation as it's a common one. Every accommodation has different rules depending on the type of accommodation (university owned or private) but the rules are just basic things that should be expected like always keep all communal areas clean, don't make noise that disturbs others, be respectful of everyone, inform your landlord if anyone is visiting and staying over for a while some places don't permit smoking but you'd be informed before you sign the contract alongside other rules. You can also talk to your flat mates and make sure they're okay with your arrangements. My advice would be to look for an accommodation where you can stay together in a location with a good distance to both unis. Because you won't be in Uni every day, it's fine if the accommodation is a commutable distance as long as you have a way of getting to uni. Also, I won't suggest willingly missing days of uni if you can control it. Discuss more with your partner as well and find out how they feel. Hope this helps inform your decision though.

Original post by Anonymous #1

So I have a long distance partner who's coming to the UK for university in September, but they're going to a university 2 hours away which makes it difficult to visit them. My only option would be to stay over a few nights at a time, and miss some days of my own uni to visit them, as they don't feel comfortable travelling when it's going to be their first time in the UK, which is understandable.
They don't know what university they're going to yet. Obviously they need their grades for confirmation, but they've firmed that particular university. They haven't booked accommodation yet either, and I know accommodation rules will be the biggest factor in this, alongside if their flatmates are okay with it.
I guess I'm just asking if anyone has any advice or guidance on what the rules usually are? I know this is probably quite a common scenario so I'm definitely not alone. If push comes to shove I could book a hotel room for a few days, but it would be pricey.

Hi there,

This generally would depend on their housemates and the atmosphere within the house. It can vary but I have heard of this happening often, especially after the person moves out of dorms.

All the best for you're partner moving to the UK. Let me know if I can help with anything else.
All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep

Staying in partner's uni room

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