At what point do you just give up?
Recently found out that I failed last year (my first year). I had to attempt it twice, and I didn't even succeed. I have undiagnosed ADHD, and have been on the NHS waiting list for a diagnosis for 2.5 years. My condition makes life difficult in more ways than I am able to list. Everything is a struggle for me, even basic things that most people don't have to think about. And if I find something boring, I am completely unable to engage with it.
Any problem that I might have has to be filtered through layers of bureaucracy. It isn't just enough to see my student adviser about a problem I have. Student adviser will tell me to try speaking to X person or Y department. So I do that. Then they tell me about the things that they can do (usually not a lot, to be perfectly honest). And then nothing happens, and there is no follow-up correspondence. All while waiting at least a week in between being able to see all these people, so I usually end up forgetting what happened, or if anything even happened at all.
Literally everything is digital now. Assessments, assignments, are all given to us via the university's digital distribution site. It is painful to navigate, and bombards me with so much information that I can barely pay attention to it. I haven't handed anything in this semester, because I don't even know what I am meant to hand in.
I have missed so many lectures that I don't even know what I am meant to be studying right now. Now that the sun is out for most of the day again, I find myself able to attend all my lectures again. And I cannot follow them at all. I just don't have the prior knowledge to understand any of what is being discussed. And I find it so boring that I can't even try to learn it by myself when I'm at home.
I'm going to have to do this year all over again (and presumably my first year as well...?). I hate to imagine that I will just be stuck doing an undergraduate well into my 20s, failing over and over again, while everybody else is getting jobs, postgrads, partners, dogs and kids. This year is the last year that SAAS will fund me, so I think I'll have to pay tuition in 2025. All for a degree that probably isn't very useful anyway.
I am starting to wonder if I am just too disabled to do anything. The lease on my accommodation ends this summer, and I am looking at places to rent in this city, where prices average at about £1,000pcm. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to live next year. I have savings, but I wanted to use them for gender-affirming surgery which isn't covered by the NHS. I couldn't bear to lose out on that opportunity just because I had to pay rent for another year. It would be so easy to just drop out and go live in some crappy rural town for £350pcm. It would be a miserable life, but at least I would be able to afford it.
Any problem that I might have has to be filtered through layers of bureaucracy. It isn't just enough to see my student adviser about a problem I have. Student adviser will tell me to try speaking to X person or Y department. So I do that. Then they tell me about the things that they can do (usually not a lot, to be perfectly honest). And then nothing happens, and there is no follow-up correspondence. All while waiting at least a week in between being able to see all these people, so I usually end up forgetting what happened, or if anything even happened at all.
Literally everything is digital now. Assessments, assignments, are all given to us via the university's digital distribution site. It is painful to navigate, and bombards me with so much information that I can barely pay attention to it. I haven't handed anything in this semester, because I don't even know what I am meant to hand in.
I have missed so many lectures that I don't even know what I am meant to be studying right now. Now that the sun is out for most of the day again, I find myself able to attend all my lectures again. And I cannot follow them at all. I just don't have the prior knowledge to understand any of what is being discussed. And I find it so boring that I can't even try to learn it by myself when I'm at home.
I'm going to have to do this year all over again (and presumably my first year as well...?). I hate to imagine that I will just be stuck doing an undergraduate well into my 20s, failing over and over again, while everybody else is getting jobs, postgrads, partners, dogs and kids. This year is the last year that SAAS will fund me, so I think I'll have to pay tuition in 2025. All for a degree that probably isn't very useful anyway.
I am starting to wonder if I am just too disabled to do anything. The lease on my accommodation ends this summer, and I am looking at places to rent in this city, where prices average at about £1,000pcm. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to live next year. I have savings, but I wanted to use them for gender-affirming surgery which isn't covered by the NHS. I couldn't bear to lose out on that opportunity just because I had to pay rent for another year. It would be so easy to just drop out and go live in some crappy rural town for £350pcm. It would be a miserable life, but at least I would be able to afford it.
What field are you studying? University isn't necessarily the only path to a career and it may be the case that an apprenticeship (if available) or entry-level job would be better for you.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. I also had undiagnosed ADHD during the majority of my time at UCL (only just got diagnosed this week). I found it extremely difficult to engage in lectures and complete work on time too. It was a very difficult 4 years. Was meant to be 3 but I dropped out halfway through first year then restarted the year after. If that wasn’t bad, I was meant to graduate last July but because I kept deferring my exams, I now graduate this summer once I complete my final exam. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and it does get better.
Does your uni have a student well-being/disability service? I’ve read online that someone was able to fast track a diagnosis through this way, anecdotal but worth a try. I ended up going private for a diagnosis (cost £400), it’s pricey especially as a broke student but worth the peace of mind. Before I was diagnosed I was medicating with caffeine, mainly through matcha tea - it contains L Theanine which is an amino acid that counteracts the jitters/anxiety caused from caffeine. It helped me a lot in my final year last year and there’s no way I would’ve gotten through my research project without it. Obviously nothing can compare to actual medication but it’s worth a try if it helps even a little.
Please don’t give up now, it does get better. Similar to you all of my friends are all now in their dream careers, living life while I’m still trying to finish my undergrad. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore what others are doing. Just focus on yourself and finishing your degree
Does your uni have a student well-being/disability service? I’ve read online that someone was able to fast track a diagnosis through this way, anecdotal but worth a try. I ended up going private for a diagnosis (cost £400), it’s pricey especially as a broke student but worth the peace of mind. Before I was diagnosed I was medicating with caffeine, mainly through matcha tea - it contains L Theanine which is an amino acid that counteracts the jitters/anxiety caused from caffeine. It helped me a lot in my final year last year and there’s no way I would’ve gotten through my research project without it. Obviously nothing can compare to actual medication but it’s worth a try if it helps even a little.
Please don’t give up now, it does get better. Similar to you all of my friends are all now in their dream careers, living life while I’m still trying to finish my undergrad. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore what others are doing. Just focus on yourself and finishing your degree
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by bigbouncybaobab
Linguistics. I'm not doing it to get a career tbh, I can't imagine myself ever going to work. I'm just doing it because I find it interesting. But if I can't even pass first year maybe it's time to throw in the towel.
Thats kinda another problem though. If I can't do uni and I can't handle getting a job then I don't know how I will afford to live. I could just about afford rent in some places with my PIP but I literally wouldn't be able to afford to eat. I hate how much effort it takes just to continue living
Thats kinda another problem though. If I can't do uni and I can't handle getting a job then I don't know how I will afford to live. I could just about afford rent in some places with my PIP but I literally wouldn't be able to afford to eat. I hate how much effort it takes just to continue living
I'm sorry to hear you're going through quite a bit of difficulty at the moment. By reading what you've written I would absolutely advise you to reach out to a doctor for your ADHD or to look into certain counselling routes. I have reached out to these myself for my own mental health issues and they've helped hugely. Sometimes life can feel impossible - but it shouldn't!
I would reach out to the doctors and really plead your case for needing help with ADHD - a lot of doctors don't take it too seriously, so if I were you I would book an appointment and discuss your options. Then when you speak with your student adviser, they may actually be able to help with getting you paper resources instead of digital etc. It takes effort but if you tell yourself you can do it, you can!
I also want to tell you what really helped me, ask yourself the simple question: "Am I doing my best". If you can answer this wholeheartedly 'yes' then don't put that additional pressure on yourself by worrying about not achieving. 20s is very young and you will have much more success in the future when you get a handle of your condition. It's nothing to be ashamed of and you can make it in the world - you're still young!
In the meantime, reach out to your doctors and maybe a counselling site for help, tell your student adviser that you've done this and see how the next few months go for you.
Really wish you the best - don't give up!
Original post by bigbouncybaobab
Linguistics. I'm not doing it to get a career tbh, I can't imagine myself ever going to work. I'm just doing it because I find it interesting. But if I can't even pass first year maybe it's time to throw in the towel.
Thats kinda another problem though. If I can't do uni and I can't handle getting a job then I don't know how I will afford to live. I could just about afford rent in some places with my PIP but I literally wouldn't be able to afford to eat. I hate how much effort it takes just to continue living
Thats kinda another problem though. If I can't do uni and I can't handle getting a job then I don't know how I will afford to live. I could just about afford rent in some places with my PIP but I literally wouldn't be able to afford to eat. I hate how much effort it takes just to continue living
Original post by bigbouncybaobab
Recently found out that I failed last year (my first year). I had to attempt it twice, and I didn't even succeed. I have undiagnosed ADHD, and have been on the NHS waiting list for a diagnosis for 2.5 years. My condition makes life difficult in more ways than I am able to list. Everything is a struggle for me, even basic things that most people don't have to think about. And if I find something boring, I am completely unable to engage with it.
Any problem that I might have has to be filtered through layers of bureaucracy. It isn't just enough to see my student adviser about a problem I have. Student adviser will tell me to try speaking to X person or Y department. So I do that. Then they tell me about the things that they can do (usually not a lot, to be perfectly honest). And then nothing happens, and there is no follow-up correspondence. All while waiting at least a week in between being able to see all these people, so I usually end up forgetting what happened, or if anything even happened at all.
Literally everything is digital now. Assessments, assignments, are all given to us via the university's digital distribution site. It is painful to navigate, and bombards me with so much information that I can barely pay attention to it. I haven't handed anything in this semester, because I don't even know what I am meant to hand in.
I have missed so many lectures that I don't even know what I am meant to be studying right now. Now that the sun is out for most of the day again, I find myself able to attend all my lectures again. And I cannot follow them at all. I just don't have the prior knowledge to understand any of what is being discussed. And I find it so boring that I can't even try to learn it by myself when I'm at home.
I'm going to have to do this year all over again (and presumably my first year as well...?). I hate to imagine that I will just be stuck doing an undergraduate well into my 20s, failing over and over again, while everybody else is getting jobs, postgrads, partners, dogs and kids. This year is the last year that SAAS will fund me, so I think I'll have to pay tuition in 2025. All for a degree that probably isn't very useful anyway.
I am starting to wonder if I am just too disabled to do anything. The lease on my accommodation ends this summer, and I am looking at places to rent in this city, where prices average at about £1,000pcm. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to live next year. I have savings, but I wanted to use them for gender-affirming surgery which isn't covered by the NHS. I couldn't bear to lose out on that opportunity just because I had to pay rent for another year. It would be so easy to just drop out and go live in some crappy rural town for £350pcm. It would be a miserable life, but at least I would be able to afford it.
Any problem that I might have has to be filtered through layers of bureaucracy. It isn't just enough to see my student adviser about a problem I have. Student adviser will tell me to try speaking to X person or Y department. So I do that. Then they tell me about the things that they can do (usually not a lot, to be perfectly honest). And then nothing happens, and there is no follow-up correspondence. All while waiting at least a week in between being able to see all these people, so I usually end up forgetting what happened, or if anything even happened at all.
Literally everything is digital now. Assessments, assignments, are all given to us via the university's digital distribution site. It is painful to navigate, and bombards me with so much information that I can barely pay attention to it. I haven't handed anything in this semester, because I don't even know what I am meant to hand in.
I have missed so many lectures that I don't even know what I am meant to be studying right now. Now that the sun is out for most of the day again, I find myself able to attend all my lectures again. And I cannot follow them at all. I just don't have the prior knowledge to understand any of what is being discussed. And I find it so boring that I can't even try to learn it by myself when I'm at home.
I'm going to have to do this year all over again (and presumably my first year as well...?). I hate to imagine that I will just be stuck doing an undergraduate well into my 20s, failing over and over again, while everybody else is getting jobs, postgrads, partners, dogs and kids. This year is the last year that SAAS will fund me, so I think I'll have to pay tuition in 2025. All for a degree that probably isn't very useful anyway.
I am starting to wonder if I am just too disabled to do anything. The lease on my accommodation ends this summer, and I am looking at places to rent in this city, where prices average at about £1,000pcm. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to live next year. I have savings, but I wanted to use them for gender-affirming surgery which isn't covered by the NHS. I couldn't bear to lose out on that opportunity just because I had to pay rent for another year. It would be so easy to just drop out and go live in some crappy rural town for £350pcm. It would be a miserable life, but at least I would be able to afford it.
Hi there,
I'm really sorry to hear you have been going through this, it sounds like you have been having a really tough time.
From what you have said, I think it would be worth going back to the doctors and explaining how tough you have been finding uni and telling them you really need to be seen again. Sometimes if you are persistent with explaining how tough it has been, they will listen to you and there may be ways that they can help you faster. You may also be able to get some form of counselling which might help you too.
I would also look into if you can speak to anybody else at uni about your situation - do you have a personal tutor that you can make an appointment with? Or is it only your student advisor? Most Universities have a wellbeing team or student support services where they help people who are having problems and they can talk through them with you and try and find a solution, so maybe try and see if this is something that is available to you.
As for your lectures, are they recorded for you? If so, this might be a more manageable way of doing them as you can do it in your own space in your own time which might help you to not be too overwhelmed with them.
Would it be possible for you to live at home next year? If so, this may be a good option, however I understand this is not an option for everybody so if not, try looking for the cheapest places you can in the city. Or, if it is a big city, it may be cheaper to look just outside of the city where you can get public transport in as this may save you some money too. It's also worth looking into the bursaries that your University offers. Not many people know about them or know if they are eligible but it is fairly easy to find information on if you look it up. If you are eligible for any, this could help with rent, or paying for a private ADHD diagnosis.
I hope some of this helps and I wish you the best,
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Could you use some of your savings to get a private ADHD assessment?
Original post by smallcatbigmeow
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. I also had undiagnosed ADHD during the majority of my time at UCL (only just got diagnosed this week). I found it extremely difficult to engage in lectures and complete work on time too. It was a very difficult 4 years. Was meant to be 3 but I dropped out halfway through first year then restarted the year after. If that wasn’t bad, I was meant to graduate last July but because I kept deferring my exams, I now graduate this summer once I complete my final exam. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and it does get better.
Does your uni have a student well-being/disability service? I’ve read online that someone was able to fast track a diagnosis through this way, anecdotal but worth a try. I ended up going private for a diagnosis (cost £400), it’s pricey especially as a broke student but worth the peace of mind. Before I was diagnosed I was medicating with caffeine, mainly through matcha tea - it contains L Theanine which is an amino acid that counteracts the jitters/anxiety caused from caffeine. It helped me a lot in my final year last year and there’s no way I would’ve gotten through my research project without it. Obviously nothing can compare to actual medication but it’s worth a try if it helps even a little.
Please don’t give up now, it does get better. Similar to you all of my friends are all now in their dream careers, living life while I’m still trying to finish my undergrad. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore what others are doing. Just focus on yourself and finishing your degree
Does your uni have a student well-being/disability service? I’ve read online that someone was able to fast track a diagnosis through this way, anecdotal but worth a try. I ended up going private for a diagnosis (cost £400), it’s pricey especially as a broke student but worth the peace of mind. Before I was diagnosed I was medicating with caffeine, mainly through matcha tea - it contains L Theanine which is an amino acid that counteracts the jitters/anxiety caused from caffeine. It helped me a lot in my final year last year and there’s no way I would’ve gotten through my research project without it. Obviously nothing can compare to actual medication but it’s worth a try if it helps even a little.
Please don’t give up now, it does get better. Similar to you all of my friends are all now in their dream careers, living life while I’m still trying to finish my undergrad. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore what others are doing. Just focus on yourself and finishing your degree
Original post by bigbouncybaobab
£400 is actually not too bad. The places I have looked at were asking for like £1,000. Are you able to tell me which one you went to?
You need a long and frank discussion with student support at your institution. It's not always necessary to require a diagnosis to get support in place (precisely because of the waitlist times).
The right support could really change things for you and I implore you to speak to those at your institution that are placed to advise and help you. Perhaps start with your personal tutor/academic advisor.
The right support could really change things for you and I implore you to speak to those at your institution that are placed to advise and help you. Perhaps start with your personal tutor/academic advisor.
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