Friends constantly taking the piss out of me

Just stop being friends with them.

Reply 81

OP

1721

stop being a bitch and fight back a few witty comments later and no one will be taking the piss.

Tried it. I get the laughing at their own jokes thing and downtoning my ones thing. Also, it's five of them and one of me, so they're about four times as likely to think of something clever faster than I can.

Reply 82

llys

Please have some self-respect and dump the bastards.

You have acquaintances, probably quite close ones too, from boxing - become friends with them. Or get a part-time job.

Dump them completely. I'm currently undecided whether you should give them a reason or not - I probably wouldn't even dignify them with that.

What will happen is that for a while, they'll make fun of you behind your back, but it won't be as "fun", so they'll look out for a new victim, and this will most likely be - your "friend" (because, frankly, it is apparent that he's a bit of a loser). Your "friend", having seen how it developed with you, will then come running to you.

I really think this would be best. Being in the uncomfortable situation of having no close friends for a bit is no excuse, because a) they aren't your friends anyway (why the hell would you be thinking they are?!) and b) this (being friendless for a bit) will happen all your life, as you move from school to uni, from uni to jobs etc. you will always have to meet new people and make new friends; this is an excellent opportunity to practice.

However if you don't want to do it for whatever reason..., at least stop hanging out only with them. I.e. gradually build other friendships and gradually stop hanging out with those people.

PS: You did nothing wrong. They clearly are immature pricks.

Reply 83

1721

Anonymous

Tried it. I get the laughing at their own jokes thing and downtoning my ones thing. Also, it's five of them and one of me, so they're about four times as likely to think of something clever faster than I can.

good point, you told me.

Reply 84

OP

Walkin'Butterfly

Just stop being friends with them.

I've got other friends, yeah, but I enjoyed being with these one's when everything was normal. The only thing I'm 'waiting' for is for it to be like that again. If it can't change naturally, I'm not going to hang out with them, definitely.

Also, I'd lose that other friend of mine in the process, as he's sort of moved on from me to them. I mean, we're still friends, but he'd give them a higher priority if it came to something. I'm pretty sure of that.

Reply 85

roxy potter

13

llys

Please have some self-respect and dump the bastards.

You have acquaintances, probably quite close ones too, from boxing - become friends with them. Or get a part-time job.

Dump them completely. I'm currently undecided whether you should give them a reason or not - I probably wouldn't even dignify them with that.

What will happen is that for a while, they'll make fun of you behind your back, but it won't be as "fun", so they'll look out for a new victim, and this will most likely be - your "friend" (because, frankly, it is apparent that he's a bit of a loser). Your "friend", having seen how it developed with you, will then come running to you.

I really think this would be best. Being in the uncomfortable situation of having no close friends for a bit is no excuse, because a) they aren't your friends anyway (why the hell would you be thinking they are?!) and b) this (being friendless for a bit) will happen all your life, as you move from school to uni, from uni to jobs etc. you will always have to meet new people and make new friends; this is an excellent opportunity to practice.

However if you don't want to do it for whatever reason..., at least stop hanging out only with them. I.e. gradually build other friendships and gradually stop hanging out with those people.

PS: You did nothing wrong. They clearly are immature pricks.

This is exactly the advice that I was going to give. Gradually stop hanging out with them, refuse most of their invitations.

I had a "friend" in school who used to make me feel really bad about myself. It took me ages to realise how horrible she was but dumping her was one of the best things I ever did. It might be hard to distance yourself at the time, but you'll feel better in the long run.

Reply 86

Nex Angelus

11

reassert your authority... then they wouldn't mess!

Reply 87

llys

Blues for the Heineken Cup!!!! (Sorry, couldn't resist. :ninjagirl:

)

Reply 88

OP

llys

Please have some self-respect and dump the bastards.

You have acquaintances, probably quite close ones too, from boxing - become friends with them. Or get a part-time job.

Dump them completely. I'm currently undecided whether you should give them a reason or not - I probably wouldn't even dignify them with that.

What will happen is that for a while, they'll make fun of you behind your back, but it won't be as "fun", so they'll look out for a new victim, and this will most likely be - your "friend" (because, frankly, it is apparent that he's a bit of a loser). Your "friend", having seen how it developed with you, will then come running to you.

I really think this would be best. Being in the uncomfortable situation of having no close friends for a bit is no excuse, because a) they aren't your friends anyway (why the hell would you be thinking they are?!) and b) this (being friendless for a bit) will happen all your life, as you move from school to uni, from uni to jobs etc. you will always have to meet new people and make new friends; this is an excellent opportunity to practice.

However if you don't want to do it for whatever reason..., at least stop hanging out only with them. I.e. gradually build other friendships and gradually stop hanging out with those people.

PS: You did nothing wrong. They clearly are immature pricks.

Thanks so much for that post. I feel much better than I did earlier today after reading some of the replies on me. For a while, I thought it was me who was the problem. As in I was too weak, too vulnerable, too emotional. As if I had too many chinks in my armor or the like.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to hang around with my other friends, I just can't handle the piss taking anymore.

Do you even think they'll know why I don't hang around them anymore? I don't think they even understand that it bothers me, even though I've told them several times. I'll feel even worse if they just pretend I don't exist. But ah, I shouldn't care should I.

Reply 89

Phobia27

ThisNameNowTaken

any time they start up, just walk away and dont say anything....they'll soon realise and stop

This. I know exactly how it feels like OP, except mine was for more like 9 months. At first it was only playful banter, but it got worse as time went on and every week I would come back from school with less confidence and feel like I was a complete joke.

Then one day I saw an episode of Scrubs where Elliot was like this, and one day came back to work full of confidence and that's what kind of inspired me, as lame as it sounds :p:

What I did was one day was I just had enough, I wasn't going to be a pushover anymore and everytime someone took the piss out of me, I either walked away or put on a very serious face, didn't call them anything back. It got so bad one day, I was meant to catch the bus with a few friends after school, they took the piss out of me for some reason just as we were meeting up, so I just walked away and caught the bus on my own. I don't think they 'bullied' me as much since then, and the rest of the whole year soon followed.

Now I feel a million times more confident, and I feel my friends have a lot more respect for me as well. Even if they call you dramatic or whatever, stick by your guns and be very serious. I wouldn't call them anything back though, as that just gives them more of a reason to retaliate. Good luck :smile:

Reply 90

QwentyJ

Anonymous

Haha. I could do that but what would that achieve by the end of it? Surely it would make things worse, no? Or would they leave me alone after seeing that I wasn't taking any of that any more?

How bad things get depends on how friendly they are to you. Judging by what's been said - not much. So do the best of both worlds, tell them to stop being c**ts and insult them as much as possible and then tell you old friend that you aren't having any more of it.

Do you think you can salvage anything from it? Do you genuinely like them when they don't insult you? Are they nice to you when you speak to them on a one to one basis?

Reply 91

neomilan

punch one of them in the face and then make some new friends

Reply 92

OP

QwentyJ

How bad things get depends on how friendly they are to you. Judging by what's been said - not much. So do the best of both worlds, tell them to stop being c**ts and insult them as much as possible and then tell you old friend that you aren't having any more of it.

Do you think you can salvage anything from it? Do you genuinely like them when they don't insult you? Are they nice to you when you speak to them on a one to one basis?

Yes! They are! They actually treat me like a friend when I'm with each one of them alone, it's just when it's the whole group (noone missing.) that the they do this. Otherwise each of them is perfectly okay alone and I get along with them well.

That's what's made me stay to be honest.

Reply 93

QwentyJ

Anonymous

Yes! They are! They actually treat me like a friend when I'm with each one of them alone, it's just when it's the whole group (noone missing.) that the they do this. Otherwise each of them is perfectly okay alone and I get along with them well.

That's what's made me stay to be honest.

I thought so. Sounds like you need to stay away with them when they are in a group, and if you happen to find yourself in it, god forbid, then take my advise and go in guns blazing. FFS, you're a (amateur) boxer, they should be scared of crossing you. I think you need to make clear who is the dominant guy here. If they step out of line, go ape or just walk away.

Reply 94

Anonymous #2

One thing- they are not ur friends if they are takin piss out of you
Find new friends, i was in exact same situation and i moved on and ive founded the bestest mate ever :smile:

u'll find sum1 much better as a mate

Reply 95

THE FIRST

Just act the same back they are looking for a reaction it is normal for a group of guys,
just make some rubbish up and tell them they are it...simple! Would you rather they give you hugs and kisses or what?

Reply 96

OP

THE FIRST

Just act the same back they are looking for a reaction it is normal for a group of guys,
just make some rubbish up and tell them they are it...simple! Would you rather they give you hugs and kisses or what?

No, lol. I'd prefer that we acted like civilised human beings with more than one working brain cell.

Reply 97

username246000

12

they can't be close. To be honest a close friend would be someone I've known since I was a child and I can talk about anything to them as if they were family

Reply 98

OP

cruciform

they can't be close. To be honest a close friend would be someone I've known since I was a child and I can talk about anything to them as if they were family

I've never really had a friend like that..

Reply 99

llys