I've been friends with this girl for several years now, and we're close in that we used to spent a lot of time together in school, but now we've left we rarely make the effort. She has mild Asperger's, which means she can be pretty aloof, not in a hostile way but just generally distanced.
It dawned on me pretty recently that throughout our whole friendship it has always been me making an effort, the general niceties and so on, and she has just gone along with things. I've always wondered if I've used her a bit because she never disagrees with a thing I say, always listens.
But at the same time, she drives me mad, because I want her to argue with me, you know, and hold proper conversations, and actually show me proper friendship - as in, asking me how I am, rather than answer me and say nothing more.
It's selfish I know because she can't help these things, but sometimes I think, why bother? I mean, she came round today after weeks of not a word to ask if she could use my internet for a minute. It was only afterwards I realised that I'd been doing all the talking and she'd only been answering.
I couldn't just drop her but at the same time I feel I'm getting nothing out of this friendship, it's just a one-way thing, and yet I don't want to hurt her feelings as I'm aware she is totally ignorant of how she is.
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Is this bad of me? watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-07-2009 00:31
- 14-07-2009 00:35
Yeah I understood and can kinda relate to how you feel and it's not like your demanding attention by wating her to ask how you feel etc. I'm not sure what advice you could give tbh, as if you talk to her about this you could risk the whole friendship all together.