What's the attraction of high status guys?
Hi.When i started uni 10 weeks ago i met this girl that I have become very good friends with in that time. We always hang about with each other in uni and have a few things planned over xmas etc.. (it's not always just me and her, it just so happens that she's in all my classes unlike the rest of our uni friends, so i naturally spend most time with her). We get on great together and always have a laugh. After about 4/5 weeks we kissed and made it known that we both liked each other. I asked her out but she said she wasnt 'feeling good about that side of things atm', but was insistent that she really did like me.
Anyways, I think there is this other guy that either likes her or that she likes. Whichever it is.. something may be going on there (i have my suspicions). This guy is totally different from me and is stereotypically what a girl would go for. In terms of looks, all modesty going out the window here, but i think i'm better looking. I'm taller and just have an overall nicer face. He's very short and quite tubby around the belly (barely).
But, this guy, like my friend, is always out at clubs etc.. He's the guy that knows absolutely everyone in the club and is always introducing you to knew folk. Perhaps more significantly a lot of people know him. This is partly due to his job (he pr's) and he works at an alternative clothing shop where he meets a lot of bands etc.. We were at a gig the other night and i mentioned some band in a convo and he hit out with 'oh, i'm good friends with them'. My jaw dropped and was pretty much like 'how the f am i meant to compete with that'. He has the 'i dont give a **** attitude' and is very decisive. Always the domineering male of any group. I'm the complete opposite.. not really laddish, kinda quiet, not got the greatest confidence in the world and i don't go out all that much. But when i'm with her alone i feel completely at ease and as i say we have a good time together. I can get quite.. erm bubbly (?) and make a dick outta myself which makes her laugh wheares this guy didnt laugh once the full night, but kept conversation going very well. Doesnt look like he lets loose or maybe he's just not the type of person to get quite jovial.
She did say she wasnt sure how much time she wanted to spend with him (being slightly dismissive). But you know that kinda guy just seems to get girls regardless of what they think of them.
At this point in time I feel like all the fun we have together is gonna go to waste. And this guy who is just there is gonna end up going somewhere with my friend.
I'm disillusioned as to how this guy is more attractive than me (if he is at all, just going by the stereotype).. so any answers? Does status beat funny in terms of attractiveness?
Anyways, I think there is this other guy that either likes her or that she likes. Whichever it is.. something may be going on there (i have my suspicions). This guy is totally different from me and is stereotypically what a girl would go for. In terms of looks, all modesty going out the window here, but i think i'm better looking. I'm taller and just have an overall nicer face. He's very short and quite tubby around the belly (barely).
But, this guy, like my friend, is always out at clubs etc.. He's the guy that knows absolutely everyone in the club and is always introducing you to knew folk. Perhaps more significantly a lot of people know him. This is partly due to his job (he pr's) and he works at an alternative clothing shop where he meets a lot of bands etc.. We were at a gig the other night and i mentioned some band in a convo and he hit out with 'oh, i'm good friends with them'. My jaw dropped and was pretty much like 'how the f am i meant to compete with that'. He has the 'i dont give a **** attitude' and is very decisive. Always the domineering male of any group. I'm the complete opposite.. not really laddish, kinda quiet, not got the greatest confidence in the world and i don't go out all that much. But when i'm with her alone i feel completely at ease and as i say we have a good time together. I can get quite.. erm bubbly (?) and make a dick outta myself which makes her laugh wheares this guy didnt laugh once the full night, but kept conversation going very well. Doesnt look like he lets loose or maybe he's just not the type of person to get quite jovial.
She did say she wasnt sure how much time she wanted to spend with him (being slightly dismissive). But you know that kinda guy just seems to get girls regardless of what they think of them.
At this point in time I feel like all the fun we have together is gonna go to waste. And this guy who is just there is gonna end up going somewhere with my friend.
I'm disillusioned as to how this guy is more attractive than me (if he is at all, just going by the stereotype).. so any answers? Does status beat funny in terms of attractiveness?
He's just a lot cooler than you are. He has a lot of genuinely interesting things to say about himself and his life and does all the right social things to make himself attractive to others.
A rubbish product with great advertising is still going to sell better than a good product with little advertising, and that applies here.
A rubbish product with great advertising is still going to sell better than a good product with little advertising, and that applies here.
Why date a zero when you can date a hero?
A guy's social status makes him more worthy of a girl to invest time in and girls like to go for guys who don't give them their full attention, they like to work to get attention and that's what attracts them to guys like this. Girls are ****ed up but you have to learn to play the game.
He doesn't seem like what I would refer to as "high status" - he seems like the 'the popular guy', maybe someone I'd be attracted to in my teens but not now. Men that are confident and successful will always have a lot of luck with women (there is probably a reason why they became successful in the first place - they have something to offer). But this guy is not what I would think of as successful right now, as I'm 20 I go for guys at around 25-26, and they're usually done with masters and working.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
Original post by *Lollo*
He doesn't seem like what I would refer to as "high status" - he seems like the 'the popular guy', maybe someone I'd be attracted to in my teens but not now. Men that are confident and successful will always have a lot of luck with women (there is probably a reason why they became successful in the first place - they have something to offer). But this guy is not what I would think of as successful right now, as I'm 20 I go for guys at around 25-26, and they're usually done with masters and working.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
OP clearly meant high social status rather than 'successful'.
Original post by JohnnytheFox
Why date a zero when you can date a hero?
I adore the religion picture in your sig. Tis awesome.
Original post by *Lollo*
He doesn't seem like what I would refer to as "high status" - he seems like the 'the popular guy', maybe someone I'd be attracted to in my teens but not now. Men that are confident and successful will always have a lot of luck with women (there is probably a reason why they became successful in the first place - they have something to offer). But this guy is not what I would think of as successful right now, as I'm 20 I go for guys at around 25-26, and they're usually done with masters and working.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
Personally, I am more the introverted kind of girl. I get attention because I am pretty, and I do have a lot to offer in terms of interests and I am clever but I don't really show it a lot. The guys I have been out with in previous years have been type alpha male, those guys seem to like me and honestly I need someone a bit extroverted as company because they're good at keeping the conversation going. If we were two shy people we wouldn't get anywhere. Looks matter to some extent, but unless you're really obese or something, the other stuff matters more to a lot of girls. (An average-looking girl wouldn't get as much attention from guys as an average-looking guy is capable of, putting the right efforts in).The guy I am nuts about right now is shorter than me and not very well built. But then again, that's me, I know some girls go a lot for looks. You sound like a nice person, so you don't need to 'rely' on your looks, however.
and there lies the problem(s)
Original post by Anonymous
and there lies the problem(s)
I don't believe in labeling guys as "bad guys" or "nice guys", it's not like you're too nice, maybe you just need to be more clear about your agenda? The clue is to show that you are sexually attracted to her and all that, without coming off as sleazy or an ass. A lot of popular guys like the one you describe, know how to do that in a confident way. If he knows so many people, he's probably good at social interaction. To me, that isn't ALL you're looking for in a guy, it's just important in that first phase where you get to know each other.
Original post by polaroid13
I adore the religion picture in your sig. Tis awesome.
I was about to say the same thing, it's genius.
Original post by JohnnytheFox
Why date a zero when you can date a hero?
i'm a zero??? bit harsh
LOL if that's high status in England nowadays I am going to TEAR it up when I go back.
Don't compare yourself and look down on him in some respects, you don't want to become bitter.
Girls (I reckon) predominantly want someone who is assertive, and confident in themselves. It's not enough to be taller and "a bit better looking", just because, on paper, you might think you're "better" in some areas.
Girls (I reckon) predominantly want someone who is assertive, and confident in themselves. It's not enough to be taller and "a bit better looking", just because, on paper, you might think you're "better" in some areas.
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