Freshers- do you just want to have fun, and not a relationship?
Basically I've had a one night stand with a fresher twice (I'm a girl, and in second year). I've had a fling with a fresher once before (we didn't sleep together, but were planning on going on dates and kissed many times/stayed in eachother's beds but decided that we didn't want to rush things) but it ended up with him telling me he just wanted to be friends. I've also heard from many other freshers that now they've come to uni, they sort of just want to have fun rather than being tied down.
But with this fresher who I've had the two one night stands with (I guess that doesn't make them one night stands but anyway) I managed to get in a bit too deep. I'm not particularly new to the ONS thing, I don't sleep around but I did the whole "fun" thing a few times in my fresher year. With this guy, after the first time we spoke a few times on facebook, he was flirting a bit and said he'd like to see me again soon and then we saw eachother at a party a few days later. We were talking most of the night, then it led to flirting and then we went to another party together later.
Unfortunately, at this party he was talking to another girl and then they kissed, I saw him talking to her and then they exchanged numbers but her friends came to whisk her away and then he came straight over to me and asked if I was alright. I told him the truth- I wasn't really ok because I was incredibly jealous, he replied with "Yeah I know, I feel awful about it" and said she was a "mistake" (I think he was quite drunk). Then he kissed me, and we went home together. We slept together again, and in the morning he hugged me, we started kissing again and ended up showering together.
My instincts knew this was a bad idea, and that I'd get in too deep but then I ended up going home, not being able to rest and sending him my number over facebook. He replied today with his number and wished me a happy birthday and I spoke to him a little bit again.
The thing is I know this guy doesn't like me and is using me (or at least I think he is), and I don't really know how to get out of liking him. But I think I'll make the same mistake again and then I'll be in far over my head with someone who just wants sex.
I don't remember my fresher year being like this, but so many of this year are...
But with this fresher who I've had the two one night stands with (I guess that doesn't make them one night stands but anyway) I managed to get in a bit too deep. I'm not particularly new to the ONS thing, I don't sleep around but I did the whole "fun" thing a few times in my fresher year. With this guy, after the first time we spoke a few times on facebook, he was flirting a bit and said he'd like to see me again soon and then we saw eachother at a party a few days later. We were talking most of the night, then it led to flirting and then we went to another party together later.
Unfortunately, at this party he was talking to another girl and then they kissed, I saw him talking to her and then they exchanged numbers but her friends came to whisk her away and then he came straight over to me and asked if I was alright. I told him the truth- I wasn't really ok because I was incredibly jealous, he replied with "Yeah I know, I feel awful about it" and said she was a "mistake" (I think he was quite drunk). Then he kissed me, and we went home together. We slept together again, and in the morning he hugged me, we started kissing again and ended up showering together.
My instincts knew this was a bad idea, and that I'd get in too deep but then I ended up going home, not being able to rest and sending him my number over facebook. He replied today with his number and wished me a happy birthday and I spoke to him a little bit again.
The thing is I know this guy doesn't like me and is using me (or at least I think he is), and I don't really know how to get out of liking him. But I think I'll make the same mistake again and then I'll be in far over my head with someone who just wants sex.
I don't remember my fresher year being like this, but so many of this year are...
I'm not even sure what I'm asking here or whether the above makes sense, I just needed to say it somewhere because I just feel like crying. I don't know how I've got into this with this guy (and no I'm really not a slut usually, I've just made a few mistakes). I also feel like a complete slag 
Could have shorted the title to simply 'Freshers - are you sluts?'.
Original post by ritchie888
Could have shorted the title to simply 'Freshers - are you sluts?'.
Well yeah, but I don't think all people who do the ONS thing are sluts. Doesn't stop me feeling like it though.
Original post by Anonymous
Well yeah, but I don't think all people who do the ONS thing are sluts. Doesn't stop me feeling like it though.
Should probably stop then.
Most (not all) freshers just want fun
Stop talking to this boy so you can move on and find someone that wants a relationship.
Stop talking to this boy so you can move on and find someone that wants a relationship.
Original post by Bubbles0ox
Most (not all) freshers just want fun
Stop talking to this boy so you can move on and find someone that wants a relationship.
Stop talking to this boy so you can move on and find someone that wants a relationship.
Easier said than done.
Original post by Jessaay!
Easier said than done.
very true
but we ALL have to do it and few weeks down the line we feel better for doing so.
Dont beat yourself up chick, you wanted sex, you got sex, no harm done right? However, I think this guy is a player and maybe just wants you around as a link, fwb - whatever you want to call it. If you dont want to get emotionally attached and risk getting hurt i would cut this guy out cos hes probably not in it for the long term to be honest. In general, have fun, dont take life too seriously and dont regret things that felt right at the time. Chin up 
Original post by Bubbles0ox
very true
but we ALL have to do it and few weeks down the line we feel better for doing so.
but we ALL have to do it and few weeks down the line we feel better for doing so.
That's true, though actually getting to the initial stage of that is pretty hard. the mind does ****ed up things. It's taken me two months to try and get my mind off someone I met who had to reject me because he's still in love with his ex and has been depressed since she left him. Though I guess that's different from the OP considering he actually wanted a relationship with me but couldn't for both of our sakes. I hate men.
Original post by Jessaay!
That's true, though actually getting to the initial stage of that is pretty hard. the mind does ****ed up things. It's taken me two months to try and get my mind off someone I met who had to reject me because he's still in love with his ex and has been depressed since she left him. Though I guess that's different from the OP considering he actually wanted a relationship with me but couldn't for both of our sakes. I hate men.
yeah i understand i was actually in a very similar situation to OP.
Sucked, still kind of sucks but im glad it ended when it did/ how it did.
relationships sucks, which is why i cba with them until im at least in my second year of uni.
Original post by Bubbles0ox
yeah i understand i was actually in a very similar situation to OP.
Sucked, still kind of sucks but im glad it ended when it did/ how it did.
relationships sucks, which is why i cba with them until im at least in my second year of uni.
Sucked, still kind of sucks but im glad it ended when it did/ how it did.
relationships sucks, which is why i cba with them until im at least in my second year of uni.
I'd say it's more the love interests that don't lead to relationships that suck rather than the relationships that suck but fair play.
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