The Student Room Group

Was it wrong to slap a mentally unstable guy?

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Original post by Akjar13
As a mentally unstable person, I'm saying she did have the right to hit him. This was not assault, as it was merely self-defense. Anyone arguing against this is suggesting that it is alright for mentally unstable people to go around assaulting people. The fact that he was no longer holding on is irrelevant. If I was grabbing onto someone, just pushing me off would not stop me, however slapping me would make me realise that what I am doing is wrong.


Yes it was assault. Self defense ended when he was no longer holding her.

I have not said that the guy was right, he was wrong. But that doesnt give her the right to do wrong as well. Two wrongs are two wrongs...not a right.

You cannot presume that the guy in question was acting the way that you would and was thinking the way that you think. (I dont believe you anyway, If you were that unstable you wouldnt be able to express your thoughts in the way that you have done)
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 21
The question is; what the **** is a mentally disabled guy doing at a gym? His 'watcher' should take him to a rather more suitable place.

As for slapping him, you didn't slap him for no reason. I think it was just a natural reaction; don't feel so bad about it.
Original post by OceanSoul
The question is; what the **** is a mentally disabled guy doing at a gym?


Maybe he wanted to go there? :wink:

Original post by OceanSoul
His 'watcher' should take him to a rather more suitable place.


Like the gas chambers? :colone:
Original post by morecambebay
Yes you were wrong. At the time that you slapped him, he was no longer holding on to you. It was unnecessary.


So she should have waited to see if someone who had already assualted her would do it again.

OP ignore this guy - you reacted well and in proportion, if he'd done it to a bloke he would probably have lost a few teeth not got a slapped cheek. As for the minder - ask for the agency/department he works for and get his name and report him for negligence. The minder should have stopped the guy when he shouted never mind after he assualted a member of the public


Original post by morecambebay
Yes it was assault. Self defense ended when he was no longer holding her.

I have not said that the guy was right, he was wrong. But that doesnt give her the right to do wrong as well. Two wrongs are two wrongs...not a right.

You cannot presume that the guy in question was acting the way that you would and was thinking the way that you think. (I dont believe you anyway, If you were that unstable you wouldnt be able to express your thoughts in the way that you have done)


and thats the OP's fault how? Doesnt matter that hes mentally unstable, he assualted a person he takes the consequences. I'll agree that he might not have realised what he was doing - however that doesnt take away that the victim has the right to defend themself - oh and just because the person has let go does not mean the assualt has ended and a police investigation and a court would both rule in that favour as it was not overly dispraportionate - it was a slap hardly a machete to the throat.

In either case the person really at fault is the minder/watcher. If he had been on the ball the OP may very well have not been attacked.
Reply 24
Thank you all for the feedback, I've read them all and calmed down a bit.
For the record, he let go right after I slapped him, if that should mean anything. The minder was sitting a bit further away, and it just suddenly happened, thats why he didn't get there before. I will report it to the gym, I don't know his name or anything, but just let them know next time I go. I think he's there just to get out or something, he doesn't seem to be doing much workout.. Just oogling

Unpleasant experience and a bad day. I just got bad conscience when I got back, thats why I just needed someone elses opinions.
Thank you
(and yes btw, I'm a girl)
Should've slapped the 'watcher' as well.
Reply 26
Original post by theorb21
Get over it... no one cares... why would you come on here for advice?


lol she came on looking for some street cred.
Original post by silverbolt
So she should have waited to see if someone who had already assualted her would do it again.

No, she should have paid attention to the fact that he had stopped and that there was no longer a need for self defense. If he went for it again, and showed that he was unwilling to stop, OP's right towards self defence would have increased.

OP ignore this guy - you reacted well and in proportion, if he'd done it to a bloke he would probably have lost a few teeth not got a slapped cheek.
And that would have been assault aswell.

As for the minder - ask for the agency/department he works for and get his name and report him for negligence. The minder should have stopped the guy when he shouted never mind after he assualted a member of the public
Why? Because shouting the name of somebody you mistakingly think you know is wrong? Be honest, if the guy had been normal and had mistook OP for somebody he knew...would you have a problem with it?



and thats the OP's fault how? Doesnt matter that hes mentally unstable, he assualted a person he takes the consequences.
yes, he takes the consequences that social services decide in response to his beaviour...not OP.

I'll agree that he might not have realised what he was doing - however that doesnt take away that the victim has the right to defend themself
I think Ive established my viewpoint that the OP went beyond self defense.

- oh and just because the person has let go does not mean the assualt has ended and a police investigation and a court would both rule in that favour as it was not overly dispraportionate - it was a slap hardly a machete to the throat.

Yes it does. He had let go and had made no move to go for round two. The assault was over. A police investigation and a court would make their decision, Yes. They may not necessarily agree with you though. The fact is that is is for them to decide, not OP. If you want to talk about proportions, remember that the guy only held onto her arm, its not like he was beating her up

In either case the person really at fault is the minder/watcher. If he had been on the ball the OP may very well have not been attacked

And they may not have attacked a disabled person and then come on tsr and recieve messages supporting discriminatory behaviour towards the disabled.
.


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(edited 13 years ago)
No, you seem to have reacted appropriately given the obvious distress caused. More likely, the carer needed to tell you off for his mental wellbeing. People like that could flip if they think their carer is siding against them.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you all for the feedback, I've read them all and calmed down a bit.
For the record, he let go right after I slapped him, if that should mean anything. The minder was sitting a bit further away, and it just suddenly happened, thats why he didn't get there before. I will report it to the gym, I don't know his name or anything, but just let them know next time I go. I think he's there just to get out or something, he doesn't seem to be doing much workout.. Just oogling

Unpleasant experience and a bad day. I just got bad conscience when I got back, thats why I just needed someone elses opinions.
Thank you
(and yes btw, I'm a girl)


Thats not what you wrote in your OP is it.
OP
I physically hit his arm off mine and slap him,


You know what I smell? Lies.

He probably grabbed you because you were being an ignorant bitch and ignoring him. A lot of perfectly normal guys would have done the same...they also perv a lot as well.
Original post by morecambebay
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I like how interestingly you write within my qoute thus making it harder for me to respond, however i'll argue anyway.


No, she should have paid attention to the fact that he had stopped and that there was no longer a need for self defense. If he went for it again, and showed that he was unwilling to stop, OP's right towards self defence would have increased.


this point is moot now as the OP has stated that he let go after she slapped him, so he was assualting her at the time.


Why? Because shouting the name of somebody you mistakingly think you know is wrong? Be honest, if the guy had been normal and had mistook OP for somebody he knew...would you have a problem with it?


Not at all - I have no issue whatsoever that a disabled person mistook the OP for someone else - i do however take issue with the fact that he grabbed her. the fact that he may be disabled (we dont know for definete) does not change the fact that he assualted someon Like it or not depending on the condition a mental patient is potentially more likely to be violent toward a person than someone without a mental condition.


yes, he takes the consequences that social services decide in response to his beaviour...not OP.


All well and good once they are in a nice warm relaxing room with a sheaf of paper to read through adn decide what to do over tea and cookies. That does not help the OP at the time.

And they may not have attacked a disabled person and then come on tsr and recieve messages supporting discriminatory behaviour towards the disabled.


I dont know what your issue is here but il let in you in on a little fact about me. I couldnt care less that the person is disabled, I couldnt give a hoot if hes a normal person or one step removed from a vegatable (and at no point have i advocated nor expressed a prejedice toward mentally disabled people) my issue is that a woman was assualted whilst she is at a gym. He grabbed her and did not let go despite her struggling. She didnt use violence straight away she tried to get away. this is a woman being grabbed by a male who the OP has admitted is intimidating to her. She was scared and she reacted and i say fair play.

As i said a bloke may well have knocked his teeth in for him. You get attacked your first thought is not "gee maybe this guy doesnt know what hes doing he might be disabled better not hurt him in case people this im some kind of mentally disable-ist"
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by morecambebay
Thats not what you wrote in your OP is it.


You know what I smell? Lies.


sigh - the motion could have been done at the same time, one arm jerks free the other slaps.

Original post by morecambebay
He probably grabbed you because you were being an ignorant bitch and ignoring him. A lot of perfectly normal guys would have done the same...they also perv a lot as well.


No they wouldnt, normal people would have shrugged and let it go that someone they dont know didnt answer when they call out a random name and why would she respond to Anna when its not her name?
Original post by silverbolt
I like how interestingly you write within my qoute thus making it harder for me to respond, however im not that easily deterred.

Oh, get over your self. I didnt do it with you in mind. I did it because its the easy way.

this point is moot now as the OP has stated that he let go after she slapped him, so he was assualting her at the time.

The OP has completely contradicted herself. You arent bothered though are you. You dont care about the truth of the situation. You just want to convinve yourself that the disabled bloke was in the wrong because...well, just because he is disabled.

Not at all - I have no issue whatsoever that a disabled person mistook the OP for someone else - i do however take issue with the fact that he grabbed her. the fact that he may be disabled (we dont know for definete) does not change the fact that he assualted someon Like it or not depending on the condition a mental patient is potentially more likely to be violent toward a person than someone without a mental condition.
Plenty of normal guys would have done the exact same thing. I doubt that OP would have reacted the same way to them. The fact that he is disabled does not change the fact that she assaulted him aswell. you just made the last bit up didnt you? Some conditions will make people more likely to be violent, yes. Certainly not enough of them to support the implied generalisation that you are trying to make.

All well and good once they are in a nice warm relaxing room with a sheaf of paper to read through adn decide what to do over tea and cookies. That does not help the OP at the time.
The OP didnt need help at the time. He had let go.


I dont know what your issue is here but il let in you in on a little fact about me. I couldnt care that the person is disabled, I couldnt give a hoot if hes a normal person or one step removed from a vegatable (and at no point have i advocated nor expressed a prejedice toward mentally disabled people) my issue is that a woman was assualted whilst she is at a gym.
So, if a perfectly normal man had mistook op for somebody they knew, got pissed off at the fact that she completely ignored him, then grabbed her, then had his arm pushed off hers, and then despite not making any attempt to do anything else , was slapped. You'd be ok with that? yeah.

(Yes, im going with OP's origonal telling of events.)

He grabbed her and did not let go despite being her struggling. She didnt use violence straight away she tried to get away. this is a woman being grabbed by a male who the OP has admitted is intimidating to her. She was scared and she reacted and i say fair play.

that doesnt make what she did ok. The law doesnt allow us to do whatever the hell we want as long as we say we were scared. and do you know what? By the way the OP is writing, I kind of think that most of her fear is prejudice anyway. I used to work in a bowling alley, disabled people used to spend all day in there just wandering around. Lots of them try speaking to you, yes. But thats all it is...attempts at conversation. There is no need to ignore them.

As i said a bloke may well have knocked his teeth in for him. You get attacked your first thought is not "gee maybe this guy doesnt know what hes doing he might be disabled better not hurt him in case people this im some kind of mentally disable-ist
Never once have I said that OP was wrong to hit him because he is disabled. I have said that she was wrong to hit him because he had let go...again, im going with OP's origonal version


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Original post by silverbolt
sigh - the motion could have been done at the same time, one arm jerks free the other slaps.



No they wouldnt, normal people would have shrugged and let it go that someone they dont know didnt answer when they call out a random name and why would she respond to Anna when its not her name?


*******s, you are just making things up now. she didnt write 'jerked free' she wrote 'physically hit his arm off mine and slapped him' the only way she did them both at the same time is if she has 3 arms; one being held, one to push and one to slap.

Because she clearly knew that he was speaking to her. It was plain rude to just completely blank him.
Original post by HARRY PUTAH
If you posted on your account I'd of repped ya.

Slapping dem retards keeps the tardation at bay.


You can still rep/neg anonymous people. The rep/neg automatically goes to their account.
Original post by Anonymous

Now im just so angry I want to hit something.


Why not hit another mentally retarded person. Maybe this time they could be in a wheelchair.
Original post by morecambebay
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The OP has completely contradicted herself. You arent bothered though are you. You dont care about the truth of the situation. You just want to convinve yourself that the disabled bloke was in the wrong because...well, just because he is disabled.


I shall say again because you seem to have issues taking it into your head - i dont give a damn that he is disabled.


So, if a perfectly normal man had mistook op for somebody they knew, got pissed off at the fact that she completely ignored him, then grabbed her, then had his arm pushed off hers, and then despite not making any attempt to do anything else , was slapped. You'd be ok with that? yeah.


in a word yeah


that doesnt make what she did ok. The law doesnt allow us to do whatever the hell we want as long as we say we were scared. and do you know what? By the way the OP is writing, I kind of think that most of her fear is prejudice anyway. I used to work in a bowling alley, disabled people used to spend all day in there just wandering around. Lots of them try speaking to you, yes. But thats all it is...attempts at conversation. There is no need to ignore them.


Actually the law does allow you to react with proportionate force if you feel you are still in danger and just because you are not at the exact moment being pyshically attacked does not mean the danger has passed. And going by what the OP said he shouted at her, then screamed hardly a civilised attempt to converse with someone he doesnt know.

Original post by morecambebay
*******s, you are just making things up now. she didnt write 'jerked free' she wrote 'physically hit his arm off mine and slapped him' the only way she did them both at the same time is if she has 3 arms; one being held, one to push and one to slap.

Because she clearly knew that he was speaking to her. It was plain rude to just completely blank him.


Really? because i can jerk and push/knock an arm arm away with one arm, dont need a third. Unless the arm is completely immobile she could have pushed and knocked her arm away with one go. However this is complete semantics as we dont know how she pushed the guy away.

He made her uncomfortable and nervous. Ignoring and walking away is pretty much standard practice. And even if it was rude that didnt mean it gave liscence for him to grab her
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by silverbolt
I shall say again because you seem to have issues taking it into your head - i dont give a damn that he is disabled.

I saw what you wrote, I just decided not to believe you. You are refusing to even consider the idea that it could be anything other that his fault.



in a word yeah
Then you would be saying that it is ok to break the law.


Actually the law does allow you to retaliate with proportionate force if you feel you are still in danger and just because you are not at the exact moment being pyshically attacked does not mean the danger has passed. And going by what the OP said he shouted at her, then screamed hardly a civilised attempt to converse with someone he doesnt know.

It wasnt proportionate. The danger from what? He was just holding her god damn arm, he wasnt trying to rape her. even if she hadnt managed to make him let go, all she would have to have done is call the bloody minder over.


Really? because i can jerk and push/knock an arm arm away with one arm, dont need a third. Unless the arm is completely immobile she could have pushed and knocked her arm away with one go. However this is complete schemantics as we dont know how she pushed the guy away.

He made her uncomfortable and nervous. Ignoring and walking away is pretty much standard practice. And even if it was rude that didnt mean it gave liscence for him to grab her

again, no where have I said that he was right. I have acknowledged his wrong doing. what I disagree with is the idea that it gives her a license to do wrong aswell

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Original post by morecambebay
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I saw what you wrote, I just decided not to believe you. You are refusing to even consider the idea that it could be anything other that his fault.


then i shall return the favour refuse to believe you and ignore this. It is his fault he grabbed her, it is his fault he didnt let her go. It is her fault she ignored him which you seem to think means she should then be assualted.

It wasnt proportionate. The danger from what? He was just holding her god damn arm, he wasnt trying to rape her. even if she hadnt managed to make him let go, all she would have to have done is call the bloody minder over.


I have a knife - its in my hand but by your logic because i havent tried to stab you there is no danger. She didnt know what else he was going to do, his next move could have been to punch her in the face, she nor i nor you does not know.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by silverbolt
then i shall return the favour refuse to believe you and ignore this.



I have a knife - its in my hand but by your logic because i havent tried to stab you there is no danger. She didnt know what else he was going to do, his next move could have been to punch her in the face, she nor i nor you does not know.


You really are stretching things now.

You think people should be able to hit others just incase? Where does that logic lead? huh?

Edit: nice sneaky edit you did there. Nowhere have I said that she deserved to be assaulted. I have acknowledged multiple times that he did wrong. I just dont think that it gives her a license to do wrong aswell.
(edited 13 years ago)

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