Dating- to let him pay or not?

Guys read the thread properly .... OP hasn't got an option apart from letting him pay because she hasn't any money. Either let him pay or no dating.

Reply 41

py0alb

3

Yes, something will be expected of you... to buy the first round in the bar you go to after dinner.

Reply 42

Miu-Miu

8

Original post by Anonymous

The girl is out of pocket and hasn't got money for food so she's resorted to dates. Great stuff.

grow up and stop being so bitter

Reply 43

DLJ

13

You're at Uni and you're passing down a free meal?

Leonidas does not approve of this madness:

Reply 44

Carnivores

1

If I was a guy,I would "forget" my wallet. :smile:

Reply 45

joey11223

20

Original post by missaphrodite

Yes, this is what concerns me. On the other hand, it would be really nice of him. It's so awkward :s-smilie:

would you ever let him pay for you in the future?

I think there's wanting to be equal and then taking it too far. I mean as said you could say you pay next time, but what frustrates me is when one party doesn't have as much money but won't accept the other one paying for them sometimes. It's called disposable income, it's their choice as they do it because they want to. I understand the feeling of being inadequate if it happened every time but you can take your principals too far. If it's the difference between being able to do something together(and he is willing to pay) and not doing anything because you won't accept it but don't have money yourself..that seems a bit silly.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 46

-Invidious-

14

Original post by Remy

Never pay for yourself if you are with a guy ...i mean with a guy on a date /bf/ husband etc.
Couse all this equality stuff is grate but it really spoiled western men in a sense what now they dont do anything what guys should do.
He has to pay. Couse its how things work if a guy takes a girl out. You shouldn't feel guilty and you shouldn't feel like something is expected of you. Him paying fo your food ect doesn't mean you have to pay him back with sex.
I think girls who pay for themselves just spoil it all for the rest of us.
I moved to UK from Russia 4 years ago. And back at home it would be just the biggest offence ever if a guy took a girl out and didn't pay for her. Even male friends often pay for female friends in a cafes etc.
In uk i was shocked how many guys offer you to split the bill etc. Now i kinda got used to it. But i would never date a guy like that. Couse i find it very rude.

You are very lucky to find a guy like that.

Go back to Russia. Seriously.

Reply 47

Sazzy890

18

I would always try to persuade him to let me pay or at least half of it.

Reply 48

bananabrain

13

Original post by missaphrodite

So this guy wants to take me out on a dinner date, and he's also insisting that he pays as he feels it's the right way to be and that he wants to be a gentleman. I keep telling him I'd rather pay for myself as I'd feel terribly guilty and also I sort of feel like something is 'expected' of me if I let a guy pay and it's like extra pressure. But he says he just wants to take me out! Not sure whether to give in or not.
What do you think?

Edit: I am only talking about the first date. He is a friend of a friend and we've met twice and talked online for quite a while.

If I were you, just make sure you offer him the money and if he still refuses then let him pay and thank him. He probably doesn't expect anything else out of it, it's just he's a gentleman :smile:

Reply 49

fredscarecrow

18

I think since he's insisting you should accept it politely. Generally I think if someone offers to pay you should always check they're sure, maybe make one or two comments about how you feel bad, and then say thank you very much, that's very kind. Then when you're at the table and the bill comes, just say 'this is very kind of you,, but I am happy to pay..or can I pay for the wine?' then if they say no, just smile and accept.
It can get tedious if there's constant battles over payment, much better to politely accept and appreciate that they'redoing a kind thing...and if you o out agaibn, make sure you pay/pay half.

Reply 50

Remy

Original post by -Invidious-

Go back to Russia. Seriously.

lol. dont know maybe i will. dont really have any plans for after uni yet.
Altho i will sure to mary an eastern european man.

so dont worry.

Reply 51

-Invidious-

14

Original post by Remy

lol. dont know maybe i will. dont really have any plans for after uni yet.
Altho i will sure to mary an eastern european man.

so dont worry.

Im sure he'll treat you like the princess you are.

Reply 52

johndoranglasgow

14

Well all the girls I'm with make me pay, its usually around £8 an hour but you can get a cheap one if they used to be men.

Reply 53

miss_sporty

3

Original post by missaphrodite

So this guy wants to take me out on a dinner date, and he's also insisting that he pays as he feels it's the right way to be and that he wants to be a gentleman. I keep telling him I'd rather pay for myself as I'd feel terribly guilty and also I sort of feel like something is 'expected' of me if I let a guy pay and it's like extra pressure. But he says he just wants to take me out! Not sure whether to give in or not.
What do you think?

Edit: I am only talking about the first date. He is a friend of a friend and we've met twice and talked online for quite a while.

i am exactly like you, i told my bf that i wanted to pay but he said he wanted to be a gentleman and my feminism didnt come into the argument. i think guys like it because it means control and they are doing something "nice", i really dont understand why though, im way to independent though

Reply 54

*Dreaming*

15

Let him pay, if you keep insisting on paying it might embarrass him in a way. He asked you out on the date so in his mind, he should pay.

Reply 55

sarahthegemini

10

Original post by Remy

Well i would be happy enough to stay at home in the kitchen and looking after kids. And maybe its is going to be so later in my life.

The thing is now many guys expect their women to work ...be independent etc.
And society in general looks down on you if you are an unemployed housewife.

All i say is what yeah we should have same LEGAL rights. But men and women are different. Our social roles are different. And i think it should stay that way.

I want to have enough time to spend with my kids. Family etc. And i want a husband who can adequately support this family, make decisions etc. Not a pussy as many guys are nowadays.

p.s guy friends pay for girls couse its considered nice and polite. there is no logical reason. obviously not all guys and not always. but if a guy-friend can afford it he usually will.

You're an absolute loon you know that right? It's not the 1900's :rolleyes:

Reply 56

silent ninja

19

Original post by kristinaalovesu

If he insist to pay then let him pay and tell him the next time you go out together you're the next one to pay.

So from a crummy chippy go to a 5* restaurant then. Rip that bitch off lol

Reply 57

Alison1992

13

It depends, sometimes it helps to make a good impression (particularly on a first date) if the guy pays, it just shows being a gentleman. However, if a guy is strapped for cash and doesn't pay it's not a deciding factor, i'm happy to go halves. If he wants to pay it's good to let him i think, people can be funny about money and be offended if you don't take them up on their offer. However, I don't like it when a guy wants to pay all the time, I like to treat my boyfriends to things and pay my own way seeing as i have a job and earn my own money.

Reply 58

silent ninja

19

Original post by Remy

Well i would be happy enough to stay at home in the kitchen and looking after kids. And maybe its is going to be so later in my life.

The thing is now many guys expect their women to work ...be independent etc.
And society in general looks down on you if you are an unemployed housewife.

All i say is what yeah we should have same LEGAL rights. But men and women are different. Our social roles are different. And i think it should stay that way.

I want to have enough time to spend with my kids. Family etc. And i want a husband who can adequately support this family, make decisions etc. Not a pussy as many guys are nowadays.

p.s guy friends pay for girls couse its considered nice and polite. there is no logical reason. obviously not all guys and not always. but if a guy-friend can afford it he usually will.

As you can see from the TSR reaction, the moral of the story is freedom for all except if you choose to do things that those feminists don't want. Y'all are hypocrites.

If you want to be as described above, that's perfectly fine, but don't forget you can get a part time job, a hobby, or study even-- anything really-- as well as be a housewife and value your time with your kids. A housewife in the UK implies you are a prisoner, which clearly doesnt have to be the case. The feminists take offence on your behalf!! lol Looking at it from an economics standpoint, division of labour is more efficient too.

Personally, I think ALL men and women should come to some kind of arrangement so there is always somebody there for a child until they are at least 4 and head off to school. By "always" I mean 24/7. If the woman chooses to be a housewife, good on her. Bringing up the next society ain't an easy job and if we were doing a proper job we wouldn't have such a screwed youth society today (binge drinking, drugs, sex, teenage pregnancy, lack of education, knife crime, antisocial behaviour etc). If a kid is spending more time with a babysitter than with their parents, there is something wrong.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 59

Remy

Original post by sarahthegemini

You're an absolute loon you know that right? It's not the 1900's :rolleyes:

well i kno :biggrin:

but to be hones i would rather live in ...well not 1900 but 1950s or 60s would be grate.
girls were girls and boys were boys. now its all kinda....went wrong.

it just my opinion. i know majority would disagree.

Dating- to let him pay or not?

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