My mum's an alcoholic...

..and I don't know what to do :/

Not in a kind of messy drunk abusive sort of way, but in a kind of 'i must drink a bottle of wine before bed' kinda way. It doesnt affect her behaviouir really, I guess when you're drinking htat much on a regular basis it loses its effect.

I've tried talking to her but it does no good, she just gets annoyed at me or makes a joke about it and dad just kinda ignores it.

I just don't know what to do.. I'm worried about her health and sometimes she embarrasses me in front of my friends by saying stuff when shes had a few (well.. she's one of those embarrassing mums anyway)

I just don't know what to do :/

Reply 1

SPMS

12

talk to someone about it ... a relative or a professional body?

Reply 2

freakingout!

9

Your dad is ok with it because a bottle of wine is better than leaving the house for a bottle of d!ck...

Reply 3

jk1986

Original post by Anonymous

..and I don't know what to do :/

Not in a kind of messy drunk abusive sort of way, but in a kind of 'i must drink a bottle of wine before bed' kinda way. It doesnt affect her behaviouir really, I guess when you're drinking htat much on a regular basis it loses its effect.

I've tried talking to her but it does no good, she just gets annoyed at me or makes a joke about it and dad just kinda ignores it.

I just don't know what to do.. I'm worried about her health and sometimes she embarrasses me in front of my friends by saying stuff when shes had a few (well.. she's one of those embarrassing mums anyway)

I just don't know what to do :/

How old is she?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by jk1986

How old is she?

late 50s (she was an old mum)

Reply 5

Jesse_Mac

1

The only real thing you can do is say you're afraid about her health. She may brush it off, but maybe if you write it as a letter and give it to her she can do all of her blowing up then actually read it. If not, talk to an external person. I'm sure if you just google the thread title you'll come up with a wealth of external support bodies.

Good luck.

Reply 6

becilouise

I'm in the same position... I don't know what to do with mine either, she just gets really annoyed if you mention it. If you ever want to talk; inbox me.. :smile:

Reply 7

nahm sayn?

wine lol? wait until she reaches for the spirits

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

My grandad (who practically brought me up anyway) is similar to your mum, in that he has to drink wine or similar in the evening, every evening. Though it doesn't make him aggressive, he just sort of goes quiet and thoughtful, but anyway he's just 60 and we've tried everything to get him to stop but in the end people are who they are and they make their own decisions. I used to be really angry with him because in the news all you hear about is how being an alcoholic will kill you and give you liver disease. But at the minute he is going strong, and he does put a lot away. I'm not saying that he's some miracle or anything and that he isn't going to get really ill. I worry about him a lot. Though, I don't think there is much you can do, people have to want to help themselves. Maybe your mum does, maybe she doesnt. Maybe she just doesn't know where to get help from? Have you looked on the internet to see if there are any support groups you could maybe go to, or leaflets to leave about the house maybe? Just as a gentle hint to her?

I don't know but I imagine the reason she is getting annoyed is because she doesn't want to be labeled an alcoholic, a stereotypical alcoholic is someone who drinks all day. But needing alcohol every night makes people an alcoholic none the less. This might just be something you have to swallow, if you've tried all the avenues and she really does not want to help herself, as difficult as it is to watch, like I said, people have to want to help themselves mostly. You can talk to her, drag her to every support group, doctor in the world... but if she doesn't want to stop then i'm afraid she won't.

I don't know how much this will help, but in my experience you learn to develop your own coping strategy depending on the the alcoholic persons choice.

I hope you can help her, and she can help herself. For your sake, and the rest of your families.... it's a tough tough ride. Good luck :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by nahm sayn?

wine lol? wait until she reaches for the spirits

Well its any alcohol really, I just used wine as an example.
Whiskey is a favourite

Reply 10

BITCH_IM_MC_HAMMER

Well you need to do something.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by BITCH_IM_MC_HAMMER

Well you need to do something.

I'm aware of this.. hence my plea for help..

Reply 12

jessicaaax

Original post by Anonymous

I'm aware of this.. hence my plea for help..

hey, i've been through this
pm me if you need to talk to someone!
(anyone else dealing with it, feel free to pm me as well)

Reply 13

M1F2R3

14

Sadly, alcoholics rarely ever acknowledge they have a problem. You need to show your mum that what she is doing is affecting your life, your fathers life (unless it isn't) and her own life.

Reply 14

newts2k

14

Original post by Anonymous

..and I don't know what to do :/

Not in a kind of messy drunk abusive sort of way, but in a kind of 'i must drink a bottle of wine before bed' kinda way. It doesnt affect her behaviouir really, I guess when you're drinking htat much on a regular basis it loses its effect.

I've tried talking to her but it does no good, she just gets annoyed at me or makes a joke about it and dad just kinda ignores it.

I just don't know what to do.. I'm worried about her health and sometimes she embarrasses me in front of my friends by saying stuff when shes had a few (well.. she's one of those embarrassing mums anyway)

I just don't know what to do :/

I know what you mean, its the same with me, a bottle of wine minimum and it does upset me sometimes. She has got worse since my gran died quite recently, I have tried talking a bit about it but she doesn't really take notice.

Reply 15

o Rebecca o

6

Original post by The-Real-One

Well shes more fun that way no?

A typically bored middle class alkie housewive is much funnier when pissed, or they'll start ranting about how boring their life is.

You obviously never had this sort of problem with any of your family members, hence your little joke.

I'm hoping your comment doesn't turn around and bite you one day.

The OP is asking for help. Either be helpful or get lost.

OP, if your parents refuse to acknowledge this problem then I can only suggest talking to another relative, family friend or doctor.

You shouldn't be the one who has to sort her drinking problem out, but at least alert someone who has more authority.

Reply 16

SpicyStrawberry

18

Take her to an AA meeting under the guise that you're taking her shopping/for a meal?

Reply 17

The-Real-One

3

Original post by o Rebecca o

You obviously never had this sort of problem with any of your family members, hence your little joke.

I'm hoping your comment doesn't turn around and bite you one day.

The OP is asking for help. Either be helpful or get lost.

Sadly my own mother does not drink nearly enough at social occasions, pity..

I believe I was being quite helpful in trying to cheer him up, no?

My mum's an alcoholic...

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