Weirdest sexual experiences?

We were sitting on a blanket in a forest, and when he went down on me I just started laughing uncontrollably. And did so a few times while having sex.

And then he accidentally came in my eye.

Hehehe

Has anyone ever done a donkey punch? Was their partner mad?

"It was in a caravan.... I had one bent over the table, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe ****ing the one on the floor"






Oh, Jay

I stuck a finger up a girls bum and she actually **** herself. Still had sex with her 5 min later.

True story. I love uni.

My mate did that!

Mine is true but really weird.

Basically, I woke up at 3am in the morning after having planned it the previous evening .

While my parents were upstairs sleeping, I went downstairs into the living room armed with a laptop, sellotape and scissors.

I stripped naked, turned on the laptop, then used sellotape to bind my arms and legs together as I'm really into bondage. Then I played a video of a woman strip teasing on my laptop and then spent half an hour fapping, enjoying the challenge of doing it with bound hands. The danger that my parents could hear the commotion downstairs and discover me added to my sexual excitement with the situation so I had a very pleasurable ejaculation. Then I cut off the sellotape, turned off the laptop, dressed, had some water and went upstairs to go back to sleep.

Once my girlfriend hand cuffed me and blindfolded me and then rode me even though I didn't want her to

And then he accidentally came in my eye.

Hehehe

Has anyone ever done a donkey punch? Was their partner mad?

I feel jumping straight into a donkey punch is rather extreme. The best way I've found to do it is build up to the sexual apotheosis that is the donkey punch in several, separate steps.

First start tamely, with the charmingly witty and light hearted spiderman, the act of taking your ladyfriend from behind and just when you are about to ejaculate withdraw and spit on her back while catching the population paste in your hands. When she turns around to look at you, throw, in a spiderman like fashion, the semen into her face while yelling "SPIDERMAN"

The next is something I like to call the Angry Dragon. This is where, during fellatio just as you chuck your muck into your dear lovers mouth you also lightly slap her on the back of the head causing her to cough on your megadong. When done correctly the baby gravy will be streaming from her nose and moth giving the effect of an enraged dragon.

If this all goes well then you are getting very close to your goal of administering the donkey punch to your fine lady. This finial step is the Angry Pirate. A practice very well known about. However for those ignorant of such feats I shall give a brief explanation of the methodology behind this glorious practice.

While you are in the standing position and the female is administering oral sex, when you ejaculate you must do so into her eye. Upon doing so you should kick her in the shin. The resulting effect of her covering her jizz filled eye and hopping on one leg is rather akin of a Pirate in extreme Ire.

Only once you have completed this assault (quite literally) course will you be prepared both mentally and physically to administer the donkey punch to your lovely female friend.

Then, if she still hangs around, I would marry her. You will never find another like that!

um just wondering, what is a donkey punch?? too scared to google it if all that nasty **** leads up to it ahaha

too graphic to describe here really